Your Cigarettes

It started with the way I fell in love with your cigarettes.

I could instantly feel the fire you lit it with, 

& all the toxins that shot into your lungs.

I could taste the smoke that weaved in and around my teeth.

Immediately I looked at you so poetically.

The sting in our voices with cheap talks 

& the bitterness in the liquor

gave you the confidence to speak in silence when I couldn't.

And for that, I am grateful.

I'm fancied by the way you talk, and the smoke from your

cigarettes seeps from your lips.

You feel so old, used, and broken. But you seem to have it all together.

But I'm the one who falls apart at the seems.

I praise your success, but i'm anxious when you leave.

We both turn our backs and you shut the door.

I trail the stairs and leave myself sinking into the bathroom floor.

I'll suffer in the cesspool we call home if you promise to come back each time.

Each day, i'll tell myself goodnight,

& wish it was you whispering.

I find myself unconscious and high when you're around.

The simplicity in your smile tickles my spine,

& you ask me why I shake so much.

It's like the ocean when I look at you,the current just sweeps me in.

I love to engulf myself in blue.

I hope you wake up one day with a blow 

to your head from the dreams before,

drop to your knees & ask to marry me.

All the while, i'll look at you stupidly, as if you actually had to make it a question.

I'd watch you lite a cigarette, 

& relive day one all over again.

i'd feel the fire, & breathe in the toxins for the rest of our lives.