Emily's Explosion

The theme was "EXPLOSION OF MIRRORS" given by another person.

When Emily was nine, Sunday involved her being unceremoniously carted off to Sunday school at the local church. Even at such an early age Emily knew she despised everything about Sunday School.

‘For, whatever is the point of it?’ She thought. 

Emily remembers questioning the validity of the stories she was being spoon fed by over friendly ladies who always had a bible within easy reach.  Bored whilst at Sunday school Emily was routinely accused of creating trouble which in turn caused the friendly ladies to become not so friendly. 

‘Heaven forbid’, Emily thought, ‘it is Sunday! Classroom behaviour should only be reserved for normal school. Surely the Heavenly Father would agree.’ 

On the grand occasion of Emily’s first holy communion the priest placed the round tasteless wafer on Emily’s tongue and said, ‘Body of Christ’. Because she was nine, Emily felt compelled to say Amen, all the other kids were saying it, so bowing to consensus she said this too. Emily screwed up her face and had to distract her thoughts when she came to thinking about which part of christ’s body it was. 

‘Could I be stuck down for being blasphemous at even thinking such things?’ She wondered. 

The celebrations for Emily now having been communed with god carried on back at her house where Emily, who was never the girly type, was told by her mother ‘no you cannot get changed out of that outfit, we paid a lot of money for that.’ 

Emily begrudgingly kept her white satin dress on with matching frilly lace socks pulled up to her knees. She was playing football in the yard with her brother when her dad approached her and took her aside and say, ‘if you ever get sick of being a Catholic, just change to whatever makes you feel good.’

She looked up at her father, whom she loved and respected dearly for all of the knowledge and time he had already passed over to her and gave him a quizzical look. 

Emily immediately thought, ‘so what the heck did I just spend the last three months at Sunday school for?’ 

To which her father responded without her even uttering one word of her internal thoughts, ‘there are many religions out there, look at me I’m supposed to be Anglican, well, so my mother told me. Being of a scientific mind I think it’s better to explore the world and humanity through your own eyes and arrive at your own conclusions.’

This was a resounding piece of advice nine year old Emily needed to hear and in that moment she was both perplexed and full of wonder.

Eighteen year old Emily was a different girl, no more lacy frills. Instead you’d find her with sweat forming pools between her breasts, in a halter neck top, squeeze a*s hot pants on top of a podium at her favourite night club most nights of the week. Eighteen year old Emily had fallen into a crowd who partied hard and and instead of ordering cocktails at the bar, had cocktails of drugs as preferred choice. Speed, cocaine, ecstasy, acid, weed, uppers, downers and even horse tranquilliser on one occasion had all been consumed by Emily.

She found in drugs a new open hearted and open minded way of life. The ecstasy emitted love, the uppers kept her going, the horse tranquilliser made her vomit and say ‘never again’, the coke kept her talking and inspired. The weed and acid transported her to a place she could only call religious. The cocktail of the whole lot only ever assured her that she could in fact solve all the problems of the world and in her ever changing mind states she met her higher consciousness. 

Throughout her twenties Emily dated many men from all different creeds and many diverse backgrounds. At this stage in her life, she was not ready to settle. Something in the back of her mind constantly reminded her that this one chance at life is full of wonder and at any cost she must keep going in search of it. 

Langa was Emily’s six foot Zulu boyfriend, they were together a good six months. Langa had been raised as a Christian. Langa was smart and enjoying his university life but he struggled with the concept of religion. This was because Zulu’s ancient beliefs, before white people came with their own god to South Africa, relied on the spirits for guidance. Langa was like Emily, searching, but unsure of what for. 

Daniel was Jewish. He wasn’t that Jewish that he would not have sex with Emily, but Jewish enough not to ever introduce religious free Emily to his mother. Because of this fact, Emily would never be marriage material for Daniel. Emily did however sink herself into the rich and unforgiving history of the Jewish people during her time with Daniel. Having said that, the understanding of why Jewish people were the chosen people (by god himself) never offered any clarity to Emily.

