unbreathe

gasping for air 

life of mediocrity 

I choke 

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is a surprisingly strong statement for the haiku/senryu form. Usually I think of these poems as being lighter than air, but instead you take it in an unexpected direction. I find it interesting that mediocrity is the thing that stifles here. I think most people are mediocre, even those who are pretending to be something more than that. I find mediocrity stifling, too, but your poem somehow showed me how unfair that attitude is of me, since this rules out most people. I don't like most people. It's a hard thing to admit. It's striking for such a short poem to provoke such a diatribe! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Einstein Noodle]

my breath is stuck in me throat ... strong connection of title and senryu-like poem ... i want to tell your speaker "GET UP! GO INTO THE WILDERNESS.....the gery will turn to colors before your very eyes ;)) nicely done KWP ... very different subject for the form says i .. so human and emotive this choking i feel
E.

[Gee]

Are you stuck in a rut my dear, shall I come rescue you ??
Post Christmas blues ?? A good cure, book a holiday, or even better several. I'm off to sunny Tenerife in 5 werks, then Eire beginning of April, then the 650KM bike ride around Bordeaux in May, and then in July off to Portugal. Hopefully there will be a couple more jaunts later on in the year.....fancy tagging along :))

[KWP]

well of course - why not - today I was sitting reading me some ancient Chinese poetry and a koala just upped himself in the tree right next me to say hello - hmmm a rut I am not in - I don't really do the whole rut thing that well because I am usually bisecting at the seams with some kind of 'in my own mind carry own' - you send like you are off to an excellent start - go you!

I am currently in North Stradbroke Island - saw two sharks swimming in the ocean today - then I saw two giant turtles - I am simply chuffed man!!!

[Gee]

JEALOUS.....I'm looking at the pooch snoring on the couch next to me, probably dreaming of our soon to be had walk over in the woods.
Have a great evening ( ??)

[KWP]

yes it's almost 5:30 here and its 28 degrees :)

[Gee]

It's 07:25 here and, excuse my French, f*****g freezing :((

[Coyote Poetry]

Every words, useful and meaningful. Thank you my friend for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[jacob erin-cilberto]

so true how we can totally choke on mediocrity...wishing we had the courage to strive for so much more...
nicely expressed...
j.

[Diane]

I hate the feeling of choking. Not getting to take air in. Made me react just reading it.