You made the words dance perfectly.
"allow me to shine
just one more time
rise up with my love
to share and to shine"
I liked the above lines. When someone make us shine. This is wonderful. Thank you dear friend for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote
I like some of the consonance you slip in there. You took a big liberty by omitting some words like when you said "your radiance completes" and then omitting "me." There are lots of strong descriptors in there, and I love your anaphora with "allow me to shine." The progression of the poem is pretty. I interpret it as an interesting plea for a lover to come back. Good job.
Tender, Kind, and loving write flow was great in me sight, You are bless with a pen keep on writing my dear friend, will take time to read more of your works Your outstanding writer I must say, you are special in every why, your words of love so elegant bringing on a smile to start my Sunday Morning, with wondering effects the sun is bright its an early spring day in the northern hemisphere I'm looking for brighter season where my writing takes off into the spring and summer skies but I'm still blessing you for your talents of writing and this certainly caught me eyes.
wow, love this. learning hard love lessons teaches us to be unselfish...
I was selfish in love before...and i see that this theme is so true...
i wanted second chances...unfortunately we most often don't get them...but learn from the experiences.
and i just cheered at your use of "disheveled" as a verb...nicely done, KWP..
j.
This one was a beauty KWP. It was a soft beg for something we take for granted at most times. Asking for strength to outshine the darkness. Unselfishly none the less. Well done.
I love the repetition of "allow me to shine just one more time," because this is actually something I was thinking about today and reading this and seeing this phrase repeated made me realize that I'm not alone in this struggle. So thank you for making my day a little better, because it has been pretty rough :)
Truly one of the most appealing prayers I've ever read. This is exquisite. I love it most of all becuz you depict life as multi-dimensional & full of contrasts. You convey the anguish of having made bad mistakes & having regrets, yet there's no wallowing. It's mostly an upbeat message that serves as an example of how it feels to have a real working relationship with whatever divine power one chooses (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie
Posted 6 Years Ago
6 Years Ago
oh that's nice thanks BG :) I was having a moment - my friend (truly good friend) told me to get ove.. read moreoh that's nice thanks BG :) I was having a moment - my friend (truly good friend) told me to get over it - I did :D
'The kernel, the soul — let us go further and say the substance, the bulk, the actual and valuable material of all human utterances — is plagiarism. For substantially all ideas are sec.. more..