You'll Always Be My Soldier

Historical fiction where two men fall in love in a time where homosexuality is a sin. Heartbreak warning.

CRACK! BOOM!
Nothing but canons and gunshots could be heard across the battlefield as the Civil War was on its fourth month. The general of one side, Tremp Solido, could be heard during the quick pauses of sound as both sides prepared to fire again. He is 5’9”, looking down at his men in front of him, and is only at the age of 28. He has short blonde hair and grey eyes, with a birthmark of freckles shaped like a falling star on his left cheek, the men constantly questioned him about the mark, but he shrugged them off. He has a growing family at home; his wife of three years (with his job as a general, he doesn’t have much time home) is pregnant with his first child, and he knew he had to keep himself alive to go home to see them both.
“Get ready…aim…FIRE!” He threw his arm down as he yelled, glaring at the opposing side that was several hundred yards away. He hates being a general, hates being at war. He wants to go home to his wife, his friends, his parents. He doesn’t want to have to worry about who would survive the war and who wouldn’t. He just wants to go home.

•

“Michael, I want your news report, now!” Tremp yelled, walking into the infirmary. He was unable to be heard by the amount of moans and whimpering cornering every inch of the thirty-by-sixty foot tent area, so he tried again, shouting this time. There were men everywhere, with only a few inches of space between them to fit your foot to walk through. There was dried blood on the ground, and even in some spots, it was fresh.
“Sir, most of them have lost limbs by amputation!” Michael responded, having finally made his way from the center of the tent, to Tremp’s side. He was dirty, tired, and out of breath. His arms were bloodied, as he hadn’t gotten the chance to clean them off yet. “Some have bullet wounds that have hit arteries! That corner-“ he pointed to the back end of the tent, “-is dead. As in, they’re gone. I’m sorry, sir. We lost quite a few in this one, and quite a lot more from the looks of it.” Michael was 5’7”, with cropped brown hair and a shy smile. He’s the medic, and he’s good at what he does.
“Then get them out of here, we’ve got more wounded men coming. Patch up the limbless, they’re going home. Now! I’ll get some soldiers to assist you.” Tremp left the tent, walking slowly across the grounds, observing the men as they passed, and finally found a group of men huddled in a circle not too far off.
The last battle ended a half-hour ago, and men were everywhere as they prepared themselves for the next attack, ate while they got a chance, and regrouped. “Men!” Tremp called, walking up to them. “Michael needs your help at the infirmary delivering bodies. Go!” He looked down at them sitting on the ground and they stumbled over each other before getting up and saluting him quickly. “Yes, sir!” They said in unison before heading towards the tent. He let out a long sigh as they left, his eyes following them.
There was a large amount of yelling and cursing as one man was pulled by a few others on an ambulance. He was bleeding badly from the shoulder, soaking through a dirty rag that one of the men must have slapped on, and definitely unconscious. Tremp jogged over, saluting at the men quickly before looking down at the man in the cart. “Who is this? What happened to him? There’s no room in the infirmary right now, he’ll have to stay outside until it’s cleared.” He rushed, being careful to give his demands neatly, but wanting to say it all at once.
The man in the cart was not much shorter than Tremp himself, perhaps an inch or two below him, his midnight-black hair was a mess, and his face is covered in dirt and dried blood. He was still breathing, that was clear, but he was pale, covered in a layer of sweat. “Koga Kage, a private. Supposedly he was seen walking around by where that damn battle just ended, checking on the ones that fell, when he was shot. Thomas here saw it with his own eyes, he can tell you.” Tremp looked to Thomas, a man far smaller than the others. “I-I was just watchin’ ‘im, sir, in the trees. Makin’ sure he was gon’ be alright, when he fell to the ground. I saw the man who shot ‘im, so I grabbed me musket and shot at ‘im. Surely he went down fast, that man, he won’t be goin’ home. That’s fer sure.”
Tremp nodded slowly, listening to Thomas speak. “You did a good thing, Thomas. You men are dismissed; I’ll take care of Private Kage.” He saluted the men one more time as he dismissed them, watching them walk off. He returned his gaze quickly back to Koga, moving to his wounded shoulder. He picked at the shirt, trying to find the bullet hole, careful not to touch any blood, dry or not.
He was so intent on his motives that he didn’t hear Michael come up behind him several minutes later. “Anything I can help you with, sir? Or is this another deceased?” He jumped, spinning around to face Michael. “N-no. This man is clearly alive. He was shot, and I was searching for the wound for you, but I can’t seem to find it under all this blood. Did the men help you? Are the dead and free-to-go out yet? He needs to be out of the cold wind.” He rushed, almost panting at the end.
“Calm down, sir. Please. Yes, they helped me. Yes, they’re gone. Help me bring him inside and I’ll have a look-see.”

