Reminiscing

No moment lasts forever...

                He held my hand tightly in his at his side. I could feel the sun warming my skin and the rush of the waves echoed in my ears. Water tickled over my toes and ran over and past my ankles. After the sea reached me it receded back into its origin. I looked into the blue ocean ahead of me then into his eyes, his deep, warm, brown eyes. I smiled and wiped the hair out of my face which did little good since the sea breeze brought it back over my eyes once again.

                “How long have you been planning this?” I asked him. “I mean a day at the beach, a basket, a blanket. How long did it take you to put this all together?”

                “I’m not telling.” He jested with me. He let go of my hand only to wrap both of his arms around me. He pulled me close and gave me a short sweet kiss. Once the kiss was done he leaned his head to mine with his eyes closed and began humming a familiar tune that I tried to place. I was never one for guessing games and I quickly became stumped. I hummed along with him, but the artist of the song and the words were just beyond my grasp. The humming stopped then he said “You’re trying to thinking about what I was humming aren’t you?” I laughed.                                

                “Am I really that easy to read that you can tell what I am thinking with your eyes closed?”  Now it was his turn to laugh. He squeezed me but did it ever so gently. He opened his eyes and brushed the hair from my face. One of his favorite things about me was the fact I could never keep my hair where I wanted. It just would just go any way it pleased making it a bit messy and he thought it was adorable.

                “You’re not easy to read Hun. I just know you.” He kissed me again. He held me and I was content. The wind rustled my hair and the water beat on my toes. I was willing to stay in that moment forever, until he began to hum the same song again just to tick me off. I turn.  

                “What is it?” I plead. Childlike, I stomp my foot splashing water onto his jeans.

                “I’m not telling.” He said again with his cockamamie smile. He just loved his games. He loved watching me try to sort out what a song was or the answer to a problem. Maybe it was the face that I made when I was thinking too hard, or that after too long I would start to get aggravated with him and try to get away from him which only gave him a reason to hold on tighter. Either way he would make me work for an answer. I did not mind too much though. Every time I would get away from him I could turn and see in his eyes that all he wanted was for me to come back. If I did he would give me anything, including the answer.

                So I sit there mulling over the tune over and over again until I throw my hands in the air and say “I give up!” Catching him by surprise I was able to squirm out of his arms and run straight to the water. He chased after me into the ocean and I ran as fast as my legs could carry me. We both laughed as we did so. I turned and stopped to look behind me and he was there not even ten feet away from me. For the first time since we ever played this sort of game I realized that I had the same look in my eyes that he had in his. All I wanted was to be back in his arms. Once I was there I would be satisfied to never leave again.  Before I knew it my wish was granted; he was right there with me and I was enveloped in him.

                He picked me up and nearly did a complete turn before he fell into the water. We were completely soaked. With my newly wet hair dangling in my face I reached to push it back but he did it for me and kissed me right then and there sitting in the cold ocean water. We both smiled as we tried to stand without letting the small waves knock us off our feet. Once on dry land we walked over to our blanket being pinned down by a picnic basket, our shoes and some rocks. We sit down on the cloth and let the sun smooth the goosebumps that formed on our skin. I was thankful I wore shorts, but I knew it sucks for him because he was wearing his jeans.

                I leaned on his shoulder looking at the water moving in a calming rhythm. After a couple minutes of the simple silence passing He moved which disturbed my leaning. “Sorry, I just have to take this shirt off, it is to heavy being wet.” He said while quickly taking off the top and wringing it out to the side of the blanket. As he took off his shirt I heard the quiet clink of his dog tags. Hearing that slight clink sent a chill down my spine that reminded me that all of this was not forever. That in a couple of days I would go from being a heartbeat away to thousands of miles. 

                Push it out of your mind that is all you can do for yourself. Stay here. Stay at the beach, with the ocean, and the waves. Stay with the sun and the basket. Stay here with him and don’t think about the days from now. Just think that this is forever, even if is not true.

