Disconnected

I'm feeling distant
Yet far from dismal
I cant relate,
Yet feel no hate,
I struggle and I strive to be great
And take discouraging voices in stride
I know they arnt right,
Yet now I feel disconnected inside
I'm unapologetically me
And I'm happy,
Yet is seems those around me
Continue to flock to misery
And I'm finding they cant relate to me
They underestimate me
Hate me
Envy me
How I'm happy
How I'm care free
So they throw their worries at me
As I dodge them all effortlessly
The problem then becomes
Me dodging even those I love
Because to this affliction i feel they do not have immunity,
So I finally decided to get in tune with the world, but then it had a mutany
Everybody acts like they cant do it without me,
But where was everybody when I was just a sheep,
Before I got hungry,
Turned into the would and became better than those around me,
Made the snickers and jeering fall silently,
Now that everybody f*****g likes me.
You wanna talk about abandonment, I remember my class mate beating me senseless and leaving me unconscious in a sand pit.
No one cared for me no one there for me
So this disconnect isn't all that rare to me
Just surprising how far the scales have tipped towards me.
I've got a future, a great destiny
And I can say that now looking back at how
My only religion was attempting to commit suicide faithfully.
So keep your pessimism to a minimum
I'm trying not to slip back to where a came from because I now trust myself enough to sleep with a gun,
I've come too far to come undone,
If this means to separate us
Then I'll do what must be done
The disconnect, the reset
Corruption must be reset and start ups rerun,
I choose to shatter possibilty for fun
Because I've done most drugs under the sun and drank u der the table far more than one,
But the highest ever been was sober, acconpling my goals as measured by my chin.