Tamed

No space is mine...I am a reflection
of what he wants...
Think he's holding on too tight
I can hardly breathe.
There is no sense of where he begins
and I exist...without him.
Every thought is what pleases...him
until my heart races and my ears hum.
If I step away now...is it off a cliff
or is there freedom beyond?

Reviews

[AprilRN1210]

well, isn't this a condensed, powerful piece!! those intense feelings you get when falling hard suddenly for someone is so eloquently described here.. each carefully chosen word adds to the intensity as you get punch after punch with each line, until you get the knockout at the end.. pretty freaking awesome here.. the pauses... the flow, the language, the emotion... all add up to this sensation of suffocating and heart-pounding fear of what to do next.. jump or run... jump or run... wheeew... me?.. I am a runner... lol
awesome writing ma'am... sure got my heart rate accelerated...

[SPINNING ON that dizzy edge]

Thank you for the review and the compliment. Your words are kind and encouraging as well.

[MarshaRandall]

Having just jumped off the cliff into "freedom" your poem hit me. There came a point where I was dying inside but I kept letting him see what he wanted to see. When the pain became too bad, it was time to jump! I hope you are past that place.

[SPINNING ON that dizzy edge]

Thank you for the spot on review. Having been through it, you know. How many times do you say ok, not a big deal... until there is so much compromise and then it is just you giving and you way wait.... Janet Jackson asked - what have you done for Me lately..... I think she had a good point :) Thanks for the review.

[Ambra Celeste]

When you live in a relationship where you no longer exist and you solely live to grant the other person's wants and needs, you are not living. Your essence is wasted with undeserving beings. Well expressed!!!

[SPINNING ON that dizzy edge]

thank you for the spot on review!

[Tai Ryens]

Ah, the subtle wishes for an escape expressed through the words of realization that you've lost yourself in the process of falling in love, having fell too hard, and filled up the emptiness of yourself with him, actively becoming one and leaving no space for air. The smothering relationship is apparent and the growing urge to escape, coupled with the fear your speaker feels when treading upon unknown territory, are portrayed very skillfully. Well done.

[SPINNING ON that dizzy edge]

Thank you for your spot on review! It is tough place to be....

[DrD]

Immortal questions for those who somehow lose themselves in the world of us, we and ours. Very well done and an enjoyable read.

[SPINNING ON that dizzy edge]

Thank you for the review. Would we benefit from knowing the future and then be able to base our decisions on more than our heart sometimes... Thank you :)

[DrD]

If there are seers as found in myth, I am convinced they are without feelings, knowing the fate of all things. No, we would not benefit from such a gift, but would only suffer in advance.

[SPINNING ON that dizzy edge]

I think we may have another poem here in our wisdom :)

[A Lioness]

I think when people are together or perhaps in love we feel like we have to follow these sort of unspoken requirements. You feel like you have to be what they desire... a reflection. Once you're with a person for so long you can't imagine your life without them, and they become part of your identity. I think the last two lines is wondering if you are still an individual even after you've devoted a part of yourself (maybe too much) to that other person. That is a great ending :)

[SPINNING ON that dizzy edge]

Sometimes it is tough to know what to do. Do you throw away a good thing to take a chance on a better thing.... hmmm..... Thank you for the thoughtful review

[Donald Meikle]

That's one hell of a title (if you read it last)

[April Child]

I felt suffocated just reading this piece... it's freedom, definately freedom... or is it.. Relationships can be so complex, so contrary. Nicely captured.

[Derek S.Keck]

Totally out of context, but when I was reading the last lines I kept seeing that sort of Catcher in the Rye, cliff imagry. I like this piece a lot. That struggle of fitting someone elses mold and that want of the speaker to step outside of her front door, but not knowing what lies beyond the familiar. Brilliant!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Even when we love someone we still need to have our own identity as an individual or we begin to feel like a caged animal... love the ending.