Hanging on

a poem about ruthless anxiety attacks

Hanging on

How the hell did this even start

anxious thoughts tearing her apart

on a daily basis she's fighting, going insane

a faceless demon calling her name

she remembered the night she breathed him inside

now in her stomach she believes he resides

He crawls up her body in delicious waves

such a feeling so wrong but she craves

Stopping her from living and doing and thinking

making her useless, empty and drinking

Praying and begging please make it cease

Maybe to die would be the only release

No-one believes her thinks she is mad

no-one to turn to pretends to be glad

and happy and normal, isn't life great

but inside she's in a terrible state

how long can she keep up the pretence

suicidal thoughts are getting immense

She's waiting on her book on CBT to arrive

hoping it's contents will keep her alive

She should really tell someone but tried

Everyone thought she was mad or had lied

Even when she broke down and cried

something inside her has crashed and died

Reviews

[Kathy Van Kurin]

'Hanging on'
KT-B,
This poem is a very intense one. There are those among us which are in bondage to inner battle. This battle is a tragic and horrifying reality for a whole mass of people among us. These people probably never dreamed that their lives would become this type of state. I have known a few of these folks and would not want to trade places with them but they are precious human beings and many times are capable of holding friendships and many times do grow and come to a place of healing.
Great poem. I hope I was not way out on a limb with my review.
Blessings,
Kathy

[KT-B]

Hi dear Kathy, thanks for reading and reviewing - this actually happened to me a few years ago, I was watching a lot of supernatural, true ghost stories and I actually believed the contents of this poem - horrifying, still it preys on me but I know it is a manifestation in my mind now and knowing that it is not real keeps my sanity. The mind is so powerful, thoughts become real, what you put out to the universe manifests - I don't know why this happened to me pychosis? anxiety? I still can't believe it and my relationships with some haven't been the same since I talked about it, I can see their fear and confusion, God how do they think I feel?? - My biggest fear was going insane and losing my family, thankfully that didn't happen but it still takes all my strength to deal with this at times - KT XX

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Oh bless you. I am glad to of met you here on this great website. You are a wonderful and gifted writer and a lovely human being. Don't forget that. I wish you lived around the corner from me.
I wish you every good and perfect gift of soul and heart.
Kathy

[KT-B]

I'm glad we met too, I feel a real kinship with you- hope you don't think I'm a total nut now having shared that experience - it really is quite freaky and hard to understand - I don't like visiting it but if it helps someone else experiencing something similar then it's worth sharing - even if it makes me vulnerable to ridicule, fear, shock, disbelief or some other negative reaction - I thought I was strong and that nothing like this would ever happen to me - I sometimes wonder if it's a hormonal imbalance, I'll never truly understand - have a great day X