Cane Toads and My Mother

I think of cane toads 

when memories of my mother 

sneak through the pigeon holes of my life, 

bringing with them the 

smell of rain on the fields

prompting an orchestral croak. 

Perhaps my mother became the cane field conductor,

if only to remind me she was near. 

She always felt near.

Cane toads are what I think of,

instead of an image of my mother. 

That’s okay, 

Cane toads can be beautiful too, 

just like I imagine her to have been.

Young enough for memories of her 

to dissipate like a rainbow after a tropical storm, 

and yet old enough realise the incredible depth of 

the unfillable hole in our 

little family life.

My father descended down that hole.

Cane toads, 

the squashed ones on the road, 

quite often became frisbees in the game of 

long distance amphibian throwing.

My mother would have joined us in that game.

So my father tells me through his red-veined eyes, 

metered only by the intake of whiskey. 

It’s funny how when I think of cane toads

the following thought is of my mother.

Maybe it’s because my mother too loved the night, 

pointing to the first star, then the Southern Cross, 

making binoculars with her hands to wrap them over my eyes and

just like my mother, the stars became bright. 

Or perhaps it is because she too, just like the cane toads, loved the rain.

I have dreams of my mother dancing in the rain, 

Never quite certain it’s her,

if my mother wants to dance in my dreams in the rain, 

the position belongs only to her.

Little stories passed down from my father in the shadows of insobriety.

My mother and cane toads, 

a funny combination.
A truck can take away the life of a cane toad in seconds. 

And so too …

Reviews

[Tom]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

Though she left you much,much to soon, in that special shared time together, your mother has imparted in you, her love of nature and the great outdoors, and still, even after the passage of time, she speaks to you yet, through the night-time music of the cane toad!

A touching and heartfelt reminiscence!

[emmajoy]

Why does a toad have such beautiful memories,how can such an ugly creature hold so much for such a poet as you, dear E!?? Eureka!

' Cane toads can be beautiful too, ~ just like I imagine her to have been. ~ Young enough for memories of her _ to dissipate like a rainbow after a tropical storm, ~ and yet old enough realise the incredible depth of ~ the unfillable hole in our ~ little family life...'

You've turned your memories - some sad, some open yet scarring - into a divinity of love.. truly have. Your mother has completion here. Had to pause half through, catch my breath, wipe my right eye because.. you brought a fragmented past to life. Your mother's presence is so strongly yet gently included with the convoluted existence of a cane toad! Your poem's balanced in a world of a child's history. Yours? As for those final phrases.. could that last one mean.. .. .. ?

Brilliant story-telling wrapped in the finest poetry.

[ROXANE DORSEY]

Nice poem. I enjoyed reading it and thanks for sharing.

[pia]

this was so unusually beautiful and heart touching. the innocence and love is well radiated through out !!
even the simplest of things can trigger our memories and make me remember our loved ones !!! the way you made me picture your imagery was so sweet and wonderful!!!
i really shows the love you have for her
Im sure your mother would be proud of you and your writes. this made me so sad yet happy that you can remember her in such a beautiful way.
the ending really gave me a sinking feeling. made me wanna hold on to my mom and never let go.
losing a parent is awful. you wish you luck and strength !!! this was amazingly written

[Einstein Noodle]

cane toads are not the most attractive of toads are they?! ... but i hear them out in the fields and experience the dance with mom ...something recurring to bring the memories fresh and our loved ones kept alive in our memories ... so tragic when death is sudden and unexpected .. i feel the sadness you have written into this poem KWP .. and the contrast of "dad" who has retreated into insobriety .. more tragic still ...nice work .. personal and all too universal ..easily slipped into it :(
E.

[wordman]

a terrible tragedy,it`s good that the cane toads can put a smile on your face,it brings your mother
a little closer to you,and who knows,maybe
she planed it that way

[jacob erin-cilberto]

maybe a funny combination..but the oddest things make us think of loved ones....

i see pictures of Vermont and remember the falls there...and my mom in her pendelton jacket...

she was beautiful when she was younger---looked like an actress from the 30's----

i love this poem....

[sinNsincerity]

Thanks for allowing me to go down the hole as well. Nice timing, I was just reading about the Beelzebufo toad that ate dinosaurs.

[KWP]

i am going to have to check the Beezlebufu Fellow out X