Xenophobia Outdated

... having a crack at some more prose ... seriously should research more on how to write it. Instead just diving in.

I sit on the bus. All eyes on phones, ears plug into a different reality. Taking people away from this moment - that is - on the bus. 

A mother with her young daughter, sits, close. I watch, admire her conversing, smiling, laughing ever so lightly with her child. The child’s eyes posses a look of adoration and love, reserved only for a mother. The mother caresses the girl with a touch only given by a mother. I am struck by the striking resemblance they share. Chocolate drop balls of colour sitting in tear-drop shaped eyes, plush full lips, clear olive skin someone like myself has only ever dreamed of.

A woman, across the isle, middle age, angry. Scowls at the mother and daughter, tutts, shakes her head. Restless in her seat she murmurs, under her breath, yet distinct enough for all to hear.

‘Go back home, we don’t want you here,’ she continues her angry delusion.  

The mother hears, she must have heard, everybody else in the bus has noticed the sudden shift in mood, energy, feeling. Eyes cast down the isle, jumping back and forth between mother and angry woman. Anticipating what will unfold. Questioning how brave they may of may not have to be, better to stay silent, pretend they don’t know or see the difference between right and wrong.

The mother she does not bat an eyelid, refusing to engage the angry woman.Apparently she has experience with this from of behaviour. Instead choosing to sing a lullaby to her daughter in her native language. I cannot understand. 

She is dousing out the volumes hatred. Rightly so. No child deserves to be privy to this kind of alienation born out of fear, ignorance, stupidity. 

The mother wears a headscarf, from my angle I notice how it accentuates her innate strength and  beauty. I wish to translate for my own learning, what it is the angry woman notices in the head scarf. Perhaps even see for myself the path the angry woman has travelled to make her behave in a way reserved only for neanderthals.

This reality, here on the bus, tells me I am living in the twenty first century. The human race believes it is smart, clever "yet we lack to understand the deep connection to each other, well, some do. 

But tell me do the others ‘choose’ to be ignorant? Is it a considered choice? None of it makes sense to me.

Author's Note

I guess I must point out this is more of a social observation than an actual event - I would love to hear thoughts and comments on the delivery of the writing - as always most appreciated XX

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

i think the delivery is fine ..i hopped right on the buss along with your speaker .. felt as a sylph in observation only mode .. one of the good things about the 60s in America is that out of it came the shout that differences don't matter when love is put first ..this scene should be archaic ... something to take out and dust off just to remember that it should never be like this ..for anyone .. closing with the questions is engaging ... i believe it is taught .. but like all things taught .. we choose .. the woman filled with hate and violence, (i say violence because she spoke her hate out loud) she is terrified .. and ignorant :(
E.
ps i am glad you had the mother act as she did ..her rebuttal would only serve to give her persecutor more fuel .. but if others on the bus spoke up and rebuked her horrible behavior ... she at the least would be put to silence more likely than not or her fight would be taken to people without the attributes she prejudices .. thought provoking to read KWP! glad i found it ..
E.

[Wrenlane]

As you might be able to discern, I am bouncing around thru some of your work. This one is good. It has all the elements to convey a story interlaced with your personal views wrapped up in a very descriptive narrative that clearly shows where you stand on this age old but persistent social stigma that is still plaguing society today. But just the fact that some see it for what it is, gives us hope!

[sereenaoutloud]

Love this write, the description of their eyes an d skin, the scarf, the tension in the air as the mood changes such great imagery!
As for the subject...ooooohhh do not get me started lol. I will never understand how anyone can look at someone and have that much hate ! Race, color, religion has caused so many wars, terrorism and an inhuman acts. When are we ever going to finally see that we are all equal?
great write girlie

[Valentine]

Prejudice of any kind is inhumane to me. We all are the same under the skin. God does not make junk. Valentine

[cycy]

this is very well written dear and i can totally relate due to recent attacks that have been targeted at foreigners in south africa and some of these being my fellow zimbabweans so i really get the feel of this story and you have expressed it very well indeed.

[R Smith]

Hi Boss Lady, I have to admit i don't really know about prose, i thought it was poems that don't rhyme but then apart from writing i don't know anything about what i'm doing haha, well it seems that way to me lol I like your story here and have seen this kind of discrimination many times, sadly it goes on very much even in today's 'enlightened world', I like the way you wrote it and it is a good read that holds the attention to the very end, so putting aside my lack of education in poetic matters i'd say it was excellent, give us more please, thanks my Aussie bird XXXXX

[KWP]

You are gorgeous and I looked up prose poetry and you will be happy to know it ain't anywhere near as hard as you or I thought ... But thanks for reading this lengthy one your words inspire me Cheers Boss Xx

[R Smith]

ok so now i better look it up too, maybe we can prose together, does that sound odd? I'm not half as gorgeous as you by the way, not even a quarter but thank you for that XXXXX

[KWP]

I think you are ..... X

[R Smith]

Love ya Boss Lady XXXXX

[Stonz P.]

Hi there,
I agree with your inhibitions and the story is okay but there is a lack of depth (as a story) within the piece as it progresses/unfolds (note: not continuity but progress). That I feel happened maybe because of your dominant poetic nature. Poems always induce more imagination than prose. Our brains, right? :P
I think a more blunt approach may do the trick for you. Edit this when you can detach yourself from the story and be indifferent towards the characters.
I am sure the piece will turn out to be according to your intention.

All in all, I only wished to point out that I felt this is a tad too poetic for a prose on social commentary; a poem with this approach would turn out good IMO. It is not bad, mind you.

'Telephone Conversation' by Wole Soyinka may prove useful to you to ponder over the subject.
Hope these suggestions help.

[KWP]

Hello you and thanks for your thoughts here - I guess I am not really aiming at a story more of an observation / poetic prose saying that I believe your thoughts are insightful and I will def. check out you're suggested reading X

[Stonz P.]

I understood that; suggested keeping that in mind. That poem was taught in school and it popped into my head when the lady in your story exhibited hate. Hope you'll enjoy it as I did.
Tc :)

[KWP]

Excellent and thanks again x

[KWP]

Just read the poem - yeah love that - I will keep to read again x

[Jamestown]

Great piece of work and well delivered!
I believe Brittany gave a good review in which I can agree with,
I do my best to treat everyone the way I would like to be treated
but I am not perfect and make mistakes along the way:( I have
experienced some things in society that I don't approve of but
I try to learn from these things I've seen or heard, gr8 job and
thanks for sharing, b-blessed!

[andrew mitchell]

That cornershop again !!!! So enjoyable to read . I was just swept away with your write:):)

[613]

This was written very well, with very minimal grammatical & punctuational errors.

As for the content - I believe it all has to do with our upbringing, whom our friends are, our personal experiences & what we see on the news; which, by the way, depending on the station, can be a distorted view of a certain group or people. Despite all of this, it is up to us to determine what is right or wrong.

I think this way - I do not hate a specific group of people. But I have, however, disliked certain individuals for things they have either done to me, my family & friends or community.

[KWP]

thank you chick - I appreciate the read indeed - X

[613]

My pleasure! :D