DeVoid

Sinking deeper into this darkness here without you
How is it I ever came to be without you?
Drifting listlessly in this alien universe
Crossed through some time warp to a land I can't make sense of
Flying and lying and falling all at once
Reaching out for a hand that just won't be there
Stretching my ears for the whisper of a voice that no longer sounds
How deep have I fallen now through the blackness?
A mile?
A mountain?
A lightyear?
Will I ever see a star again?
If I do, maybe then I can follow it back to you
Back to the world that had feeling
Had warmth
Had meaning
Or maybe I'm still there in that world...only without you
Could it be you were the light I basked in?
Could it be you were the music that made me dance?
Could it be that this is what reality actually is when you're gone?
That can''t be true
This absent, numb world can't be real
There must have been a slip in space somewhere
A slip I fell through on a clumsy misadventure
Or was I looking for this slice of change between places?
Was I running again when familiar feelings began to creep?
Was I desperate to escape the heat of your light?
The burn from your warmth?
The blare of your music and soul?
I was before
Oh so desperate and mad before
Mad to escape you
Escape the me that was a part of you
And the you that was a part of me
Before you consumed me
But would that have really been so bad?
To let your light and love and being devour me whole?
Would it have been so unthinkable to live there in your eyes forever?
Those lovely eyes so blue and full
Telling the secrets of your soul in a whisper just for me
Secrets deep and winding and tragic
Secrets of love that only I knew
Love that only I knew
Would it really have been so bad to let us stay that way?
Would it have really been so terrible to fall into you?
But that was long ago
Before this distant leap into the void
Before I lost my chance to wonder these things
As I drift here, your absense permeates me
The hand that held mine each night haunting the space it once stayed
The lips that felt your kiss, tingle with bitter cold
The heart that belonged to you always is finally, painfully missing
Because as always it resides with you
Here I am
A universe away from it
Maybe decades or centuries or eons away from it
Yet somehow I feel its ache
Its exhausted scream with each beat of unrequited love
All my thoughts are with you, wherever you are
All my prayers are for your happiness
All my hopes are that you find all you've ever wanted
All my feelings - love and anguish and exhaustion and strength - are with you
Maybe someday I, myself, will find a way back to you
Maybe someday you can love me like you used to
Maybe someday my grief for my faded friend can be eased
Until then, this vacant vaccuum seems fitting
This void of all existence and energy
Time and space and light and darkness are nonexistent
All this place is is nothing at all
Nothing but a woman who loved you
Who loves you
Who has let you go
And in letting you go,
Let go of it all...but loving you.