Chapter 2: Home, Not So Sweet Home

The prologue and first chapter are a little slow. This is where things start to pick up. It gets better and better. I promise!

Chapter 2: Home, Not So Sweet, Home

I watched Seth dump his toy cars in the living room floor. He started lining them up and started racing them. His favorite almost crashed every time but got control in time to win the race. I couldn't help but smile about that.

Mom tapped on my shoulder, "Kitchen, now," There was no emotion in the words.

"How was school?" She started washing dishes.

            "Good. No fights. Principal talked to me about how he was watching me. I guess."

"Good. I am about to go to the store. Can you watch the boys? Make sure Sy and Mikey stay in the yard?"

            "I can handle them, Mom. Go."

"Alright," She started heading out the door then stopped to watch Seth play a minute. He was starting to rub his eyes. It was his nap time, "Pick up those cars when he's done."

            "I know," I sat in my spot on the couch. Mom closed the door behind her and Sy and Mikey came out of our room. They smiled.

"What?"

"Mikey says you are too little to be strong. I said he was wrong but he didn't believe me."

                "Okay? What do I care if he thinks I'm not strong? I have nothing to prove to anyone. Especially him."

Sy smirked, "Marie likes her men buff. Imagine how weak you look if Mikey tells her you are a wimp. Mikey is smaller than macaroni noodle."

Seth looked at Sy, "Who is Marie?"

"Your future mommy. You want a new mommy?" Sy was trying to get a rise out of Seth.

            "What?" Seth looked scared to death. His breathing was almost raspy.

I ran my hands through his blonde hair, "Don't listen to him, He's just trying to scare you."

            Sy turned the conversation back around, “Come on! At least flex! Please!”

"If I do will you leave me alone?"

            "Yes!" Sy and Mikey were both smiling and bouncing a little. I rolled my eyes and flexed. Mikey's eyes turned to slits, "You don't look that buff when your relaxed. Why?"

Sy answered for me, "He doesn't want to. John walks like he owns the world so you notice how he might actually be able too. Kacey walks more like someone who just doesn't want trouble. So you don't notice it."

Seth had stopped playing with his cars. His eyes were distant. I waited until Sy and Mikey went back to our room to bring him out of his trance, "What are you thinking about kid?"

He jumped and flinched, "Nothing!" He was a bad liar.

I grabbed his wrist, "Come here."

He climbed onto the couch and settled against me, "Is she going to get me again?"

He was talking about his mom. Sometimes it was hard to remember he was only two. He seemed so advanced. I was determined to make his childhood better than mine. I had no idea what Shana did around him but I could tell he had seen and been forced to understand more than almost any kid his age.

"No. I won't ever let her get you again. I promise."

"Cross your heart?"

"Yes. I cross my heart," I put my forehead to his so our green eyes matched. We both smiled a relieved smile at hearing the truth.

            He was asleep five minutes later. I put him in Mom's bed. Sy was standing in the living room when I closed her door. He looked like he wanted something, "Can you take us to the store?"

"No. Seth's asleep," I wasn't about to wake him up.

"I'll wake him," He tried to get to the door but I blocked it.

"No. Why do you need to go to the store?"

"There's a new laser gun and I want it."

"What money are you going to use to buy it?" I was keeping cool but Sy wasn't good at that.

"You have money don't you?"

            "That's for the house, Sy. I have to help pay for necessities. We can't afford toys right now," I felt bad for telling him no but he had enough toys.

            "We had enough before you got here," He mumbled.

I locked my jaw, "What?"

"I said, 'We are all better off without you! Especially Seth. Shana was better for him than you are. You are a terrible brother and father! Mom was happy until you got back. Seth is nothing but a crybaby. The more I think about it, the more I believe you deserved to have the crap beat out of you every day."

I didn't lose my temper often but he pushed all the right buttons for it. I took a deep breath as he ran to the bathroom and locked himself in there. I chased him and pounded on the door, "Get your a*s out here! You are going to tell mom what you said. We'll see what she says about it."

            "Shut the hell up! You are so needy! Why don't you just leave?"

I punched the door, the wood cracked slightly, "You are freaking lucky I came back when I did. If I didn't you'd be homeless!"

            "Dad left his life insurance and social security or whatever!"

