Snow and The Inconsolable Guilt Regarding Phytoplankton

a walk on the lighter side

Currently I buoy myself 

along with the sensation of feeling

really rather wretched

having had to awaken 

to the white sight of 

snow

You must understand 

a drab, dreary disdain 

blankets my every direction

A creeping, callous cold

found a way into my anatomy

without any form of exaggeration 

it chilled me right to freezing point

A freezing point I might add 

felt mostly in one place 

my tushie

yes

my bum

my butt

my bottom

my backside

my posterior

A most unpleasant sensation

to say the very least

“The Sun, The Sun 

I simply must chase the sun”

An all knowing thought 

screams it’s way into my already 

nastily nippy day

Hurrying to the window

I notice the sun and the clouds 

the pair 

currently knee deep 

in a rigorous skirmish

the sun shoots 

a warming ray 

The clouds swarm 

shrouding the ray

much like a 

bloom of algae 

covering my favorite pond

suffocating my family of fish 

extinguishing all hope 

Last summer 

I ladled and scooped 

(until my hearts content)

all of that organism type algae

ladled, scooped (weapons of mass destruction)

right up out of the water 

displacing 

every last minuscule call from it’s very own

reality of living 

Oh dear!

I believe I may have

murdered 

that algae

 

What right do I have to 

decide on the fate of

millions of microscopic

single celled phytoplankton?

Well of course 

much research post the murderous act of 

the poor algae family

I endured living with 

pent up guilt for months on end

so yes of course

I can still recall the name of these 

now dead algae named

Phytoplankton

Oh hang on -

my head is screaming again

“don’t look back in regret”

Quite true

one must never even dare to

look back and question 

for the past ceases to exist

it is the here, the now 

we must keep our focus

Moving right along 

to rid myself of the cold no less

the guilt will remain for a time indefinite

Gather up courage I must 

head for the shed 

a simple ladder my target 

Shouldn’t be too hard if I 

hot tail my little butt -

(which I might add 

is now being bitten 

exceedingly hard by the

the very thing I hold in the most

antipathy - the cold) 

- fast as I can muster 

through the waist deep snow

Argh! 

“Baby it’s cold outside” 

I half sing 

half scream

and another half I wail

sounding much like what I imagine 

a giraffe birthing twins would sound

No longer can I feel my face 

in this glacial torment!

I must not dilly dally 

don’t want my bits to fall off as

a result of frostbite

locating my bits again

may indeed be an impossibility 

in this deep white ice

and also 

however would I reattach?

The ladder -

there it is!

Drag the ladder outside I do

Best bet for now -

wait 

yes wait

for the swarm of clouds to

dissipate

no ladle, no scoop

cannot have any more 

MURDER

on my conscience

this lifetime

“Tra la la

Tra la lair

I have a cold bum

It ain’t really fair”

Sing whilst I wait

notice I do the birds fly far and wide

did my voice do that?

Hmmm - 

Eyes glued, stuck, cemented 

to the sky

a simple parting 

of the clouds 

my only request

There it is 

BAM!

Clouds lift

Sun shift 

Quick!

Literally shoving the ladder 

with my mightiest might

in the direction 

of the soon to be encapsulating

golden warmth 

I climb aboard the sunbeam

walk my way up to the sun

turn around and drop my pants

to warm my little bum

* You can go back and sing that last stanza right there if you like - gives a lovely effect 

Ahhhhh - 

warm tushie

life 

can once again 

return to normality 

There really is nothing 

quite like a warm bottom.

Reviews

[Kari Rakitan]

This was delightfully cute. I like all the different words for bum.

