Hot Diggity

now for some serious stuff

Yesterday I ate six hotdogs 

with bacon bits and grilled onions, 

mustard of course, and ketchup too. 

I didn’t feel so good after that, 

when I reached home 

I lay on the cold tiles of my bathroom 

pressing my cheeks against the floor long enough to 

leave criss-cross imprints on my face.

My stomach tumbled over like 

a mudslide with no destination. 

All the while 

the hot dogs regained life 

they were crawling back up my throat 

burning it as they went. 

When my boyfriend came home 

he witnessed a dithering mess 

pushing in and out of consciousness 

hanging limply off the lip of the toilet seat. 

‘How many today?’ He asked. 

 

Unable to form words I held 

six fingers up. 

Sweat beads rolled down my forehead. 

Shaking his head he left, 

he’d seen it all before. 

Once a year in fact - 

he never realised, each year I did it for him, 

for the prize, 

yes the prize for eating 

‘Six hotdogs faster than anyone else -

FREE HOTDOGS FOR A YEAR!’

When we first met, 

my boyfriend told me 

that if he could eat hotdogs 

every day for the rest of his life, 

then, 

his life would be complete. 

Ah, maybe next year! 

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahahaha you mean you lost???? oh noooooooo such a sacrificial lamb ;)
E.
ps. have to admit those hot dogs sound pretty good ...yummy ..bacon bits mmmmmmmmmmmm!

[KWP]

you know what - I love bacon bits - gave them up when I met Moshe - no pork for me - don't miss it must admit - well except when I get a whiff of bacon.

[Einstein Noodle]

bacon can be one's demise no matter how high our resistance level is ...God bless you for joining Moshe ... Norma has gout and is not supposed to eat pork ... but of course it is a big part of her Italian heritage ... i can usually either take it or leave it ...

[Davidgeo]

It's an odd way to write about sacrifice. I love it.

Try not to use ketchup next time... maybe it's my Chicago roots talking right now, but, god damn it, a good hot dog requires no ketchup.

[KWP]

How about BBQ sauce and onions then - admittedly my only real exposure to hotdogs was at 4:00am heading home from a nightclub back in the day :D

[Davidgeo]

BBQ and onions are specific ingredients that will make any kind of baked beans taste delicious. There is a place in Memphis Tennessee called Rendezvous. Best BBQ in the states (arguably of course). They do ship bottles of all kinds of legendary BBQ sauce. . . https://www.hogsfly.com/

I'd feel like a foodie snob right now but, it's f*****g barbeque sauce. . . high-low class.

[KWP]

hahaha - you gotta be a wanker if you don't appreciate BBQ sauce !

[KWP]

that place does nachos - it's already a winner in my book!

[Davidgeo]

Their nacho appetizer sucks.

[KWP]

hahaha ok ... will take your word ... X