The Fine Art Of Leaving Without A Trace

thoughts welcomed XXX

Leave a lasting impression they say 

I think not 

Instead perhaps 

I shall leave as I came 

owing nothing to this world.

I am the crystallised icicle liquefying, 

drip, drop

on a heated, sun filled pre-spring day 

I am the spring blossom exploding with vitality 

waiting to collapse and shrivel away 

I am the trickle in the river of eternity 

embracing the ebb and the flow

I am the tear-drop on your cheek my love 

soon I shall evaporate and go

I am the placid breeze just fleeting through 

kissing at life without a trace 

I am the folds within the everywhen 

and it is evanescence I embrace 

I am the rabbit in the magician's hat  - 

Poof! - I am no more

As I imprint my essence upon a distant wave 

never to be washed ashore ....

Author's Note

this was the task:


Developing the Focused Image System

Write a poem in which you limit all of your figures of speech refer to a general thematic unity—perhaps they’re all insect-related, all engineering principles, or connected to desert ecologies.

Reviews

[None]

Beautifully written!!! Well balanced polarity that reveals the hidden mystery of this life in this well presented paradox...

[alifeacoustic]

This is simply beautiful, from first to last it paints vivid images in the mind of what such delicate balance in life and in nature entails, softly spoken, for fear of leaving an imprint on the thought that carried them to you. I think the title here captivated me the most. I am a big believer in leaving the way you came, which comes in quite handy as I am also a minimalist and don't collect unnecessary things or buy things with excess packaging. I think all we can hope for in death is that people smile when they think of us. That is remembrance enough.
beautiful write, so full of delicious lines. Great job.

[Sally Hope]

"I am the rabbit in the magician's hat -
Poof! - I am no more."
These lines are just so beautiful! And the best part is, it's the simplest and the most accurate comparison, at the same time. This poem is really, REALLY beautiful. You should be proud of it.
As for its theme: Your opinions apparently vary vastly from mine :) I do believe in lasting impressions, for that's all we shall ever be remembered for, if at all. And the art of leaving with a trace that will be remembered long after you're gone is so much more finer than leaving without a trace. However, the line: "...owing nothing to this world" is equally justifying of what you're trying to say. So, this is my conclusion: Neither of us can ever be certain of what the oblivion holds for us, for it is an oblivion, and such mysteries are meant to remain mysteries. Neither of us are incorrect - we are just too different. :)

[KWP]

i think we are more similar than not actually - sure you ay we disagree on that one point but I see in your writing that we probably agree on much more :)

thanks for reading this one chick - lemme ask you one question - when the human race has come and gone - is it still necessary to leave a mark on this world? or should we perhaps understand that we are merely an expression on life in the grandest of nature and our only purpose is to flourish while we are here - not dissimilar to a flower? Oh and I only ask you this because I know you are the kind of person to ponder it while you are not pondering at all - and your conclusion will of course be as unique as the beautiful soul you are

LOVE X

[Sally Hope]

If you look at it in that light, then our sole purpose would be to arrive here, grow up, mature, procreate live, healthy young, and drop dead, for that's the sole purpose of any species: Get your own kind going. Similarly, we wish to leave a mark for our own kind, as our legacies are what will define us to the future generations (that is, before the apocalypse hits the earth, and human race is POOF! *gone*). And our imprints will definitely NOT be similar to a flower, because there has to be a difference between a non-locomotive being and the highest form of life on earth. However, the most ironic part is this: You seem to be one with deep thoughts and clarity on subjects such as the purpose of existence, which makes me think you'll be one to leave a lasting impression yourself, KWP. :)

[Kgorometja]

"I am the spring blossom exploding with vitality
waiting to collapse and shrivel away"

"As I imprint my essence upon a distant wave
never to be washed ashore"

Those are my two favourite lines. I think its brilliant, you have stuck to the task and questioned a notion a lot of us hold dearly without question, that we need to leave a mark for our existence to matter. I get the sense that you are showing us that enjoying life is enough "I shall leave as I came, owing nothing to this world" that line is almost overwhelming to me, you're right. We owe this world, this life, nothing, nothing at all, I feel privileged to have read this I learnt a great deal here

[KWP]

Your words here have made me smile - you have read them exactly as I wrote them - before this I never had attempted a poem like this without any kind of formal knowledge - this is actually on of my fave poems of mine at the moment - so happy happy you like it :-)

Much love X

[andrew mitchell]

Extremely well done KWP. I'm in awe. THis is your finest for me of all your favs. Thanks for sharing

[Ladysue]

Oh this was very different but I really enjoyed it. There was much movement in this piece. To me this felt like experience upon experience of life and all it offers to which we live and feel and the only thing constant..very well done..

[Einstein Noodle]

ooooooooooo! what a challenge! i for one am so glad you are sharing your class experiences with us ... love your poem (as always) nice job in staying on topic as well as creating poetic colors and visions (icicle is my favorite metaphor used) .... this:
"I am the river in eternity
embracing the ebb and the flow" ... is just my cup of tea! it brings feelings of peace to me ... cleansing breath ..but i don't think it fits your leaving without a trace ... ebb and flow and rivers in eternity are more symbolic of staying power for me ...
there are several other lines and phrases i like a lot but the icicle i will carry with me when they are 3 feet long off my gutters and i whine a cry about everything frigid ;)) it will give me hope ..love ya!
E.

[KWP]

hey E - yes yes the river line was playing on m mind as well - for the exact same reason - yes yes I will look at changing it so it resonates in the right way - ooooh yes and love ya right back XXXXX

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

A good poem, KWP. Things disappear sometime without a trace, however I think our writings are traces of us that remain. Thank you for sharing these thoughts. :) Rudui

[Valentine]

As we all learn...nothing lasts forever. Valentine

[Autumn Lyric]

Fine art, indeed! I must say this is an excellent write about leaving (or not leaving) your mark on the world. I believe the mark has made through osmosis, for you have made a deep impression upon the minds of your readers and water in all its forms is beautiful and traces can always be found... Keep up the good work!