Dear Mom and Dad

All that I wish I could say, but haven't found the strength to

I'm sorry

That's what I'm supposed to say

I'm sorry?

For what I don't know

It wasn't my fault

It wasn't me who did this awful thing

I was just a pawn

I was a thing

I was used

But here I am apologizing to you

I wanted to be all you think I am

The one you always trusted

The one you could depend on

To be okay

To never stray from the good path you laid

I'm the good kid

I'm the good kid. 

I'm sorry I couldn't find the words

And that it happened all so fast

I'm sorry that I trusted someone

Who'd throw me out like trash

I'm sorry that I played at being grown

I'm sorry we were alone

I'm sorry that the one word no

Was lost on my tongue

And I froze

I'm sorry that I wanted to leave this place

But see I needed space

I needed air

I couldn't breathe there

I couldn't breathe anywhere 

I was in pain

I needed to feel different pain

Or release it from my veins

To feel unchained 

Be cut free

Fight pain with pain

I didn't

I kept it in

I didn't

But

I wanted to

I'm sorry that he broke me

And there's nothing you can do

I'm sorry that I wanted to die

I'm sorry that I don't have the strength to say this to you

But I'm still alive

Despite it all I made it out

Because you raised the strongest woman that ever

Lived

And for that I will never apologize

Because from you I learned to rise

To fight another day

So I'm here

A victim of my past

Broken

But

Okay

Author's Note

One of the most difficult things I've ever written. As always, please leave your thoughts, comments, or critiques!

Love <3

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

Has the sound of one who erred badly and paid for it. There may have been a suicide attempt, but she survived it and now is older but wiser. Hopefully the parents will be supportive.