Sectando's Prison

I am an innocent man

What crime have I committed?

My future lost to leave me damned

Within Sectando's prison

My cell is familiar, have I been here before?

Four walls, a window and no door.

My cellmates sit upon a shelf, 

many former cons themselves

to leave their mark upon the world

and quote the writer nevermore.

I get three meals but seldom hunger

My thoughts inflict me so.

To ask the question, yes I wonder

Upon the cot of midnight's gaze,

No whisper of a single phrase

To free me from my woe.

Forgive me God, my evil deeds

My soul cannot recall.

I have no joy of simple things

I have no joy at all.

So shall I wait upon this cot

and paint the walls with dread.

To ponder or to ponder not,

my heart constricts with every thought

I'll sit until they free me from this

Prison in my head

Author's Note

Originally I had the following line written: "and quote the writer nevermore" in reference to "The Raven". It was pointed out to me that the correct word in the poem is "quoth", however the reference in the line is a play on words by Poe and is not intended to be exact. Further, it would not make sense to use "quoth" within the context. This is why I specifically chose to italicise the word "nevermore" versus the whole line, making use of the word more of a direct reference to Poe rather than the whole line.

Reviews

[MomzillaNC]

Terrifc poem… great meter and rhyme and evocative imagery. Very well done.

NOTES:
"and quote the writer nevermore." Referencing Poe, I think it should be [quoth] as that's the term used in the "Raven" It's "Quoth the Raven 'Nevermore.'”

[Sectando]

Ah..thank you for that correction and for your review. Greatly appreciated.

[MomzillaNC]

You're welcome. And, it wasn't exactly a "correction." It was a recommendation that I just thought was in keeping with the reference to Poe's line.

[Courtney Rose]

love this, very well done and great imagery

[Sectando]

Thank You, Courtney :)

[Courtney Rose]

no problem :)

[Cryingkate]

It's really very good. and sometimes way too real. You did a very good capture of this POV

I did see something that might be improved just slightly. the 3rd line from bottom ..
perhaps..
"my heart constricts and my mind shreds" might fit better??????? I don't normally say something like this unless the whole thing is so good that I need to be honest as can be.

[Sectando]

Thank you for taking the time to read and review it. I appreciate the input on the third line but I think I'll stick to the original because of the flow and word choice. Thanks Kate :)

[Cryingkate]

No problem....:-)

[Gummy.G]

This is beyond amazing. Great and I mean great rhyming. I love how you use Poe's Raven and mixed in your own.
Your descriptive and full of volume with your words. You use italics wisely and my favorite part, "Forgive me God, my evil deeds"
Thank you for sharing your work, please continue to do more ;)

[Sectando]

Thank you so much! :)

[C J Heyworth]

First, have you chosen Sectando deliberately as it signifies
"about to follow, pursue or chase"
and in Latin is the dative form of sectandus ?
It seems to me either by happenstance or deliberately you have labelled your own gloom as your failure so far to map out a future course which will satisfy you.
Momzilla is right too that "quoth" is the correct past tense third person singular of the verb "to quote". I think it is too doom-laden and just too well-known as coming from Poe's The Raven to be justified here.
As a lament of the "I'm Down - I'm Really Down !" variety it is perfectly clear, but if the writing is to help you escape the prison, more positive direction, a door to escape through, is what is required - burst forth into the green grass, fresh air and colourful wildlife in closing - merely writing of leaves, birds and the breeze on your face will help to release the prisoner you feel that you have become.
Hope that helps.
I do not do RATINGS - monstrous cheek I feel.

[Sectando]

Yes I did choose the name deliberately. The writing is in response to depression which can not be helped and thus feels like imprisonment. I do agree that bursting forth into the green grass and a more positive direction would probably be better as an escape and I may try in the future, however these feelings are mostly what I know and so I chose to walk a familiar path. Thank you for your review, much appreciated!

[mikayla baldwin]

i love the way you use rhyming to create a rhythm throughout the poem. it's kind of a bitter sweet feeling reading this because of the happy tempo and darker, but rather intelligent, diction. i also love the poe reference.

[Sectando]

Thank you, Mikayla :)

[uNmAsKeD-dEluSiOns]

AMAZING Work :) Theres not one thing I would change. For one it's relatable I can really feel it, It has such great rhythm and great word choice and rhyming words. This really grips the reader and pulls them into the setting- at least for me I could really visualize everything. "My soul cannot recall.
I have no joy of simple things, I have no joy at all." This was very good. Also, "To Ponder or to ponder not". Oh and I can't forget- "Four walls, a window and no door" Perfect way to describe it. Wow I am so glad I read this. Such a great writer :)

[Sectando]

Oh wow, I can't thank you enough. I'm glad you enjoyed it and to hear your feedback. Thank you!

[uNmAsKeD-dEluSiOns]

Of course, any time :)

[Lyn Anderson]

Great metre and rhyme, wonderful timing, and a poignant look at the personal hell we can create.

[Sectando]

Thank You!

[Ellizabella Dunnmore]

Beautifully written. Great reference to Poe there! Very inspiring and loved the last line! :)

[Sectando]

Thank You Elizabella for your kind words :)

[Ellizabella Dunnmore]

You're welcome!

[The Black Warrior]

Well a very good poem LOL

[Sectando]

LOL you changed your mind? =P

[The Black Warrior]

No, I never change my mind; I just improve my review LOL

Nah, I thought that "pretty good" sounds like I'm saying that the poem is alright and it is not "alright" it is very good, right to the point and is mind captivating.

[Sectando]

lol thanks I appreciate it ;)

[The Black Warrior]

This is a pretty good poem, very captivating. I enjoyed it!

[Sectando]

Thank you for the review