Hate comes easy

The reason I am the way I am

Hate comes easier than love, it is easier to get someone to hate you than it is to get them to love you. Either way I am still where I want to be, you cannot hate with passive thought. I live in the back of your mind, burning at your thought process and that is all I want. I want to be remembered for better or for worse. I live the way I do and do these things specifically to get a react, if I can get under your skin, I can stay there. I find it is better to be hated than loved, love can be fake but you can't fake hatred. I can see it in the eyes of the people who I have given up on and decide to make this change. The slight up turn of their nose when I do something they do not find appropriate, the change in their mood when their eyes meet mine, forced to pretend that they care. Yet they strangely do care, they feel an obligation to check in on me. They pretend that they give a s**t out of guilt. Why bust my arse trying to make everyone love me when I can turn my head and laugh as I can see the anger growing inside of them? Why be kind when I can simple not care and actively push people away, only for them to pull themselves back in when they notice a shift in my mood? Love me or hate me, I'm still here. I'm still there, it's just easier this way but no one will ever hate me more than I hate myself. I don't like to do these things but I have to, a form of self preservation. No one will ever have the right nor the privilege to hate me more than myself and why? Because I simply did this to myself, I made my choices a long long time ago and now this is me living with those decisions. I've tried to change it but time and time again I am proven that I can't do a thing to make anything better. I will never be enough for myself let alone another. Infamous over fame, glory will fade but hate lives on forever. I will be remembered, you will never forget about me but I will forget about me.

Reviews

[B]

I like the honesty you place here
Only for some people hate is impossible and if it comes along its a cut off for life
Why bother with anyone you dislike
Unfortunately hate can be transmitted thats why its best to avoid those who are capable of hatred
ITs the poison of the human soul

Enjoyed reading this particular piece

[KalebX_]

Thank you so much! I am poisoned I have to admit but it's those who poison me who speak the most. I guess what I'm saying is I would rather they hate me for the things I chose instead of things that are actually in my nature. I've been told I'm not a hateable person and sometimes it's easier to drive someone to hate you.

[B]

Hey
You ditch whoever makes you feel hated ....the hell with that

[KalebX_]

It's what I deserve.

[B]

no one deserve to be hated
everyone is to be loved

[KalebX_]

I guess everyone has gone and forgot about me.

[B]

Well .... i am here .... hello
so not everyone i guess

[B]

You do know that when everyone is gone it sort of is the best time for you .... no one to badger you .... now you get to do everything you ever dreamed of

[KalebX_]

I haven't dreamed for a long time.

[B]

You have to be relaxed so dreams happen
tension blocks that part of the brain