Legally Happily Married

Are you legally and happily married? Jim is. -- Kind of a funny story about high school reminiscing. This is unedited and I only wrote it about ten minutes ago.

*    "Phone, Jim."
*    "I'm getting it -- I'm getting it."
*    The ringing stops.
*    "Hello?"
*    Jack's voice is chipper when he replies, sounding the same as he did in high school after drinking a case of beers. "Heya Jim! Been a while!"
*    I'm laughing and trying to avoid my wife's stare by moving around to the other side of the counter and turning my back to her. "Yeah, man. Great to hear from you. Been -- what -- ten months at least!"
*    "I know, too long!"
*    I am on the move again, walking around the couch as my wife comes towards me with a questioning look on her face. I only smile at her and walk a little faster back to my original position by the sink. With a sigh, Julianne plops down onto the sofa and waits.
*    Jack is laughing on the other end of the phone. "I'm gonna come over, Jim. I miss you and your family!"
*    "No, no, Jack. That's okay."
*    At the mention of Jack's name, Julianne is on her feet again. She looks livid. Throwing the oven mitt in her hand aside she runs to me and starts miming the action of hanging up the phone. I move away from her, but she merely follows.
*    "Come on, Jim. Please? It's been such a long time and I've been so gosh-darn lonely lately. What d'ya say? I buy the beers and meet you in the garage. Alright?"
*    "...yeah, Jack. That'd be swell."
*    "See you in a few, man!" Jack hangs up.
*    I let Julianne take the phone from my limp hand. "Yeah -- in a few."
*    "What did you do?" Julianne snaps at me. "Was that Jack? I mean, the Jack?"
*    I only nod. "He'll just be here for one beer. One!" I try to make my voice heard over her angry moan. "Just one, I promise, and then I'll have him out the door. I swear, Anne, I swear."
*    "The only swearing you do is when you're acting as a sailor..." Julianne mumbles before taking the phone and putting it back on the hook. "One beer. One. That's it. Then I want him out."
*    I can only nod. I grab three beers and head for the garage, leaving the door that connects it to the kitchen open. I open a beer and chug half the can as I watch Julianne moving about in the kitchen. I'm leaning against the hood of the car, legs crossed, one hand braced on the hood to support me and the other holding the beer. I tilt my head slightly to one side and say to her, "I remember why I asked you out."
*    She turns in surprise. "Why?"
*    "That fine a*s." I make a smacking motion with the hand that has been bracing my weight on the hood of the car, and she rolls her eyes at me.
*    "That explains a lot about last night."
*    I only smile and take a sip of my beer.
*    By the time I've downed my first beer and thrown away the can I hear Jack knocking on the garage door. I let him in and assure my wife one last time that it's only one beer and then goodbye before shutting the door to the kitchen. After all, Julianne's my fine a*s -- not Jack's.
*    "Jimmy!" He walks in and throws his arms around me in a friendly hug.
*    I laugh and hug him back, "Good to see you again, man, how's it been?"
*    "A drag." Jack says. I see his eyes taking in the garage. "Where's your wife?"
*    "She's busy -- we should leave her alone." I say this but I don't think Jack hears me. In my defense, I think Jack has selective hearing when it comes to my wife. Surprisingly, though, when he opens the door I do not catch him even taking one quick glance at my wife's a*s.
*    "Hey Julie!" He wraps her in a bear hug.
*    "Jack!" I watch her oven mitt go flying across the kitchen as he spins her around in circles, her hair falling over her shoulder and covering Jack's face. I can hardly make out his smile from between the brown locks of hair.
*    I retrieve the mitt from the floor and hand it it to her when her feet have once again returned to solid ground. I kiss her on the cheek and repeat to Jack, "Anne's busy making dinner, so we should go back into the garage."
*    "Oh hot damn!" I watch Jack sniff the air, "That smells so good. What're we having?"
*    I exchange a quick glance with my wife and say, "Well, she's making something special for Family Night, but she won't tell me what it is."
*    "Oh that's okay, I like surprises better anyway." Jack smiles and walks back to the garage.
*    I turn back to Julianne in time to catch her look of disgust at Jack's retreating back. She looks up at me and says, almost with a sob in her voice, "One beer. Then home he goes."
*    I nod and smack her fine a*s before heading back into the garage and shutting the door firmly behind me. I notice that Jack has discovered the beers and has already started his second. With a small sigh I turn to one of my work tables and clear away some tools before sitting on top of it. Jack soon joins me with his two empty beer cans. He flashes me a quick smile before smashing both cans on his head at the same time.
*    "Nice..." I say.
*    Laughing, he tosses them across the room where the hit the opposite wall and clatter to the floor. "Nice indeed."
*    "Still single?"
*    "Not proud of it, but yeah."
*    I can't imagine why.
*    "But it's fine, I've still got memories of the good ol' days!" he pulls out his wallet and shows me a picture of one of his girlfriends from high school.
*    I study the picture briefly but it is the one under it that catches my attention and holds it, "Oh-ho-ho! Tracy Lawrence. I remember her."
*    Jack smiles fondly at the picture, "Yeah. Damn nice girl with a damn nice body and even better moves."
*    "And the best thing about her was her damn nice sports car."
*    Jack smiles and nods. "Oh hell yeah."
*    We sit in silence for a moment and I stand after a while so that I can stretch my legs. I can hear Julianne rattling pots and pans around in the kitchen. I barely notice when Jack puts his hand on my shoulder. "Don't you ever miss it, Jim?"
*    I stare at him. I'm more than just a little confused. "Miss it?"
*    "You know," he holds up his wallet, "the old days."
*    I know he's talking about the photos of his past. I just shrug and say, "Everything turned out alright for me. Great wife, damn good eatin', and a nice set of kids. Not to mention a house, good paying job, and my sexy body and unbeatable good looks." I try to say all of this in a joking manner, but when Jack smiles it is a weak one.