                “You okay?” He asks me looking at me.

                “Yeah.” I say, I try and work up the most convincing smile I could muster. He knew I was lying and he knew why I was lying. Cause if I told him he would think about it and I would think about it. I might start to cry, and then he would hold me and cry as well. I didn’t want to cry today. Not now. I wanted smiles, jokes and games. If I could only have him for a few days then I would make the most of them. “What did you pack?” I asked him realizing that I was hungry and was ready to eat just about anything that he pulled from the basket.

                “I am going to be honest; they don’t have much on base so I have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Some chips, a Coke for you and a Sprite for me. Oh and I have some cookies.” He pulled out the lunch and I beamed. Some would say that the lunch would be something that a kid would bring to school for lunch but the smile that a single sandwich gave me was larger than one that would have been created if he held a pile of diamonds.

                “You didn’t have to do this.” I say 100% certain I was blushing, or was that the sun warming my cheeks from the cool water.

                “I wanted to. I am just sorry it isn’t more.” He said looking down.

                “This is prefect.” I say

                “I just wanted to do more because you deserve the best. The best of everything.” He says looking into my eyes. Then I understood the expression “The eyes are the window to the soul” because being locked in his gaze I could only feel butterflies flying through my veins and I felt that he could read all my emotions. All my thoughts and fears, my heartaches, and joys, my ups and my downs, he could see them. That feeling was the most wonderful thing that I ever felt. The feeling that I didn’t have to hide who I was and no matter what I told him he would still care for me the same way. Then I notice that I haven’t said anything. He is a wizard with words, he can put them together so eloquently and I am stuck speechless.

                Unable to think of anything else to say I just lean on him and wrap my arms around him. I kiss his shoulder that has been warmed from the sun’s touch and salty from the sea then placed my head on the spot where I had kissed and look out at the water. The light from the sun glinted off of the metal of his tags and into my eyes. Instead of moving I just closed them. I didn’t want to move and for the first time in my life I begged for time to freeze and let the day last. But time is constant and it wouldn’t stop just for me. But that didn’t stop me from wishing.

                “Do you want your sandwich?” He questioned holding it up for me. I opened my eyes and let the corners of my mouth lift into a smile. I grabbed the sandwich, opened the bag and took a huge bite. Not as big as his, but still a large chunk was missing.

                “If I had a Yoohoo right now it would be like a school yard lunch.” I joked.

                “You know it is not real chocolate milk right.”

                “Of course but it was SO good.” I giggled. We go on from there. It begins with Yoohoo, and then we move on to our elementary schools and worked our way up to High school. The day we met, even though we have talked about it often, it never got old to me reminiscing with him about that day. Talking about each other leads us to talking about our ex’s briefly, then back to us. Then we moved onto our families and how he would like to see mine before he left for his deployment. He mentions that he hasn’t seen his mom since basic and he needs to see her and his brother again before he leaves.

                And there we were sitting on that beautiful beach with the sun starting to fall behind the now purple ocean staring truth in the face. The truth that he was in fact leaving again and some goodbyes needed to be made. The fact that I was trying to avoid had magically worked its way through the conversation was now shining the reality in our faces. All speaking stops and the ocean played its song for us.

                He leans back on our sandy blanket, hands behind his head and his tags resting just above his heart catching the last bursts of orange light showering from the sun. I remained sitting looking down at him. The laughs that we had early were now gone, so it seemed and he looked somber and hardened. I leaned down and kissed his cheek and then his lips. He places his hands around my face and holds me there for a moment then softly let go. He opened his eyes and looked at me.

                “I love you.” He said and that was all I needed. All that I had been holding in all that time was now running down my face in tears. He sat up, held me close and let me cry. By the time we had both stopped the sun had set and the stars were out. We wiped our eyes and looked up into the sky.

                “I just remembered,” I said wiping away my tears “that I didn’t get to say I Love you back.”

