Into the Heartbeat of the Night

New - because .....

 

Will I find you here

when I look around this place

smells of whiskey, sweat and beer

smiles on every face...

neon pledges glowing

Into the heartbeat of the night?

Will I find you here

at the bottom of this drink

holding, tipping, nearly empty

of anything to think

trite disappointment dearly

Into the heartbeat of the night?

 

Will I find you here

as I check my phone now

dial shines, no messages still

lonely litany, an unheard vow

whispered secret passages

Into the heartbeat of the night?

 

Will I find you here

when last call truly looms

couples chosen, moving slowly

no dances left, a sense of doom

to leave alone - no one to hold

Into the heartbeat of the night.

 

 

 

kath nehls - redo because of YOU!   haha - I like this better

2/18/08

 

 

 

Reviews

[Barbara Walker]

Love the diction and syntax! Great imagery, rhythm and rhyme!

[bob, small b. aka invs]

smiles at this poem. good to know i'm not the only one prowling thru the nights. ok. ok. it's fiction.

i really liked this. you can feel a sort of quiet desperation in it. probably a story that happens in every bar in every city almost nightly. nicely done.

[Creepy Swine Guy]

I THOUGHT I'd read this before. As I recall, I liked it the first time but was throw in a spot or two by the rythm. Whatever you did when you tweaked it worked. It flows very nicely now and paints a sad picture that a lot of folks deal with ... loneliness.

[Poetry dances]

Sombre - full of realism- great images caught by each stanza-
regards
Tony

[Spoken]

great imagery and feeling in this! Love the way you've used your words to create such deep meaning and feeling... awsome dizzy!

[Roy]

Very clear and powerful. Great last verse. Sad, but wonderful write. Excellent!

[Murphy]

Fantastic imagery... this was, to me, like an out of body experience. I felt like I was hovering overhead, like a puff of smoke, watching... listening... feeling... very nice.

[Ken Simm.]

So do I Kath. This is also complete in its picturing.

[SweetPeachesAlways]

lonely litany, an unheard vow - too true...

yes indeed...so many emotions packed into a few lines of prose...so visual.
Good flow, good imagery, good write. Nice job!