[barleygirl]

I wish I could string out an idea so extensively. I never delve into anything as enthusiastically or thoroughly as this! I wish I could write with such a bumping churning load of dynamic thought movement as this! Your expressions & verbs are lively as leaping lizards -- no wonder you're scooping away that slovenly pond scum that suffocates. I can't believe all the ways you describe cold & how much this justifies almost anything rash, such as obliterating unwanted organisms. To a tiny degree, this reminds me of how the public goes crazy whenever some statue is deemed unworthy & must be taken down . . . next thing ya know, we'll be catching hell for scraping aside pond scum before we go skinny-dipping. I definitely feel the humor of the absurd in your real-to-life rant here! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[KWP]

I'm certain you could do this ... it's just like falling and enjoying the view :)

[Wild Rose]

Mmm I liked the details of you murdering the algae in order to save your fish

I would have loved to see the new snow - an excuse to put on a warm pulli ans anorak walking boots and gaiters
Then go our for a good walk in the bracing air

Return home to a wam house and a hot drink

[andrew mitchell]

This was pure entertainment plus+++++++++ What a joy to read KWP, so funny, beautiful flow and being one who admires the female bottom, you had my attention start to finish lol.:):):):) An excellent writer you are!!

[KWP]

You? One to admire the female buttocks??? I never would have guessed :DDD thanks for your input - love ya much much X

[PHFASCES]

speechless. i'm inspired to go wild on a poem now. this is beautiful.

[KWP]

yeah - awesome - let me see it when you are done :) this one was so much fun to write X

[sinNsincerity]

Firstly, I oh so love how the sunbeam symbolizes a glimpse of false hope.
Is it plausible to say that the now is a reflection of the past that could never be changed, but corrected?
As well as living for today, so that we may make it to our tomorrows...
Secondly, I love the onomatopoeia,
"Tra la la
Tra la lair
I have a cold bum
It ain’t really fair."

Then the sunbeam returns!

Amazing Write hands down!

[cycy]

hahaha a very quirky and entertaining piece dear lightened up my mood a lot hahaah well written indeed pretty long but well worth the read :)

[KWP]

you made it to the end ..... *exhale .... yay ... glad you felt lighter :) XX

[R Smith]

What's snow? Okay i've heard of it, not sure about phytoplankton, guess i heard of them too, so you're a single cell murderer with a cold bum, don't knock it things could be far worse, anyway this is probably the most extraordinary poem i ever read, I should expect that from the Aussie bird, that's an Emu by the way, brilliant writing Boss, no one can match your art of invention, superb :)

[KWP]

Did you just call me an Emu?

why thank you kind sir - how dd=id you get on with your publishing?

[R Smith]

basically I did'ent get on with my publishing, cos all i can do is write poems, understanding the intricacies of any other form of life is somewhere over my dumb head apparently, or in other words why aint it simple to just create a book and publish it, sorry to dump this on you but i do believe i'm actually annoyed at the difficulty i'm having lol

[KWP]

ahh well yes I am sensing this - don't give up - I am certain there are other avenues - I am sorry I have no clue myself - but when you figure it out please let me know X

[R Smith]

you can be sure I will do just that, Emu's unite and world domination is underway, thank you xxx

[ANTO]

This sounds like (watch me embarrass myself with my limited knowledge of theologies) - is it Buddhists that won't harm any living thing if they can help it? If so, this sounds like Buddhism .

The title is the coolest - fitting for the subject matter.

I love the fun in this - its like a skit (NO! ..I said skit) and a poem and a tale all in one. Its very creative and clever. Give me a shout when you're doing your top ! xD

super fun K !
:))

[KWP]

hehehe - glad you enjoyed and you seem to have figured out my brain a wee bit in the process - perhaps I shall jump on the pendulum and swing the other way :)

thanks for the read Sunshine XX

[Rachelle]

I see you are also battling the white menace!!! Recent bouts with subarctic weather has now rendered my right arm with a condition called tendinitis or "tennis elbow". Sadly, I did not even get to step on the court to develop this.

[KWP]

Hey Rachelle - thanks for stopping by and reading - funny thing is I live in good old Sydney Australia and we don't get weather like that at all - in fact just the opposite - but I have been reading about and seeing stuff on the snowy weather conditions over in America i kinda empathised with words I guess XX