A Day in the Garden

                As Mary ran through the yard her laughter filled the air. With each step her tight brown curls bounced about her face.  The chill of the air redden her cheeks and the tip of her nose and her large brown eyes beamed with joy.  Mary was so proud that she could finally walk about on her own, even if it was clumsy waddle.   

                She stopped and with a look of amazement she looked up at me and wrinkled her chubby little nose.  She watched a butterfly sitting on a flower, slowly opening and closing its wings as it sucked up the nectar of the flower. 

                Captivated by the butterfly I watched as she slowly extended a plump little finger towards the butterfly and with immense concentration she carefully touched the wing.  At the feel of her finger the butterfly fluttered up and over Mary’s head and she let out a shrill giggle of excitement.  

                I couldn’t help but feel so proud that this little ball of joy was mine very own. I never knew that a mother’s love could be so immense.  I never knew that my life would be so forever changed by this little girl.

                Yes, I am forever changed because of that little girl.  Watching her in the garden that day all I felt was joy and shared her excitement over the simple joys of life.   I didn’t see the tubes that connected her to her oxygen tank nor did I hear the low beep of the machine in my hands that monitored her fragile little heart.  I enjoyed that wonderful day with my baby out in the garden of the hospital and will forever cherish it.

                That night I sat at her bed side as she said her last good night, the light in her eyes shining bright and full of love.  I kissed her gently on her forehead, her soft brown hair tickled my cheeks and I inhaled her baby scent.  I sat back to watch her small little eyelids flutter open and close like the butterfly wings from earlier as she struggled to stay awake.  I took her little hand into my own and stayed by her side holding her hand and she eventually gave in to sleep.

                Sometime in the night after I had drifted to sleep my little baby faded away and left this life.  I did not know that this was my final goodbye but I am grateful for it.   I was given this last gift from my daughter. A wonderfully beautiful day in the garden with her, not the machines, not the hospital and nursed but just my baby Mary and me.

                I will forever remember that my precious little baby girl was holding on to her mother’s hand as she parted this life and I know that she left knowing her mommy love’s her.