•

The next day Tremp was tailing Michael every chance he got, following him around as he worked, constantly asking him questions. “How is he? Is he going to live? He looks so young. Has he woken yet?” Michael would answer with just a simple shake of the head, focusing more on the task at hand. After a full hour of being pestered, Michael finally turned to him and told him to get to work. Tremp huffed, stared at him almost with a glare, and left.
He did his job throughout the day, making sure everyone was being taken care of correctly. He couldn’t shake the thought of Koga from his head, why was he having these thoughts? Why wouldn’t he leave? He shook them away and finally settled outside his own tent, looking up at the sky.
He thought back on his life before the war, getting married to a girl he didn’t love. He never much cared for women, but his father would be disappointed and kick him out of the family if he didn’t marry and have at least one child.
He sighed and rubbed his eyes. He hated thinking about his life. He felt better at war, away from his family. He didn’t have to worry about pleasing them while he was here. It made him almost happy.

•

It had been three weeks since the last attack, three weeks since they had brought in Koga Kage. It was late; most of the men were sleeping, or at least trying to. Some were wary for the next attack. Tremp slowly made his way across the grounds to the infirmary; he had been doing this every night. He would wait for the men to grow silent and then make his way over. He ducked his head into the tent, walking in slowly. He knew exactly which bed was his. There was a lot more room in the tent now, and Koga could actually sleep on something other than the hard ground. It hurt Tremp to find out only a couple of days after he had been brought in that Koga was only nineteen; it almost made his heart break.
“Tremp…” Koga smiled weakly, looking up at him. “I’m here,” Tremp replied, moving slowly onto the small bed that was made of rags and a few jackets. He put his arm under Koga’s neck, petting his hair, his other hand resting on his chest. He tucked Koga’s head under his chin. “How is the flu? Are you getting better?” He whispered, slowly rubbing at Koga’s chest the way he likes it. Koga had caught the flu not two days after being shot. They had difficulty getting the bullet out. The flu could be deadly, and Tremp didn’t want him to die.
“Do you want anything?” He asked, taking his hand and squeezing. He never could remember how this started, he only remembers the first moment he saw him on the ambulance, and then he was here, in his arms, holding him until he fell asleep. He would tell him how much better he looked, how much stronger he was getting. Sometimes Tremp would feed him whatever food he had left over, always making sure he had as much as he wanted.
“No…just stay here…it’s getting better, the flu. My wound is also healing. Give it a little bit longer, I should be alright.” He sighed softly, closing his eyes. “I hope so…” Tremp replied, kissing his hair. “I want you to be able to go home to your family that you told me about, your sister, right? Amanda…she sounds pretty.” He smiled, “just like I need to get home to my wife…and my daughter…” his smile faded.
“You make everything worth living for…” Koga whispered, already half-asleep. Tremp sighed softly and gently pet his hair, holding him until he heard snoring in his ear. He smiled, finally relaxing enough to fall asleep himself.

•

“Tr- General!” Koga shouted across the grounds, heading right to Tremp’s tent. He was cooking something on a small fire and looked up, grinning. “You’re out. You must be well then. Good. It’s been far too long.”
“A month. I was in there for a month. I don’t have the flu, love. My wound is healed, I can move about again.” He sat down in the grass beside him, stretching. “You want to eat with me? It’s nothing great, but it’s good enough.” Tremp held out a small pot of beans, chuckling. “Not as good as soup, but…” he shrugged, settling beside him. They were careful not to show any emotion in public other than, at best, friends. “Have you thought about what I said? Leaving with me…when the war ends, we can take off. We can run.”
“Where would we go? Anywhere we go, it’s all the same.”
“We can go that way-“ he pointed off to the north, “I heard it’s beautiful when the snow falls. We can go watch the snow fall together. We can build a home for the two of us, live together. Be free.”
“I’ve seen the snow fall once…the water in the lake freezes over…it’s a shade a blue that you don’t forget.” Tremp looked over at him, “it’s a shade of blue that’s in your eyes.” He smiled, handing him the pot. Koga chuckled and took it, touching his fingers gently, making it look like an accident.
“No wonder your wife loves you…you’re a genius with sweet talking.” He grinned, shoving a spoonful of beans in his mouth.
“If we weren’t in public, I’d kiss you right now.” Tremp said softly, staring at the small fire.
“Maybe one day we can…tonight, do you want to go to where I made life comfortable? No one knows where I was, it’s hidden, but we can see the sky if we sit just outside of the trees.”
“That’d be nice…yeah. I’d like that.” He smiled, kicking dirt over the fire. “But I have to do my duties first. Meet me here at dusk?” He stood, wiping his pants off quickly. “Sure. Yeah.” Koga stood, setting the pot down on the ground. “I’ll see you later.”