She enjoyed very much her time with Raju from Mumbai who she befriended at the gym. Emily will never forget Raju’s chiselled abdomen. This man, Raju, introduced an eager to learn Emily to both Hinduism and Kundalini. Of course the sex was literally out of this world. Raju fine tuned Emily’s orgasms all whilst introducing her to just a hand full of the thirty million or so gods the Hindu world refers to as their very own guiding sources. 

Not to forget Ngarra, who was not a boyfriend but a dear friend to Emily. He was an indigenous elder Emily found herself deeply drawn to. Ngarra was much older and considered one of the more respected elders in the area. His laugh was a deep bellow seemingly coming from the interior of the rainbow serpent itself. His deep brown eyes peeked through his shaggy grey speckled hair emitted deep wisdoms Emily wished she could tap into. Emily admired Ngarra’s full of punch lips and hung on every word he uttered for a very long time. Ngarra taught Emily of the dreamtime, dadirri and ultimate connectedness of the earth. He and Emily parted ways one day when Ngarra said a simple ‘gotta go walkabout Emily, see you sometime.’ 

In her sadness that Ngarra had gone Emily remembered the long ago conversation with her father,

I think it’s better to explore the world and humanity through your own eyes, Emily realised she had been doing just that and slowly the furniture of her own reality was ever so slightly being shaped.

In an attempt to analyse her life through a magnifying glass, Emily took herself off to a Vispassana ten day silent meditation where she was not allow to look at or touch anyone, she was not allowed to read or write or eat meat. She was not allowed to practise yoga or any rigorous exercise. She was however, allowed to sit in a great hall and meditate for minimum ten hours per day, focusing on the tip of her nose and the continuity of her breath.

Finding answers to long lost questions that Emily didn’t think needed answering, Vispassana was a happy triumph for Emily but still she found herself asking ‘okay, now what?’ 

So Emily travelled. With a brand new red back pack slung over her shoulder she waved Australia goodbye and headed out into the big wide world. She visited the home of her ancestors in Scotland but not missing Ireland and England. She caught the Chunnel to France and hopped around Europe on he Shenken Visa. She crossed to the Middle East and feasted in every quarter of Jerusalem. She climbed Mt Sinai in the wee hours of the morning on her own little pilgramage. Jutting over to India she skated from Trivandrum in the South where she noted the Catholicism to Hampi and Mysore where she stumbled upon Jainism and of course Hinduism, further north in Mumbai she found a tiny pool of Judaism where she snapped a few pictures of the synagogue and sent them to Daniel. Also in Mumbai she discovered the Parsi’s, Zoroastrians and she took herself for a walk down the historically dodgy Mohammad Ali road more than once to sink into the early morning Muslim prayers.

Further North was the land if the Sikh’s. Whilst there Emily stayed in Sikh temples and enjoyed the incredibly warm and open hearted welcome of the Sikh’s themselves. Crossing into Nepal, Emily hung out in monasteries, she even trekked to Tengboche at four thousand meters high to sit in on the monks prayers and trumpeting. 

It was a whirlwind trip and on arriving home Emily felt herself to be the most lost and alone she had ever felt, ‘which is strange’, she thought. 

Emily had gathered up a million or more experiences from her bursting life, she had travelled the world and met incredible people in every destination along the way. At that moment, on the sofa in parents house she still didn’t understand what any of it was for. 

Emily settled back into routine quickly once she arrived home. Never one to sit around and feel sorry for herself. Emily was quick to reignite friendships and even quicker to find her own place to live. 

After signing the lease on a city fringe one bedroom apartment Emily hired a truck, gathered everything from her storage cell and set about the job of moving in to her new home. 

