The Queen of Night

A poem I wrote a couple years ago and the only thing I found that's worth posting at this point =3 Tell me what you think! Thanks!

The sea rolls forth the glinting of the moon
Beckoning her to weep gently upon its shore
Her reflection stares lost in a vacant sky
A prayer falling silently on blind eyes
Spoken from mortal tongues, misguided lies
Strewn threw the passage of time, molten souls whom death defies
Human mysteries of unfathomable might
These truths lie hidden in her slumbering night
No solace, no reprieve from her sanctuary of shadowed light
Forever damned in human guilt and sacrifice

Shadows fall in blissful radiance
As she sing an eternity of forgotten silence
Her frightened cries plunge through the depth
Pleading words that found no breath
Wind chills as her thickened tongue quivers
Hollow dreams chase her forsaken night
No division between the wrong and the right
Darkened winds carry her scent of midnight musk
In the time of hidden carnage and bedroom lust
She lives an unholy, godless hour
Where terror reigns and angles cower
She dreads the moment light falls to rest
The evening beams retreat and set
Her world of darkness begins to blossom
The moons white face entombed in a black coffin

Reviews

[KaineD]

Haha yess I meant angels! Thank you I probably would have never noticed that sadly...

[Wolff]

Wow, amazing.

The second stanza, did you mean angels rather than angles?

[torments_scribe]

You really have good rhyming skills, and a very good vocabulary too. This evoked a sorrow and hopelessness in me with its somber imagery and foreboding aura. Good structure, and you stuck to the rhythm rather well, though it kind of bobbled for a me at a few points. If you wrote this a few years ago, I'd be curious to see how you're writing now.