June 22, 2013 8a.m.

Free Write

June 22, 2013 8a.m.

(free writing)

K.S.

 

Its early morning yet again.  I haven’t done much only ate and talked to an online friend.  Trying to pretend, like I’m going to get out of bed. When in reality I just sit here with my pen.

 

I know part of what bothers me is silly and crazy but one part says I’m doomed to go on repeating your words inside my head.

 

Trying to relax.  I’ve got to get a grasp on my day.  Need to go outside but I can’t stand the light.

 

During early hours I know where you are but late at night for all I know you could be with some other girl.  It’s at the point it shouldn’t get to me but my heart is tragic and it bleeds, for you I just don’t understand how you can’t see.

 

My hands, my self-esteem, have been shaken.  You claim forgiveness but I don’t see any that’s been given.  This is my fate, my cage; I’m forever doomed to be trapped inside.

 

Oh well I guess I’d rather be here.  Somewhere in between reality and my perception.  I could catch up on some sleep but my dreams aren’t always pleasant and that makes it harder you see?

 

Why can’t you let go and come home?  Where in my darkest hour did you go? Too far away and I don’t know what else to say except put me in the ground already.  I see I’d be better off alone.

 

Why you ask?  Because, I’m passed all these feelings of helplessness and six feet under I can rest for there’s no anxiety no tears to cry.  No dear I am no longer within your grasp.

.

Reviews

[Clove]

If you really love this person, you should be honest and tell them your true feelings. I feel the pain, I have someone that I really care about but the mom won't let him see me all because he wants me as his girlfriend. But I know nothing will come out good with us being friends, because obviously someone I know is trying to use him to get to me so I was being a bigger person by allowing her to do what she must. I know that the boy that truly loves me, will never be with her.

[Patrick O'Neil]

Its hard to love someone and not to know,to trust.. or even worse when that love is not recognized. I hear your words and i feel the pain. We have all been there at some point. Well written,with honest emotions.

[Rob Funk]

This one is something that I 100% understand, except in my case I think of her with another man.

[K.S.78]

Well it took me a long time not to think of him with another woman after I had it 3 feet away from my headboard but.....no that you mention it :(.................syke lol j/k :)