If I could

If I could I would spin your heart around just enough times to keep your mind from wandering

I would make you love me, harder than anyone's ever loved before

I would then proceed to drop you like a hot pocket

I would push you off the golden gate bridge just so you know how much it hurts to fall for someone like you

If I could I would feed your ego with lies like “I love you” and “I need you”

But I can't

I can't make you fall for someone you can’t seem to love

I can't make you open your heart enough for me to hurt you back

I can't tell you “I love you” and not mean it

So instead

Instead of plotting my revenge every night at 3 am

Instead of assuring myself I’ll feel better after you’ve felt my kind of pain

Instead of thinking that no one will ever fall in love with someone like me

I promise myself i’ll try to take care of me, more than anyone’s ever cared for me before

I’ll pick up all the broken pieces and not ty to fill in the missing with temporary solutions

I’ll find myself in places I never dreamed of being lost in

I’ll try to forgive those who do not understand

So thank you for opening up my heart and then proceeding to grind it up like it was Parmesan cheese

For helping me build higher walls, ones that not even the cleverest of fuckbois can climb

For telling me you loved me, and then for leaving me, for teaching me how to love on my own

Thank you

For helping me realize

That no matter who may pop into and out of my life

And if my walls come crumbling down around me

When men like you and so many others who promised to provide me some sort of wholehearted scaffolding leave me be

Thank you because past the rubble and and remains of it all

I think I’ve learned

To love myself

Author's Note

contains a single bad word

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked the tone and the directness of the poetry.
"I promise myself i’ll try to take care of me, more than anyone’s ever cared for me before
I’ll pick up all the broken pieces and not ty to fill in the missing with temporary solutions
I’ll find myself in places I never dreamed of being lost in
I’ll try to forgive those who do not understand "
The above lines. Logical and real life places and thoughts. Thank you Cat for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Cat]

Thank you for your thoughtful feedback :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome Cat.

[Phill Oz O'fee]

It is said: ‘… we learn from our experiences’! But as your composition highlights, in a failed relationship, why does it suck so much! Good freeform expressive write – really felt the emotional turmoil and intimate self-redemption.

[Cat]

Thank you! Im glad the emotion was well represented! :D

[The Iron Horseman]

The single most important lesson anyone can learn! Nicely done, Cat.

[Cat]

Thanks a lot! :D I'm still working on learning it