Lost Her

You came

You left

 

You said

Forever

 

You said

You'll be my wife

 

You said this

Then you said that

 

You said

You loved me

 

You said

You cared

 

You kiss me gently

Then you let me go

 

You were my

Dream come true

 

You were my

Erzulie

 

You were magical

In many different ways

 

You were

So passionate

 

So caring

So damn sexy

 

You were

All mine

 

You were

But now you are not

 

What more

Can I say?

 

I lost the one

I loved

 

I lost the

Women of my dreams

 

 

Author's Note

Erzulie is the goddess of love, romance, passion, and sex.

Reviews

[Yari Garcia (Older Prof..]

Just one mistake *woman* not *women* (women is plural). Other than that, very sad and heartbreaking...

[lovejulez03]

Well done. Too the point. Losing love is never easy

[Brianna Brie]

I like how your poetry makes the couple seem so alive. Not only that but a timeless romance like Romeo and Juliet. You have me so convinced. I wonder if you are really a girl of 17. Kudos!

[Jill Wallflower]

This is really good :)

[CookieMonster♥&h..]

i can really relate:)

[Damon Favreau]

I really liked the reference to Erzulie :) It was a great poem and I could feel those feelings portrayed

[Erinne S.]

Thank you for the author's note at the end. Saved me the trouble of looking that up. Anyway, this was a lovely piece and I enjoyed it!

~Erinne

[Jessi Berlasty]

"You said this, Then you said that" "You kiss me gently, Then you let me go" "You were,
But now you are not"

I'm not much of a poetry person when it comes to analyzing and judging by beauty. However, I am good at structure and you need to add punctuation to this. You need to add some periods and I provided where the commas belonged.

[Jim Parson]

Thanks for the explanation! You saved me googling. What I love about your poetry is the wonderful economy of words you use to make your point. There's no fluff, no pretension, no babbling, just heart and soul. Love the little shocker at the end, too. Well done!

[Ian Faraway]

Oh! Ok author's note helped... um, I'm guessing that this is from a guy's perspective or from a homosexual perspective. I know some people who write from different gender and whatnot so I'm just making sure. It's a very unique, short but strong, poem. J'adore.