•

That following night, Tremp headed back to his tent, completely forgetting they had made plans until he saw Koga sitting there. He smiled, now remembering. “Ah, right.” He looked around quickly to make sure no one noticed them, “let’s go.”
He followed Koga, stumbling down a small hill in the dark. There was a cluster of trees, “there’s my stuff. That’s where I sleep. It’s warm and it protects well.” Koga grinned and walked up to the trees, peeking inside. “It’s not big enough for the two of us…” he took Tremp’s hand and sat in the grass, leaning against the bark.
“It’s nice…definitely a place I would have set up if I had the choice.” He sat close to him, hoping that they were hidden. It was quiet for a moment as they listened to the animals around them.
“Come with me,” Koga took his hand, looking up at him. “Don’t go back to them, come with me. We can live together in peace. No one will know.”
“I can’t, Koga. I can’t leave them. I can’t leave my duty.”
“Why not? If you’ll be happy…”
“Because I can’t!” He froze, waiting for someone to come to them. “I can’t…it’s bad enough I’m here with you, if we get caught-“
“Oh, you’re always so paranoid.” Koga rolled his eyes, “you’ve been doing this how many nights now, and it suddenly dawns on you that we could be caught? I don’t care, Tremp. I really don’t care. If we die, we die together.” He grabbed Tremp’s neck, kissing him. He stiffened, but then relaxed against him, pulling him closer. “I know…I know…” he sighed.
“Koga, I want you to have something…” Tremp said quietly after a moment, pulling a small chain out of his pocket. On the end was a silver and blue badge, “it’s mine…I’ve had it for quite a long time since I joined the army. I want you to have it now.”
“I can’t take that-“
“Don’t test me. Take it.” He pulled Koga’s hand open and put it on his palm. “Please…just hold onto it. Take care of it.” He smiled and closed his hand over it, watching him. “Okay…I’ll keep it safe. For you…for us.” Koga reached up and held Tremp’s cheek, kissing him gently, slowly, and Tremp kissed back with more force than before. “Koga, I-“
“There!” They looked up together at whoever had yelled.
“Cody…s**t, Cody!” Tremp got up in a hurry, noticing Cody wasn’t alone.
“You! Of all the sins to be doing!” Cody was taller than Tremp by an inch, his dark hair a mess, he was second-in-command. “I knew there was something fishy about you ever since he came into the picture! You’ve been slacking your duties.” Cody came at him now, the other seven men following close behind.
“Cody, listen-“ he didn’t. Cody grabbed onto Tremp’s wrist, kicked the back of his knee and forced him to the ground, tying his hands together.
“Not another word. I don’t care if we’re in the middle of war; you’re going to the closest town to get justified. The judge will figure out what to do with the two of you.” Two other men wrestled with Koga for a moment before knocking him down as well, tying him up. Koga whimpered, his chin smacking off the dirt.
“Both of you. Together. Let’s go!” He and another man pulled Tremp to his feet, the other two holding Koga. “Walk!” He shoved Tremp forward and he stumbled, but followed his commands. He looked over at Koga, giving him a small smile but knowing it was useless. “You’ll always be my soldier,” he mouthed, then frowned, swallowing hard. He knew there was no point in trying to reassure him.
They were already dead.

Author's Note

How is the pace? What do you think I should change/include/edit?

Reviews

[Marie]

This is really good; you told the story well. I've always been interested in the Civil war...this is an aspect I'd never thought of...

In the first paragraph you write that Tremps wife is pregnent with her first child. Then later on you have him tell Koga that he has to get hom to his wife and daughter...
If she'd had the baby by this time, you ought to make it clear.