Kal

this was an exercise for an introduction to a book

Kal had checked her Louis Vuitton luggage in faster than expected considering it was peak hour Monday morning at Cape Town airport. In her already detached state of mind she barely even noticed her bags whisked away on the conveyor belt. The continual buzz of service announcements became an indecipherable almost meditative hum in the back of her mind. She paid no regard to the bored looking guard or the wand he waved passively over her body as she passed through the metal detector, and she had not given any attention at all to the purpose driven businessmen and women zipping their way impatiently through ticket lines and security checks to fly in and out of the country. It was only a few weeks ago she herself had been caught up in the same all too consuming and frantically paced business mode. Not anymore though. Right now Kal found herself seated alone, on an overly tall black and chrome stool in the airport bar. Not another customer in sight. Perhaps, she thought, seven thirty in the morning was too early for most people to order a glass of the best champagne in the house. It wasn’t too early for Kal, not today. Nor was it too early for the barman to flash a sparkling smile her way and attempt at conversation. He was flirting. Men openly flirting was something Kal had become accustomed to throughout her life. Timeless classic brunette beauty is what she possessed, well, that's what people had told her time and again. Kal noticed the barman’s playful mood, but like everything else this morning she didn’t give it another thought and instead watched the bubbles rise and pop, rise and pop on the inside of her frosted champagne flute. The bubbles, she thought, were escaping their fluid confines, and once popped, they were no more. Staring blank-faced at the golden liquid inside her glass Kal found herself envying the tiny beads of sweet smelling air surfacing then departing in the quickest of succession. If only she could just disappear. Pop and she'd be gone, just like the bubbles.

Author's Note

I would love your honest thoughts and feedback - love ya's all X

Reviews

[alanwgraham]

A bit of a tease here! Why champange? Why today? Lots of questions - no answers!
Spil; the beans please.
Regards Alan

[KWP]

hey Alan :) cheers for the read my friend ... yeah well that was an exercise for a writing course I was doing ... since then my thoughts have travelled elsewhere so goodness only knows what happened to that one ;)

[Shannon]

I love the scale of this things you chose to include. Luggage, planes, line ups, people. But the story was really about the tiny little, fragile bubbles.

[KWP]

hey there :) your review which has come out of nowhere has inspired me to sit my backside down and write - thank you so much :DDDDD

[Shannon]

I am so glad to here that! I honestly want to read the things people who are still active post. So I may occasionally randomly click on people who are doing stuff online.

[David Scott]

Be careful what you wish for... thinking this book is an action thriller/mystery.
A very nice hook to open a book.

[KWP]

ha - I was thinking more of a chick lit - but there you go :D

thanks so kindly for all your input - you have an interesting mind, so the different viewpoint is always most welcome XX

[daninstockholm]

it's good, quite good, but I want the rest, too many questions!!

[Einstein Noodle]

I'm intrigued ... want to know more about her and her mission .. some of the sentences seem just a tad "run-on" but the story line keeps moving ... thats all i got for ya KW! ;) the scene is easily conjured for anyone who has been in an airport early or late ..those bar stools are exactly so and the bar either empty of with one or two others who leave quickly .. good start says i .. like i said ..i want to know more!
E.

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

It's a good prologue for a story, KWP. Good description of the surroundings and it's also a bit mysterious. What is that woman doing so early, drinking champagne, at the airport. It makes you wonder. I surely would want to read the next chapter. Well done. :) Rudi

[Valentine]

You might shorten your sentences as they run on a bit. Valentine

[Wrenlane]

Well here I am again…back at the trough to nibble on the tasty breadcrumbs that you so tantalizingly offer! Where’s the Beef? I thought it lovely, teasing in a mysterious sort of way, yet intriguing and left me wanting more, and obviously, that is what and intro should do! I can see this lovely brunette beauty sitting there at the bar sipping her Champaign at seven thirty in the morning but it leaves me wondering so much! Was she in a celebratory frame of mind due to a recent self-satisfying accomplishment? Had she reached for and grasped the proverbial brass ring…or was she depressed over a recent pitfall in her personal or professional life that set this scene…as she sat there watching the bubbles, surface, pop and disappear wishing she could emulate them and do the same? A lot of questions here KWP, howbeit…only you have the answers. Write on!

[ANTO]

My thoughts: you described her perfectly and her current mentality and situation and much more really well and made me want to read more but that caused a conflict in me cuase Im a dude !! KwP !!

[KWP]

Hello Sunshine and happy new year to you :) Yesh you are dude indeedy - sorry to tell you I think you are one of those warm, soft and squishy ones (every gals dream). I know you don't like reading stories so for this I thank you - you are a delight - Love to Ya X

[BL]

A great introduction that sets up the story well, you have laid out all the detail and now it is ready to move forward. I wanted just a little more at the end, which is good and had a couple of questions in my head. RR me if you write more.

[KWP]

Oh why thank you so much :) so nice of you to read. This was an exercise for a recent course I did, it was also the start of an actual novel - however since I have learnt about structure I have scapped all eighty thousand words to start afresh - I need good honest feedback like yours to improve - thanks so much X