Canvas

Inspired by the one who thinks I am a Blank Canvas

Reading your words felt like...

Bullets from a semi-automatic piercing pain in my heart.

Maybe I shouldn't have assumed it was for me

but... our reconnection that just passed made it inevitable

you learned your lesson before

no need to open a closed door...

Then I create the hidden feelings that you'll never see

A man protecting his heart, his dreams

from the harshness of reality.

Refusal to open my door to pain I do not need my past

recreated

frustrated because I live in a world where love is conditional

if I do this, maybe I'll get a little of your time

a little of your mind, for a little of my rhyme

and you're assumption that I need saving... What, the, hell...

I just need someone who is real, who will listen to the story I have to tell.

But, you're not up for that challenge

my time, is not worthy of your salvation

my potential, is not worthy of your attention

my love... what love? You've already made your decision.

And in the end, I see a man

cold, closed exterior, hating love with passion

no color to his soul that resembles Arctic tundras

that disappears in snow drifts

and you no longer have to wonder... 

Reviews

[Pollai]

Nice write, it reminds me of how I used to write when I first started too. You're very descriptive with the emotions and it's easy to understand your depth. You paint a pretty solemn image here. I can relate, I struggled for a very long time with being able to express verbally and writing was how I started it in general. I can tell this was emotions being expressed and you do that well, however, try using more of a form to take it that next step. To take it from raw expression to formal writing. I used to use a lot of ellipses too when I used to first write and it signified pauses for me and at times it was used to denote a deep thought. You can achieve the same by using meters or structured form with punctuation and I can see potential here for sure. You have something nice here, try to polish it a bit to make it great.

[A Man's World]

Pollai, Thank you for the criticism. I do need to polish my grammatical knowledge more when it comes to poetry. It makes me wish that grammar classes didn't end in the 7th grade for me lol. I intend on being more proactive in my poetry, studying form more. But a majority of my pieces are just spur of the moment free writing to get the thought/feeling out before I lose the momentum.