City Shame

'Loosing light in the city walls'

Three am in this godless city,
Movement is all too familiar,
eyes beckon to me.
I walk on,
City streets mockingly engaging me to stay
These streets are no longer my friends,
the city is a well disguised charlatan.
It's allure has been replaced by anguish
i sink deeper in self chastising shame.

Innocence is no longer in my ownership, goodbye.
What though has it been replaced with? Experience - bah!
It is within experience they say we grow stronger,
I am certain that in loving arms one can grow stronger too.

Where is my home now? 
Pitiful, dark, damp room, stagnant air,
Door heavily locked , please, no more intruders.
Sitting alone in my hutch,
Wondering to what depths I am able to fall.
Drifting within a unique form of my own consciousness,
in this soul invading city. 

What life is this that I have executed for myself?
Mistakes have been made, can I turn back,
is it possible for love to return.
Too many errors, pride blocks the way of an outward journey.
I am dirty, too dirty,
This foul stench will never be ridden!

Loathsome city, wretched city, trying to despoil my soul.
Lights that once seduced, now burn my essence with scorn,
Laughing and screaming at my ineptitude
to pull myself back from this transient state
within the city walls.

Let go the hold, release me,
This offering of bondage I never asked of.

Intention to turn one corner, two corners,
maybe three just to bathe in sunshine.
Alas - shame is such a strong burden
for one to feel themselves worthy of bathing in sunshine.

'Such a beautiful girl, ' my grandmother used to say.
The beauty eroded by the city,
into a sunken void of blackened infinity.

Strangers cannot look into my eyes now,
Scared to see themselves in their own reflection perhaps.
My own reflection located in the city's bilge,
murky and ridden with blood sucking insects.
People are cruel, this city even more so,
relentless in its beatings, laughing,
nursing away at my existence.

Dripping cold in my heart is this city,
it has strangled the life from my soul.
Once buoying my dreams,
now gripping each moment into a harsh eternity.
When moments are too enduring reflection creeps in,
What purpose is reflection,
if you feel you have no more aspiration to dream?

Shame, city shame, it may yet be the winner in this game.

Reviews

[Kathy Van Kurin]

KWP,
"City Shame" The title speaks well of this poem's very theme. It carries no free air inspiration. "Eyes beckon me, I walk on" is where the feeling of pain starts for this soul who is lost within this dead place. Innocence lost', experience but no love' and trapped in hutch with the door locked' then feeling dirty, so dirty and can the sunshine ever be enjoyed by such a one. I was taken by this as well "Such a beautiful girl, my grandmother used to say. The beauty eroded by the city, into a sunken void of blackened infinity." This the precious value of inner possibility thrown away and then trampled by the heaviness or desperation of others; maybe the same at least for this person............This one is cut off from others eyes. And then "Dripping cold in my heart is this city." Like a reverse life drip in an emergency room which would bring life; but.......No more aspiration to dream? What have we really got with no dreams??????? Thanks for writing. I was very challenged and mindful of all the souls who are in cities of pain and hopelessness.... Bless you. Kathy

[Border]

Superb soulful writing that has seldom been penned in the recent times. It is indeed an honour to review this beautiful piece of writing/

[Einstein Noodle]

reflections of easy choices ... alluring at the start .. titillating in the execution .. we "wake up" one day to chains .. and a city that mocks our own demise .. thats what i see in your poem .. and the question of ones ability to return to light .. how terrifying ... in light of horrible acts committed in our cities your poem hits the pavement with a sharp brutality .. never disapointed reading your words my friend
E.

[KWP]

hello gorgeous one -you always give me reason to see the light in your reviews - hows that big dawg of yours?

[Einstein Noodle]

she is one continuous tickle ... so blessed she decided to live with us ;) love to you Ms K

[Gabriel's Last Breath (..]

Reminds me of New Orleans, and for some reason a quote from an old song i heard "cities killed starlight". I enjoyed reading it.

[andrew mitchell]

This had a heavy backdrop of city life with heavy emotions. Nice write!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

This is a very heavy and introspective piece that is descriptive in its metaphors but laced with confusion, sadness and anger. All the emotions we go through when we feel so abandoned, guilty and frustrated.

[Mitali Shah]

Wow its really very different one from you, I liked it KWP. Good job :) God bless

[AaronFreitas]

This is really an awesome write!! I really enjoyed it and I'm glad you sent a RR for it :)

[sereenaoutloud]

wow you are such a great writer/poetess KWP...i love this. I was drawn in and was captured from beginning to end. The city being brought to life, having its own identity, its own voice of all what happens on its streets, its corners, it buildings!
Just amazing chick face!! :)

[KWP]

you are too kind - this be an oldie XX

[Emily]

I really like this one!
It inspires me!
Keep it up!