Fist of Fire

A supplement to the story of the Medic, by Hime no Yuki. this is another from the Swordsman's POV

Things were desperate and there was little that could be done to change their situation. The Swordsman stood a midst the chaos of the battle field looking at each of his comrades. Each as tired and battered as the last, and he was no exception. Standing before the group of Generals was a mountainous man clad in thick armor. The man only introduced himself by his title of Paladin. This man had approached them after a long and arduous battle, one that until now was leaning in the General's favor and looked like another victory. Upon meeting them, the Paladin boasted they would fall at his feet without him taking a single scratch. Of course the more confident and arrogant male wolf scoffed and launched himself at this foe without hesitation. Gauntlets at the ready he proceeded to pummel at the man, however the Wolf's blows that have been known to level even an actual mountain before bounced of the Paladin to no effect. Next was the Swordsman's sister who tried to use her lightning, however the Paladin raised his hand  and the the lightning seemingly redirected without making contact.

It was then the group realized the thick armor was not the Paladin's only line of defense; he possessed a powerful Magick barrier. Barriers were not uncommon in this war, however, this one was exceptionally more powerful than anything they have ever encountered. The swordsman decided to try something to test the barrier and drew his sword. He took a deep breath and calmed himself as he needed to be able to strike fast and with precision or else he would no doubt fail. As he centered himself the rest of the group tried distract the enemy. Deciding he would need to use his exceptional speed the Swordsman dashed so fast that most unfamiliar with him would have thought he simply vanished. Normally this allows him to strike his foes down without much effort however when his sword met the barrier his attack was halted and sent shock-waves rattling through his body causing him to come to a full stop. Before he could recover the paladin turned to him with a smirk and punched him in the stomach. Coughing up blood the Swordsman was out of commission for a moment and the paladin then frowned, and shook his head. "You dare taint my holy armor with your disgusting blood. I will make sure to kill you  last after I make you watch as I slaughter your precious allies." The swordsman looked down to see his own blood splattered on the arm of the Paladins armor, and smirked. "As if you could kills them let alone me." The Paladin's only response was to backhand the demon through the air back towards his friends.

His senses reeling from the blow he was unable to see what happened next but he heard the sounds of the Scout, no doubt enraged by seeing his brother smacked around, and the wolf fighting fiercely. Once he was able to focus, he looked to see everyone was standing there with broken weapons and battered bodies. The Paladin himself however was relatively unscathed. It was then he declared he was bored and if the Generals were quite finished it was time to end this farce. The group exchanged looks as if saying they were finished as they had nothing left. Having seen the groups seemingly defeated looks the paladin raised his hand and drew his equally massive sword. "Very well then scum, this Holy sword will end your cursed lives and purify your corpses so your taint shall no longer infect this world." The Swordsman cursed and punched the ground, He knew he could do something but he was afraid to. He glanced at the Medic one last time and realized she knew exactly what he was thinking of doing. She nodded confirming his thoughts. That was all the convincing he needed. Forcing himself to his feet he held his hand out ,palm facing the enemy. "Wait! I have one last trick up my sleeve. Allow me one last chance, If I fail you will have won and deserve to do as you please. I swear on my honor that I will not fight back after this."

The Paladin looked at the Swordsman in complete silence: and for a moment he thought his request would be denied. There was absolutely  no reason why the enemy should accept, so it was a gamble at best. To everyone's surprise the Paladin laughed, "You mean to tell you have not given it your all before? Why would you not give me your all when you know this is life or death?" The swordsman stared at the ground a moment before looking back up, "I guess you could say I was afraid. I have this technique I have been working on. It is mostly unfinished. It could just as easily kill me as well as the others if it goes awry." The Paladin took a few moments to let this information sink and then nodded. "Seems like a win for me, either way you could die. Do as you wish but do not expect a miracle." The Swordsman nodded and took his stance to prepare for his final gambit.

The others realizing what he intended to do tried to object but the Medic silenced them as she knew this was literally their last hope. Standing their with his left palm held out and upwards a small fire ball appeared floating above his palm. After taking several deep breaths he clenched his hand around the fireball, and his body began to emit a flaming aura. After a moment the aura began to flow towards his fist. The swordsman was trying to gather as much of his fire magic and condense it into a single point. He first thought it up as a method to enhance his punches or claw strike for pinpoint damage, such as breaking through a defense. However things were not as easy as that, the strain on his body from holding that much heat and energy was causing his hand to crack and bleed. He stood there trying to push through the searing pain in his arm and gather more energy than he has ever possessed, he knew he need more to break through this mountain of a man's barrier. Blood began to drip from his clenched fist, and as the drops hit the ground they would sizzle and evaporate. Before long the strain was too much and the Swordsman's knees almost gave out. As he fell he heard a voice call out to him, and he stomped his foot down and caught himself. He could not afford to give up now, and he forced himself to stand up straight he felt the blood lust take hold. He was filled with a burst of energy and knew he could not afford to waste even a second as this burst was no doubt limited. Finally deciding he had gathered enough energy , he opened his palm and what had been a small and dull flame was now a white blaze hotter and brighter than anything he had ever held let alone seen.

