Chapter left Unwritten

I guess that I was wrong to trust you-

You've only done what I expected you to do.

 

I fooled myself thinking this time would be different,

But the fact that you'd never change should've been apparent.

 

Because people don't change the things that they've always done,

And I guess I should've figured that before I thought that I won.

 

Because what was once good, quickly turned bad,

And now I find it difficult to even get out of bed.

 

I feel lost, crying over hands you once held,

Trying to get up from the ground on which I fell.

 

But when I look around I realize that you're nowhere to be found-

And my tears are drying up, wasted, from their spot on the ground.

 

I know this shouldn't hurt, because you've only done what I expected,

But I'm still trying to deny to myself that I have lost it.

 

I can't keep telling myself that I have this under control

Whenever I keep looking up, hoping for the love I want to hold.

 

But I should know it's not coming back to me,

It walked away and tried to get with someone that I couldn't see.

 

Telling them that they have a smile that no one else could have,

And so, here I am, trying to drown in alcohol, telling myself that I'm not sad.

 

I'm trying not to picture the girl I know so well

With the boy that I am telling myself didn't walk away when I fell.

 

I cannot picture her long blonde hair, or her round eyes

And I definitely cannot picture the way that he captured her in lies.

 

I cannot imagine the face he flashed as she walked up,

Playing her so easily because he could read her like a book.

 

I refuse to see the truth that is right in front of me-

He is the book that I refuse to pick up and read.

 

Because this is a chapter that is better left unwritten,

With a title that is better left forgotten.

 

And maybe I'll forget if I put it down,

And surround myself with the alcohol that I'd love to drown in.

 

All that I have to do is convince my mind to forget his face,

And over time all of the pain will slowly begin to erase.

 

Because I don't need to think of how he was the last person I wanted to have in my bed,

And I also need to forget about all of the fast-lived memories tattooed inside my head.

 

I need to quickly forget all of the times that we've gently kissed-

Because he is a chapter that, by the reader, won't be missed.

Reviews

[Solitary Traveler]

A wonderful poem and I enjoyed it immensely, but as a writer, I know that what I write is what I feel, and what I've experienced, at least most of it is. If this is your life, Don't put that book down. Read that chapter. Don't ignore it. Don't put it aside for the memory to torture you for the next few years, to keep haunting you. If you look, examine, read, think, cry, think some more, and put it in the proper perspective, this event will stop haunting you. This I know. From experience. I ignored, and did not read. I suffered more in the long run. Anyway, just a note that if your poem had this big an effect, it was really well written.

[Kaitlyn Raiford]

Thank you. I am glad that you enjoyed reading my poem. I also appreciate the advice. :)