That girl broke my heart on Friday

A Story by KalebX_

This isn’t so much as a story as it is just me venting, she will never read it and it’s probably for the best.

You’ll never read this and most likely never speak to me again and I can’t accept it, so instead I’m going to write about just exactly when I first felt like I was falling in love with you. In a way, I’m glad you will never read this because it’s going to make me seem insane and in a way, I guess I am. Chelsea, the first night we hung out, I was so nervous. I had already pinned it down to the fact that I was more into you than any other girl. You kept my attention, I don’t know if you did it on purpose but I was proud. You are smart, you are funny and genuinely the best person that I have ever met. You were sincere with your care and I knew that, at times I felt it so strong that I couldn’t even deny it if I tried to. I’m getting side tracked, that first night you picked me up and I was so f*****g nervous. I didn’t know what to say so I started rambling and if that bothered you, I am so sorry. You agreed to take us to a very special place for me, I felt that was the perfect place for a first date of sorts. Something that meant so much to me had to be shared with someone who meant so much to me, even at that point I knew you were different. That sounds so cliche and tacky but I don’t care, it’s the truth. You were different, it wasn’t a sexual attraction, it was your mind. I fell in love with your personality, the sarcasm that sometimes left me in tears, your caring nature and so much more as I got to spend more time with you. We climbed the playground in almost pitch darkness, you got stuck on the net thing and I wanted to just lay down next to you but it wasn’t exactly comfortable. We got up to the room, eventually, I forgot how hard that was to climb in the dark but we made it. We stood in the cage, something that I had only done a few times before because I hate heights but with you there I didn’t care. I wanted to share the place with you. People came and ruined it but it was still one of the best dates I’ve ever been on, probably one of the best nights I’ve ever had. You laid on the swing and I pushed you, I don’t even remember how long but it didn’t matter because I wanted that night to last forever. We never got to go back and that makes me sad because well it just does. I remember worrying about getting lost without the use of maps but you managed to get us there because you are an awesome driver and stuff. I tried to show you a song but you couldn’t make out the lyrics but it wasn’t so much the lyrics that mattered more so the title, it was called “how do I tell a girl that I want to kiss her” a lame and subtle hint that I didn’t know how to ask and I was scared to just try. You dropped me off and I figured it was make it break, I went in for the kiss. You knew exactly what I was doing and said no, it was that exact moment that I knew I was going to fall in love with you. Hell, I might have already at that point I just didn’t want to admit it to myself. I got a kiss on your cheek before I had to leave but in my eyes, it was perfect. There isn’t a thing I would change about that night, except for the conversation before you drove us home, I knew you didn’t want to talk about anything like that and I did anyway but I just wanted you to know everything. I didn’t mean for it to come out that I was calling you a. “Druggie” if I knew thats how you would have taken it.. I guess it’s too late now For should have would haves. Its also too late to apologise for all the times I hurt your feeling but I never meant to. I wanted to make your life easier and happier but I guess the only one I can attain this, is to step away. I don’t know when but I’m going to pay you back for everything, all the kind things you did for me that you didn’t have to. I also want to apologise to your mother because I hate the thought that her perfect baby girl is/has been in tears because of me. Your mother is an angel and I can see where you get it from, you never will understand how I see you both inside and out. I’m sorry that I took your innocence from you, something I can never give back. I wanted to be the best for you but I can’t. I’m never going to abandon you but, I will always be here for you no matter what, granted some things I can’t/refuse to help you not now if ever with as it’ll destroy me to do so. I will tell you this if you ever ask for anything, the idea of you even talking to someone else... let’s not bring that up here as this is meant to be somewhat positive I guess? Chelsea Anne Cochrane, I love you and I am sorry that I couldn’t be the person you needed but like I told you the first big fight we had, I’m not going anywhere and if you ever need me, I’m just one number away.