He looked the Paladin dead in the eyes and smirked. "I hope you are prepared for this as this is my last attack. May these flames cleanse you of your crimes against my kind." The Swordsman then using the last of his energy and will power dashed at the Paladin in a flash and slammed the fireball right into the armored man's chest. At first the barrier stopped it like all the other attacks. Then just as he began to lose hope that his attack was worthless, the barrier began to crack and soon shattered. The armor gave out next and before he knew it, the Swordsman was elbow deep into his enemy's chest. After pulling himself free he saw a charred hole where his strike landed, and he knew the Paladin was dead. Relieved he had not doomed his friends and family he turned and flashed his signature half grin, though the strain on his body was too much and his vision was too blurred to see anything. His arm was burning just as hot as the fireball he had conjured, but he was not in pain as he lost consciousness and collapsed to the ground.

Several weeks later he woke up in bed and cried out about the enemy. He then looked around and realized he was home and the Scout laughed at him. After he was caught up on the events and told he slept for a few weeks he settled back down and relaxed. As it turned out upon the Paladin's defeat the enemy army surrendered and a treaty was made that allowed an era of peace to begin. The Generals had hoped this peace would last, but this was only the calm before the storm. Soon the war would resume, and things were only going to get worse as the Templars decided barriers were not enough to win they need to advance their technology more and use what they hated most against the Generals if they had any hope of winning.

Author's Note

Feedback is appreciated as I am trying to better myself, also in the future I plan to collaborate with my wife Hime no Yuki on projects.

Reviews

[B.G.S.]

Hello, thank you for your submission to, "A Fantasy Duel!" The awards process is just a little over a week away and thus have begun the reading process.

There were many things that stood out in tour writing that captured my attention. Your ability to narrate action and combat scenes is very proficient. I am not very familiar with this certain style of fantasy, but this piece certainly held my interest. The creative ideas were definitely flowing, easily recognized as you had a clear and confident point in everything you wrote.

As always, I wish to offer some suggestions for further growth. The grammar was a bit off, but nonetheless, it did not take away from the story. Secondly, this scene appeared to be taking place during a massive, chaotic battle, but I was left wondering what was occurring around the Paladin and the Swordsman during this epic duel.

I think a few parts lacked certain description or context that had the potential to further escalate this story, however this does not at all belittle the work you have created. Thank you so much for your submission to my contest, best of luck and again: this is a wonderfully told scene, with a mastery of the creative process.

[Miss Jenca]

. . . . . Shining Finger? XD

Okay, okay, enough of that. This was really cool; you shine in combat scenarios, and the battle was fluid and clean. Everything made sense, and felt realistic.

[KeithKVH]

the more confident and arrogant Male wolf scoffed
-Out of place capitalization on male

His senses reeling form
-form>from


I'm assuming this happens much later, though the mention of the swordsman's sister also raises questions for me, as I thought Kairi died and was a water user. Again though I understand this is supplementary to a story I am not yet privy to the entirety of. I'm getting the sense that Yukai and Maeya have gotten together an army and are fighting against a group called the Templars trying to eradicate their kind. It's an real turnaround victory here in this battle, the barrier has them cornered, so he really had to hold it together and use something that dangerous to win. The cracking skin was a nice touch, it's an unsettling visualization for me which really clarifies how unpleasant using that must have been.

[Shinigami of Chaos]

Yes the technique he used was very unstable and unfinished, he will eventually go on to perfect it but it will still be draining on him. As for the sister I meant to edit it slightly. Kairi was not his blood sister but a trusted handmaiden of Yukai's mother and was told to raise him as if she were his sister. The lightning user is actually his long lost twin though didn't learn of their family bond till alter on.

[Ashira Macy]

Well this was an awful lot of fun! The way you described everything was so exciting, and his move was absolutely amazing. Scary that it could have killed them all, and that it took so much energy out of him that he had to sleep for weeks afterward, but you have to have something to lose right?

Suggestions and corrections are shown in parenthesis. Also, at the beginning you capitalize Paladin, but in the next paragraph you don't. I would choose one or the other for consistency.

this one was exceptionally more powerful than anything they (had) ever encountered.

Normally this (allowed) him to strike his foes down without much effort

The Paladin looked at the Swordsman for moment in complete silence: and for a moment he thought his request would be denied. ("Moment" was used twice in this sentence, so I might try to find a synonym or reword it.)

He stood there trying to push through the searing pain in his arm and gather more energy than he (had) ever possessed

Blood began to drip from his clenched fist and and as the drops hit the ground (they) would sizzle and evaporate.

The armor gave out next and before he knew (it), the Swordsman was elbow deep into his enemy's chest and his hand was coming out the man's back.

Several weeks later he woke up in bed yelling out about having to defeat the enemy or he will kills us all. (This one reads a little awkwardly, so it might be good to reword it somehow.)

Again, really great job on this, it was a lot of fun to read, and I look forward to your future work.

[Malister Mikey]

This is a very thrilling read very well written much like your wifes pieces I was immediately sucked in. I've always liked the last chance miracle scenario, maybe because I watch so much anime. You did a very great job. It's funny when someone who could of wins loses because of their arrogance lol.