As the Cavity Festers and Dies

my heart was big 

bursting 

every direction 

for love was never a ticketed line 

within me 

and then you 

a look 

a touch 

the moments shared

you smothered the rhythmic pulse 

cutting of the intake 

you took it all for yourself 

leaving me

beating wild with misplaced fervour 

you held it high 

my heart 

like a trophy 

you knew it was yours to keep

my naivety gave it away 

the once blissful 

patterned pulse 

creating my life’s equilibrium 

was gone 

unselfishly you consumed my heart 

devoured

sucked every last murmur as

a gift to yourself 

for now I 

can only stare down at the vacant cavity 

it’s festering

and this was your gift to me 

Reviews

[Nipplegrinder]

A difficult read, this one. It's good, mind you, but difficult, because I've been there.

[Ardra]

unselfishly you consumed my heart
devoured
sucked every last murmur as
a gift to yourself

Mmm I wonder what they get out of it....
Taking it all away...and then it's just the hollow
Almost feel like they sucked our soul out of its light....I love your creations...they speak to me on a soul level....

[Ghost]

Wow such a strong impression of how it is to be drained of life and love... This was a good write thank you for sharing it...

[Einstein Noodle]

man...such a clear cut image KWP ...well done ... the innocent butterfly captured and held so all its powder is rubbed off...wings tearing raggedly in the grasp and falling spent on the ground...you inspire me ...men, for the most part do this sort of thing tho i have met a woman who was just like that too ...feeding off the wellspring with disregard and then tripping on down the road singing their happy little trampling song ... great stuff...your unique style shines bright in this one says i!
E.

[wordman]

he broke your heart,a damage for life. but i bet he really didn`t mean to

[Davidgeo]

I'm not sure if this is about a good thing or a terrible thing. Probably not a good thing.

But if I do a little mental gymnastics I can find a positive spin to this.

Of course, that all depends on how you value things. Is it the love you once had that you long for or do you appreciate the open space to love again in a different way? (I'm probably stretching a little too much with that interpretation)

It's very good though; anything that makes the reader think and feel in an ambiguous way but still an organized way is a sign of an excellent idea and execution.

[KWP]

Of course it’s a good thing - it’s all a good thing if you look at it the right way :-)

I am currently experimenting with a free form tapping into emotion. Pick an emotion and try to write about it from a deep seeded perspective. I’ve chosen lost love as anne say route. Sometimes I read poems of lost live and it truly want to slap the person who wrote it. I am trying to make it as human as possible. Stripping down to the barest and exposing all ... I need a new emotion now ... hmmm lemme think 🤔

Thanks btw - for alway making me think X

[Davidgeo]

I am very familiar with the style you're experimenting with. The hardest part for me is finding the right prompt for whatever mood I'd happen to be in at that moment. Usually I use music I never listened to before but sometimes (and what works far better) I'd use text's that were the complete opposite of my disposition. It always turned out boring when I used things that I agreed with as a prompt. Using what you agree with as source material is akin to masturbation in my opinion. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but you can't expect too much from it in terms of creative inspiration.

I think you're on the right track though... but do let me know if you'd like something to chew on... I have lots and lots of prompts for that sort of thing.

[KWP]

Yes - I totally agree with everything you have just said ...it’s the tapping in - once you are in its a free flow ....

YES PLEASE send me some prompts - funnily enough I was going to ask you nut for some reason which I cannot remember now I didn’t ... I’m in a good headspace for this s**t right now - lay it on me baby!

[Davidgeo]

Yes... outstanding... now we're getting somewhere. But it's not that simple exactly, you and I are already pretty oppo to begin with. I must feel you a little bit first before I get specific (like, page and paragraph specific)... How do you feel the following authors... Thomas Merton, C Wright Mills, Jean Baudrillard, Chuck Palahniuk and good old Freddy Nietzsche?

[Davidgeo]

(a simple "I like" or "I dislike" will suffice)

[KWP]

MERTON - like
Nietzche - like
Baudrillard - got acquainted with thru you the other day - interesting argument he proposed in that
Palahnuik - never heard of but will check him out now

you wanna feel some more ?

[KWP]

oh that’s who the big P is - yes I like !

In fact, something I realised about myself ust nowthe other day was that I force situations, which in turn creates chnage... this reminded me of Fight Club j

[Davidgeo]

You and I aren't so different afterall.

Give me a day, I'll have for you more than you probably wanted. I don't won't to give the same things that I use, so, I'm gonna have to do a little diligence. I refuse to make you a clone of me.

I was always going to go heavy on Alex Solzhenitsyn (gulag archipelago) for you, it was all lined up in my mind and why I didn't mention him at all... I just didn't know you'd like all the others. I gotta match these "clothes" up so to speak. Otherwise I'd just be setting you up to sound like me. That's just not fair to anybody, especially whoever reads our bullshit.

[KWP]

That’s so funny that you think I am weak enough to be cloned !!!

Ok yes - send me what you got but not Dave clothes - especiLLy unwashed.

[Davidgeo]

I don't think you're weak. I just know that anyone can be swayed by those writers when talked about in a certain way. I am not oblivious to the power those writers have when referenced in certain ways.

If I really wanted to be a manipulative dick I'd just talk about TS Eliot in a certain order in a certain context.

[Davidgeo]

"I will show you fear in a handful of dust"

[KWP]

Well then - lay it on me baby Xx

[Davidgeo]

I want to juxtapose Thomas Merton's "The Way of Chaung Tzu" with specific passages from Solzhenitsyn's 'Gulag Archipelago'. But because I'm not on Kangaroo time (it's 3:30 am for me) we're gonna have to do this tomorrow. I'm pretty sure this is going to be a good time...

[KWP]

See you out there ...

[Davidgeo]

You might regret this. Basically what we will be doing is collaborating... I really am quite unpleasant when creating. Just don't take it personal no matter what occurs.

[KWP]

Oooh even better ... let me observe your distaste at what I create .... sounds kinda perfext X