*    "There's just...if we could go back, you know? There's a person I never got a chance to be with and it kills me because high school was my only chance."
*    I push his hand away, "Don't tell me you're just reminiscing so that you can get laid."
*    "No, no." he shakes his head.
*    I stare at him and wait for him to explain. When he doesn't I just shake my head and walk across the room to pick up the two crushed beer cans from the floor. I can't help but think they look like totaled accordions. I hear Jack's footsteps as he follows a few paces behind me.
*    "I mean, if you could, would you go back and do it again?"
*    "I'm happy." I reply, turning to face him again. My arm brushes against the wall as I switch the cans to the same hand and I scrape my elbow against the hard cement and get a small cut. I ignore it and just watch him.
*    "Well, what if...you know, you weren't" he pauses. "What about if there was something you could do now to fix it, but it wouldn't be necessarily right -- but you'd be happier for it and knowing you tried?"
*    "I guess I'd go for it." I shrug, and my elbow scrapes against the wall again. I feel the cut deepen and I grit my teeth a little.
*    He shakes his head. "But you know it's wrong to do. Do you still do it?"
*    I think about it for a moment. "Could I get arrested for it? Is it that kind of wrong?"
*    "No, it isn't. I've never known anyone to go to jail for it."
*    I shrug again, but this time make sure to move away from the wall a couple of steps. This puts me almost face-to-face with Jack. At the same moment that I shrug and plant my left foot on the ground to avoid getting my elbow into more of a scrape, I feel Jack's hands on my waist and him pressing his lips to mine. In shock, I drop both cans and this startles Jack to hear them both drop on the floor. I am frozen to the spot and since I don't move, Jack takes this as an invitation to continue. He presses me back against the wall and kisses me again.
*    I make an attempt to struggle away from him. Jack doesn't try to stop me from getting away. However, he also doesn't stop trying to kiss me. I don't know whether to laugh and look for the camera hidden in a corner of the garage or to burst into the kitchen and hide behind my wife. I suddenly realize that I don't hear my wife in the kitchen anymore and wonder where she's gone and what she's doing.
*    Jack is staring at me as I try to crawl farther into a corner, sliding down the wall, and I'll be damned if I'm not crying. He looks a little hurt but mostly confused and it's then that I realize my heart's beating like a the heart of a hummingbird.
*    "Jack..." I manage to gasp out.
*    Somehow I think that gasp came out the wrong way.
*    "Oh, Jim, I'm sorry." he kneels down in front of me. "I didn't mean to startle you."
*    "I didn't mean to lead you on..." I choke.
*    He smiles at me, "It's natural for you to be a little afraid. I mean, it is your first time, isn't it?"
*    I shake my head, "I'm married, Jack. I'm happily married." I try to stand up. "Legally married, Jack, legal and everything. I have the license to prove it."
*    He blinks at me in confusion.
*    "I am a legally, happily married straight man. Very much straight. Very much."
*    "I guess I...misunderstood..." he stands back up. "I'm sorry."
*    He heads for the door leading outside and opens it. "I guess next time I'll give more of a head's up before I come down, is that alright?"
*    "Perfectly."
*    I watch him walk out and close the door of the garage again. The last thing I see of him are his old pair of sneakers and then nothing. I draw my knees in and take deep breaths, try to stop crying, control my emotions enough so that I don't sob. When I finally walk into the kitchen I see Julianne sitting on the sofa watching something on the television.
*    I sneak up the stairs to our bathroom and scub my teeth three times over. I gargle with mouthwash a couple of times and then sit on the edge of the tub and weep. I feel violated, but how do you explain that to a woman when you work out everyday and are about six feet tall? I calm myself down before going back downstairs and joining my fine assed wife on the couch and wrapping my arms around her.
*    She seems surprised to see me. "Jack gone already?"
*    I nod into her chest, my chin knocking against her left breast. I feel her hands on my head, the long fingers tangling in my hair. I look up at her into the same big blue eyes I married five years ago underneath a white veil. They haven't changed at all. I kiss her neck and whisper, "I love you."
*    She smiles, "You're not getting lucky, if that's what you're aiming for."
*    I force a laugh. "No, not my intention at all."
*    I sit up and pull her into my lap and just hold her to me. She looks beyond confused. "You're breath smells like mint. Why the hell does your f*****g breath smell like mint?" She sniffs around my mouth. "New beer ingrediant?"
*    I smile and nod.
*    "Well I like it." she snuggles against me. "Buying that brand more often."
*    I chuckle and kiss the top of her head.
*    "Oh, by the way, I love you, too."
*    "Glad to hear it, Anne."
*    I am a legally happy married straight man. I wouldn't change that for anything.

Author's Note

PLEASE comment and let me know what you think. This is the first time I've EVER attempted anything quite like this from a man's POV. (Especially a straight one...)

Reviews

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I must say didn't see that coming. It flowed nicely through the whole thing and you developed each character really well. The story caught my attention and kept it all the way through. So very nice job on that. Now there is one thing i think that could be looked at again. I think that the dynamic between Jim and Jack could be developed further. I think it will lead up to the plot twist more and establish it in the story, give it a firm foundation. This is just so the reader knows the history between the two characters a little better. That's just me though and I could be way off the mark. Good story though, you did a very nice job.