Suicide Note

Too Dark, Not for the weak of heart. Do Not Read.

I sit alone, in a crowd of many

they cant see these thoughts dwelling within me,

persistently bothering me

dwelling deep, playing repeatedly subconsciously.

Death seems erotic to me, a toxin coursing through and through within me.

The reaper beckoning, welcoming, scythe glistening, alluringly.

Something deep within me summoning willing the blade closer to the jugular to cut through me cruelly.

I'm thinking, portraying my death poetically.

On the side of a building, thinking, how the mortician will see me, enthralled even before toxicology.

100 stories up, I can see heaven above me, and i'm imagining hell, at the concrete below me.

Heart racing, i'm pacing, Noose on my neck, blade in hand with a 45 opposite me, next to 100 antidepressants and a bottle of whiskey.

Their staring at me with greedy envy.

I'm downing the pills, chasing with the whole bottle briskly, jumping suddenly, noose tightening, i'm dangling,

Slashing my wrists violently, blood pouring below me, raining , knife to the rope and i'm falling, still strangling, 

Colt 45, cocking, safety unlocking, round chambering, straight to my gut, firing, 7 times rounds flying through me as i'm plummeting, ground rushing toward me, choking, i hit the ground diving, bone shatter, brain matter, blood spatter, metal clatter spleen breaking ground quaking with the thud i'm making, 

this is my heart breaking.  

This is my final letter to the world, words can not be written to explain the pain within me 

My lungs are black, tar battered, heart shattered and tattered in a world where I never mattered

Can you hear me now, 100 hundred stories down, with 7 shots as i'm headed for the ground

Can you see me now, smeared before you, Brain matter splattered all around, i guess ill give you a piece of my mind now, let me live in your dreams, the curse of the deceased thrust upon the society that killed me left me bleeding after torturing me mentally,

CAN YOU FEEL ME, I'm warm upon your face, splattered over the space of 100 sidewalk cracks in this place. 

Can you smell me, bloody copper scent and decay within liver soaked in liquor, spilling my Guts for you, more gore than you have ever seen before bled dry rivaling the civil war.

Don't f*****g burn me once your done scraping the pavement, that's not what this meant, Collect me in a basket 

burn my heart before me and cover me in the ashes and display me in an open casket.

I want you to see the atrocity, THIS IS WHAT YOU DID TO ME, i swallowed the pain everyday, till it became caustic.

This is the pain you could never see within me, the noose still hanging, Me choking down my hatred and attempting to be complacent. The wrists were cut representing the trivial ties, of suicide to society, The whiskey the most popular poison still drowning me, antidepressants they gave me to make me happy, the 45, bullets that ripped through me, show what your words can do to me, projectiles that tear cruelly, the crunching of my spine, sickening , to make you hear the end of the life you treated indifferently, LOOK AT ME. F**K YOU SOCIETY. 

Reviews

[Lauren_The_Awesome]

Wow. A very powerful piece. Society is a b***h and can't understand we are who we are and not what they want us to be. Loved your unique way to say what's on your mind. Very great job :)

[Michael Leon Wilson]

Thank you for a gracious review

[Lauren_The_Awesome]

You're welcome

[~Kali~]

THIS. IS. AMAZING! I loved how you addressed different ways to commit suicide. This might be my favorite poem I've ever read here! Keep writing, you're so talented :)

[Michael Leon Wilson]

You may be just as crazy as I am

[~Kali~]

Maybe. I don't really act on my thoughts but I consider it. All the time. I don't know, my mind is very strange...

[Michael Leon Wilson]

As I said " Death seems erotic to me" thanks for the read... and the comment... I have alot of poetry similar and some very different... may I recommend " the broken poet" ? If you'd care to read that is

[~Kali~]

You're welcome! And yeah, it sounds like a good one.

[V]

I like your dark pieces. A lot of great lines in here but one that really drew me in was: "Death seems erotic to me" that's such a good way to express it, really love that one. This reminds me of my story Dark Novellas, also dealing with the death topic, if you should ever feel like reading.

[aLittlePain]

I dig this, it's incredibly dark you're right to add that in your description. Perhaps you'll consider tagging your works as 'mature' . I enjoyed the graphic nature of your writing, this has a nice building pace and then we plunge into the deep end. Deeply intense, all consuming writing. R.

[Bloggergirl29]

The amount of work it seems you've put into this is quite apparent, Great piece!

[Michael Leon Wilson]

Unfortunately, all I have to do is type.... this is how I think, I just share thoughts with the world.