The weekend after Emily had moved in, she decided to hang pictures and mirrors to complete the settling in process. It was when Emily had hammered two nails into the wall to hang her favourite mirror she somehow managed to instead of securing the string to to the nails behind the mirror, she instead dropped the mirror on on the tiled floor. The mirror shattered into thousand of tiny pieces. 

Having no shoes on and being in shock Emily took stock of her surroundings to figure out what kind of a mess she had presented herself with. For no apparent reason to Emily, she burst into tears, overcome with emotion that had sat I the reserves for many a year. Tears gushed down her face and wet her shirt. She sat, face in hands on and in amongst the shattered glass. She cried and questioned the validity of why she was crying. With a start, she stopped. A thought came to her �" all those years ago, back in Sunday school, Emily had questioned the validity of the stories from Sunday school. 

Slowly she calmed herself, snuffled her nose and wiped her eyes on her t-shirt. As soon as she did she a thought from what later Emily would describe as the whispers of eternity came clear to her mind. ‘Life is like an explosion of mirrors, everything in life, every person in life, has it’s own interpretation and all interpretations reflect back on one another. Everything and everyone has at some point come from the same place of existence reflecting out into life itself. Existence is like falling into the cracks of the exploded mirror fragments. All of us are trying, with open or closed eyes, to find our way back to where the light always shines.’ 

Emily, throughout her life, had always written important thoughts down. This particular thought, she thought, was an epiphany and it would be very important for her to write it down as soon as possible. 

Unfortunately, as Emily rose from the explosion of her very own mirror, she stood on a shard of glass which cut deep into her foot. Blood splattered and squirted all over the white tiles with the glass still lodged deep in her skin. Emily very quickly became surrounded in a pool of blood. In her desperation to pull the glass of her foot out and stem the blood she slipped on the tiles again, this time a large shard of her mirror ended up in her upper thigh. Within seconds, there was blood everywhere. Emily knew instantly the glass had cut a major artery. She had to act quick.

Not even ever knowing how, Emily called an ambulance. By the time it had arrived she had passed out from lack of blood. When Emily awoke she was in the ICU with a bunch of concerned doctors standing around her. It took Emily forever to convince the doctors she had not tried to take he own life. 

Weeks later, back at home in her now free from blood apartment, Emily recounted the day as she knew she had to remember the thought about the exploding mirrors and write it down. She sat with pen in hand for many an hour, cup of tea at her side, trying to remember. When that didn’t work, Emily partook in a glass of whisky, this usually stimulated her writing. 

Nothing at all was offered from her thoughts.

Prologue 

Years will pass for Emily, she may or may not get married or have children, she may or may not find a fascinating career, she will probably travel again, she will always make time for friends and more life stories. Emily will always listen to her dad and curl up beside her mum on their sofa �"  but I wonder, will Emily ever stop the search and just being to live, right here in the present? 

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed her story and I liked her decisions my dear friend.
"Years will pass for Emily, she may or may not get married or have children, she may or may not find a fascinating career, she will probably travel again, she will always make time for friends and more life stories. Emily will always listen to her dad and curl up beside her mum on their sofa �" but I wonder, will Emily ever stop the search and just being to live, right here in the present?"
I did like the closing lines and I believe. We become, who we want to be. Thank you for sharing the entertaining story.
Coyote

[Einstein Noodle]

interesting ..love the prologue as well as following Emily through her quest .. as children we behave as children ... when we accept the responsibility for our lives we put aside the child .. her perceptions of the teachings of the Catholic Church are reflected in her young age ... I love how you have given proper names to her "boyfriends" as she is exposed to many different beliefs .. I like the format .. its almost like a travel log both physical, mental and spiritual .. all of it a search .. I wonder what will become of her ;)
E.

[KWP]

Hey E - thanks for the loooooong read :D

This was a CALL for mine and Donna's Blog - Mali gave us the challenge of 'An Explosion of Mirrors' and this is what came forward.

Nice pic by the way XXX

[Einstein Noodle]

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[wordman]

great story my friend and i think a lot of us can relate