The Crying Bones Part 1: Death and faces of cringing

The Crying Bones Part 1: Death and faces of cringing

“Those horrors we see only makes us stronger when we get through them, for we are warriors of fear.”

By: KG3UNFORGN

I picked up her dead lifeless body onto my shoulders, crying oceans of tears, having a vengeful revenge of a demon.
I am cursing heavy sounds, even the birds singing croak to a b-flat. The gray clouds shattered its rain for me; I am thankful.
For this beautiful human, that will not face God’s gift of life again.
A grass knot trips me and I ascend to the ground while blood rushes to my brain. I am Terrified; dismantled into shame. There lay her body 3 feet away from my presence. I am clutching the dirt, nails braking in the soil. I Crawl to her and cried out “Help me Please, don’t leave me alone on despair!” I stand up in the face of the dark irony tree. I went to her body, and I kissed her forehead gently, ashamed I took her again on my shoulders.
I came to the stream of element humans all need, I put her down near the water and wiped the dirt off her soft cheeks. ”It’s going to be ok.” I grabbed the blank sliver knife from my pocket and stripped some flakes of grass. Rolling the increment of the plains I had cut, I dashed them into a clay bowl. I looked at the tasteless water, and could tell there was a sense of awe coming from it.
I touched her pale arm and held it close to my cheek; back and forth I went rubbing causing the spell of friction with her. I grabbed the clay bowl and submerged it into the fresh still water. Conjuring the water and the grass from the dense of the ground. “ Please drink this it will make you better; I promise.” Touching her lips, I drew the bowl close to her, sweeping away her hair. The bowl and the girl connected; with that she drank the mixture.
” Does that, heal?”
She nodded her head wispily and rested on my shoulder.
“ Thank God your moving, are you ok?”
She nodded again, kissed me on the cheek. My skin flourished into a red color,
” Lets keep moving, they may come again.”
I asked her if she was had the strength to walk, coming off from her knees she struggled to get to her feet. Shook down like a tree in a storm, she fell back on the harsh plains, scattering dust along with it; She shook her head no. I screamed in my mind, feeling her pain as she was crying. I slowly placed my hand in hers,
“ Its ok, ill carry you.”
Looking around, I saw there was nowhere else to escape but across the water. My eyes shuttered in agony and I took in a breath of the oxygen the dark trees produced. I lifted her on to my wary shoulders for the third time and I stepped in to the water of the forest.
Going into the water I notice the sensation that it was warm, instantly I felt relaxed and my pains of my back was gone.
“Amazing! This water could heal you.”
I swished my hand across her forehead and spoke,
“Don’t worry it will be ok, I promise you will be healed.”
She looked at me with her brown eyes and smiled. I gently went down on my knees and did a firm fireman carry to place her into the hot springs. I kept smiling as I held her in the water, I was glad I could save her. Indeed she was my deepest companion I had. Calling it love would be false advertisement, as friends were made for each other, there was no doubt about it. We had are things in common which seemed like we were a couple, but never less, we never confirmed it that we was. An hour passed as I retold my self the times her and me spent together.
“Feel, Better? We have to keep moving if we want to be safe.”
She grabbed my arm, pushing in my veins. I helped her up on her feet, as she came out from the steam of the bath.
“Here is your weapon.”
She looked at it and went dumbfounded.
“That-that weapon.”
I glanced at the tool in my hand and examine it in all areas to make sure it was safe. I did not see anything problems with the dagger in my hand.
“What’s wrong? Wrong choice of weapon?”
She smiled angrily, “Why the hell you would give me a dagger? You know I like normal hand fighting technique, besides give me my dagger.”
I laughed a little be to my self. I was happy she was healed and alright.

Author's Note

I am Editing This at the moment

Reviews

[The Perfectionist]

'dead lifeless' is redundant. Lifeless is a strong enough word on its own.

Are you more familiar with poetry? As far as prose goes, this is pretty bad. The writing feels more like it wants to be an epic poem than an actual story. Your word choices are odd and again, poetic. You have vivid imagery, but very bad structure and grammar. Don't make this something it doesn't want to be.

Your other problem, prose or poetry, is your mishandling of tone. This thing is dark and sad and serious right til the end when it's suddenly perky. I had to reread the last few lines to make sure I wasn't missing anything. The shift is abrupt and just looks silly more than anything else in a piece this short.

[nono]

Very interesting I love it. Holding a lifeless body that's deep. And how this is written I just love it. So descriptive. Nice job

[JENY]

Nice….very interesting….touching…

[joanofbooke]

this is great i cant wait to read the rest keep me updated;}

[Coyote Poetry]

Th story is very good so far. The beginning brought me in and the flow of the story held me. A woman who can defend her self is mighty cool. I like this chapter and look forward to reading more.
Coyote