                Through his red eyes he smiled and laughed “Well say it”

                “I Love you.” I said simply with a smile on my face that told that what I said was true. I loved him with all my soul no matter where he would be or how long he would be there. He says my name which grabs my attention. “Yeah?” I say. He then gets an adorably wicked smile and grabs hold of my sides and tickles me. His strong arms hold onto me tightly as he runs his fingers quickly along my sides, under my arms and knees back to my side and to my neck. He repeats this as I squirm and try to get away. We are both laughing so hard that I felt like I forgot to breath.

                Throughout all of the chaos he manages to get me pinned on my back with both of my wrist restrained in one of his hands and he is tickling me with the other. I laugh, squirm, squeal, and squirm again but resistance was futile at this point.

                “Stop, stop.” I laugh between gasps for air. He does stop tickling me but he doesn’t get off of me or let go. He knew that if he did I would pounce right back on him and get back at him where it counts right behind his knees and on the bottom of his feet. He sits there looking at me and smiling as large as he could.

                “Promise me that you won’t tickle me back and you can get up.” He says.

                Without an hesitation I say “promise.” and he lets go, but was wary knowing I am notorious for going back on my promises on this sort of thing only. This time it was different, this time I meant it. I was tired and at this point I wanted to look at the stars. “I will get back at him later though,” I thought briefly to myself. I stay lying on the blanket looking up at the sky, and he lies down beside me. I place my head on his chest and hear his heart beating at a slightly elevated pace due to the battle that he just fought against me. I close my eyes and notice everything around me. I notice the feel of the earth cooling from the suns abandonment. I tasted the salt on my lips from the sea water and the chips. I feel his chest rising up and down rhythmically. I hear his breathing and his heartbeat combining with the pattern of the ocean waves. Then I hear him humming. Humming the exact same song he was humming earlier that day. He even began to mumble some of the words.

“Wouldn’t be nice if we were older

Then we wouldn’t have to wait so long”

 

“Babe, What’s that song?” I ask once more.

Without answering my directly, “Beach Boys” he smiled “It’s the Beach Boys.”

Author's Note

This is a very special short to me. I wrote this the first year my boyfriend (now husband)
spent apart because of his military service. Tomorrow, he leaves for a deployment and so I decided to pull out an old writing and add some length and details to it. Enjoy.

Ignore grammar problems, please. However, I appreciate comments on the piece as a whole. Suggestions that could make the piece better. Tips and tricks for better grammar. Finally, do you actually want to read more of this particular story. (aka should there be a "second" installment)

Thank you for your time!

Reviews

[JayceeC]

Krissi,
first of all this is a great little vignette. I didn't pick up on too many grammar problems, except there was the spot when he took off his shirt that" to" should be "too." The other parts I took as writer's style rather than mistakes. There may be a few places where commas, could be added, but as a whole, this was well written. A bit sad, a bit romantic and full of emotion. The dread of the coming days was very evident, and conveyed well.

The only part that really had me puzzled was the significance of "Wouldn't it be Nice." My mind started playing the "why that song out of all of the Beach Boys many" game. Perhaps your age? That's really never indicated here beyond the fact that your our of high school.

I'm not sure and installment would be the thing unless you did it as a collection of short stories about deployment and the emotional toll, and the special moments made before he leaves. As a military brat, I remember deployments and homecomings. I think that would make a great collection of short stories.

[Krissi]

Thank you for your comments. I will be sure to make some of the corrections.

As for the song, that was a personal thing. I originally wrote this just for me, and so I never took the time to explain the significance. I suppose if I come back to writing some before and after installments I can have that added in.

The reason for the song is that we met April 1st and dated through the summer till bootcamp. During bootcamp he always wrote lyrics to songs that we listened to together. "Wouldn't be Nice" was one of the songs he quoted repeatedly. He liked the idea of when we were older we could be together, and married. It is silly, but that is why I picked it. At this time I was only 18. We dated two years and now have been married for 2 and 1/2. It is still one of our favorite songs.

I like the idea of creating a collection of stories like this. I have a lot of material to work with. :)