God's Lie

Realizing after my dad died that my religion wasn't there for me, I expressed my pain on a piece of lined paper.

God must have been busy when he herd me pray at night
he must have forgotten to help me find the light

God must not pay attention to the wreck less soul
he probably didn't notice when I lost my self control

God must have forgotten about the girl without a dad
he must not have wondered about the life he had had

God must not have cared when a girl would sit and cry
he must not have realized that smile was a lie

God must not have thought that when he threw my troubles aside
that everything in my life suddenly would collide

God must not see me from heaven in the sky
that everything he promised all became a lie

Author's Note

Ignore grammar and spelling

Reviews

[JohnnyMagrinho]

I think the honesty shown within this poem is commendable even if the overall make up of the poem isn't as strong as it perhaps could be.

These poems are the kind I find very hard to critique as they are so personal your inner voice can push out extra words and interjections where perhaps they shouldn't be included. That's the thing with writing such bare, naked and personal poetry. It's also the reason I haven't posted my elegy for my mother on here either, as it is something so personal that I know what all the lines mean and why I wrote it, but if it were ever to be critiqued it probably wouldn't be received as something incredible or perfect.

And who is to say we can improve on our feelings for a lost member of our family? No-one has that right.

It's a touching piece and it's definitely a step in the right direction to post it online.

I think far too often humans put faith in an answer to a question we don't fully understand in a bid to gain some sort of closure. I'm not religious at all but I believe in the existence of a God and I think he is a complete c**t.

I'm not saying he is to blame for all the s**t that goes on, and you're not saying that either, it's just he doesn't care. He leaves his children out on their own. Abandons them. Who the f**k leaves their child alone? No-one.

I hope that you can take this review positively and understand there are loads of people out there in your situation that can relate to you and offer you support.

[Kacee]

Haha. Well I am glad that you weren't offended by my brutal honesty. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my writing.

[Ragin Cajun]

Its painful to lose someone you love so much. You capture most peoples feelings with precision. Very well done.

[Distant horizons]

As an atheist, I hope that this doesn't condition your beliefs. As difficult as it is to lose a father, I have too, I feelthat in this write that you have lost your belief for this one reason. Although a good enough reason to find doubt, there may still remain a part of you that believes and if there is, it isn't a sleight on your fathers memory to renew that belief, just as it isn't a sleight on your god to doubt. Tragedy brings doubt, with doubt, comes understanding. Your words bring a true empathy for your loss and is as much a tribute to your father, as it is to you, for holding him in so high regard. It is all in what we think and feel, and our understanding in time, that we don't always know or understand lifes big picture.
But a wonderful and fitting tribute to your father it is. i'm sure he would be filled with pride to know the heart thatt went into this.

[Kacee]

Awe :D Thank you. Your words really mean alot. I sure hope he takes pride in me, because the suffering has been long and hard.

[YourMajesty2102]

I can definitely relate to this! you really chilled me to the bone!

[Kacee]

Thank you so much :D

[Pencrafter]

Your poem expresses deep feeling over the loss of your father. Your words and verses are easy to read and understand, giving us a sharp image of the pain and confusion. Death, for humans, is not a natural event. That's why it's so hard to handle. Our emotional reaction is to blame someone, usually God. Where religion frequently is disappointing and fails to do their job, our Creator did not want the human race to be in such a mess. Ok, I'll quit lecturing. You did a fine job on this poem.

[Kacee]

Thank you so much! I'm glad that someone doesn't think my poem is childish.

[Pencrafter]

Even if it was childish, I like kid's stuff also.