as I'm little girl sad
in a big girl world
with crocodile tears
and a broken face
Sounds like one of those moments when you go to a place that we need to touch sometimes. Just have to feel the loss and let it pass in it's own time, like waves washing over us. You have absolutely captured it here, sad piece but lovely images and the suggestion of someone waiting for you well that is a comforting thought, not a loss just a temporary parting.
There is something particularly sad about the passing of a grandparent that does take us back to the little child in us. You conveyed that here so brilliantly. Love the reference to the lilac. Made me think that as long as you can smell lilacs, your grandmother lives on in you - her legacy.
Very beautiful. Filled with hope knowing the one you love is always there in everything and some day you will see them again when the time is right. lovely poem!
You express so much in this, the need for someone, the need to touch and be touched by that special person. But, space to think and feel self is important. I love the way you've put this together, created a picture with words.
Technically the post is fine, phrases smooth, metre almost perfect.
Your love across time
it gives me hope
you're with me now
in the smell from these lilacs
in the green of the grass
and this rain on the roof.
Yes, yes, yes! .
Thank you so much for sharing .. you and I share similar emotions.
I like the way the bits of rhyme fit into the pace of this, but the crocodile tears had me wondering what was phony. Otherwise it's fine (me gram sings a song in me 'ead)
sniff sniff...where's the darn tissues???? Oh....I love this piece. Grandma's are a very special breed and the love dripping off this poem is thick and encompassing. I'm so sure she's smiling down upon you now, happy that you can still feel her across the universe.
So many lovely images and crafty phrases throughout this piece - you are a very talented writer. Excellent, excellent piece!!
I love the transition in this piece ....from such sadness and despair into the knowing and the hope that brings that you will see them again someday - and the knowledge that they are still walking beside you and watching over you. This is a loving and beautiful gift to Gram - wonderfully done.
Some of my work is very personal and some is flight taking fancy... a writer's prerogative... :)
Read something of mine and I will read something of yours - very nice and simple and what a way.. more..