Rudolph's Revenge

I found a festive writing prompt that gave me a good giggle. Here's a link: http://www.writersdigest.com/prompts/rudolphs-revenge

But do you recall? The most famous reindeer of all?

Time heals all wounds, that’s what every critter says. Well Santa, I’ve found this to be untrue! The very tune haunts me every day! The cruelty plays in my mind like an old black and white film. Dasher the disaster, Dancer the fun crasher, Prancer the oppressor, Comet the coercer, Cupid the insolent, Donner the pest, and Blitzen the browbeater. All of them are at fault for the physiological damage they’ve reeked upon me. The year before I became your leading man they never let me play reindeer volleyball. I just wanted my snoot booped!!

Before I knew it 1964 was ending and on a foggy Christmas Eve you barged into my home. Requesting that I guide your sleigh. I have anxiety from the bullying and my mother was beaming happily at me. As if I had just won the lottery. I was forced to agree. Is that how you get all your employees?!

The other reindeer tolerated me after this. Yet whichever of your Elves wrote the song substituted tolerated with loved. It would sound peculiar if the verse went then how the reindeer tolerated him. Would it not? Still that Elf is a liar! Everyone in the North Pole is shady! I went down in history as being a survivor of being bullied.

Now I’m moving far away from the North Pole! I want to become a guidance counselor. Help others get through their own torments. If you’re worried about foggy nights just have Blitzen taken in to get plastic surgery. It’s 2016. I imagine Doctors would make it happen for you, Santa.

Goodbye,

-Rudolph

Author's Note

Gave me a good giggle. Hoepfully it does the same for you!