"If I wouldn't have come home, Mom would have blown it on booze!"

"You are just like your father!"

I knew he said that just to piss me off and it worked. Instead of punching the door, I went for the door frame. It dented heavily, "Take that back you son of a-"

"KACANYAL!"

I whipped around to find Mom staring wide eyed at us.

Sy ran out, hysterical, "He pushed me! So I ran into the bathroom!"

I glared at him.

Mom had her hands on her hips, "Sy, go to your room!" She started in on me before he even closed the door, "What the hell? You could have seriously hurt him!"

"I didn't lay a hand on him. He's lying!"

"You know what? Maybe Seth should go up to Gladys's house," That was Syler's mom, Sy's grandma. She also hated me but adored Seth, "It'll give you a break and maybe you won't lose control again. He'll be safer."

            "Mom! You're not listening! I didn't hurt him!" My temper was starting to flare.

"He needs stability!" Her voice was sharp, her temper rising with mine.

            "He needs me!"

"Does he need you or do you need him?" Her voice was calm again. She was so sure she won this war.

            "Both. He needs me to love him. His life has been hell until now. He has seen and heard more than any kid his age should endure. He keeps me calm, in check. So yes, I need him. But he needs me more. Seth is my son, there's no denying that, especially after all the blood tests we went through. I will do anything to protect and be with him, even if that means leaving."

"You can't leave!" Mom screamed.

"I can't?" I stepped towards the door.

"You need me!" Her voice was high and desperate as I pulled it open.

I slammed the front door and took two steps toward her, "Do I need you or do you need me?" I shoved her words back at her.

            "Uh," She stammered.

"Who am I kidding? You don't need anybody and you don't care if they need you!"

"What are you saying?"

"You left us! You packed your bags and left Elizabeth and me in the house with that man! You didn't come back until she was gone! That's what I'm saying."

"You saying it's my fault she died?"

"No! I'm saying you could have been there for me when I needed you! Now I don't need you. I stay here for you! Without me you'd be a miserable wreck and both you and Sy would be living on the streets. I already have more money than you. I pay for everything. You are the one that needs me."

She poked my chest, "And just where did you get all that money?" Her eyes accusing. She was right. It was from fighting and selling.

"You think that’s my fault? I needed money and no one was helping me so I helped myself. Something you need to learn."

She raised her hand as if to slap me. I turned away from her and stared at the wall. My nose twitched as I tried not to look disgusted.

She put her hand down, "I wasn't going to hit you."

"Whether you did or didn't, you thought about it. You wonder why I have anger issues. At least I can control it enough I don't let it slip. I have never lifted a hand at Seth or Sy. I'm freaking done."

            Mom's arms fell around me. Almost all her weight was on me, "Kacanyal, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it."

            "Hush!"

"Don't tell me to-"

"Mom! Shut up!" She must have heard the urgency in my voice because we both stood quietly. I was right. Seth was wheezing. I jumped over the couch and grabbed the inhaler from his backpack. I pushed open Mom's bedroom door and found Seth heaving hard, trying to get oxygen. I placed the inhaler in his hand and to his mouth. He pressed twice and took a deep breath inwards.

            I carried him to the living room. I rocked him gently, "What happened?"

"I heard you and Grandma yelling and I got scared."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to get so loud."

"It’s okay, Daddy. I love you. Don't go anywhere," He was playing with the tag in the back of my shirt.

            "I'm not going anywhere, kid."

His arm relaxed and fell limply down my back. Mom smiled shyly, "I'm sorry, Kacanyal. I didn't mean it. I just have word vomit."

"I know. Its fine," I remembered Sy and Mikey. I fumbled to get my phone out of my pocket and checked the time.

Mom looked to my room, "Do you want me to take Mikey?"

"No. I will. Here, just hold him. If he wakes up just rub his back or give him icing. Either will do," I whistled as if calling for a dog, "Mikey!"

Mikey walked right past me with his head down. I handed Seth to Mom and followed Mikey to the car.

            He gave me directions to his mom's house. The rest of the way was silent. He grabbed my arm as I parked.

            "Are you okay?"

"I don't want to go in alone. Can you walk me to the door?"

"I don't know," My eyes drifted to John’s truck.

"Please?" His eyes pleaded pitifully.

"Fine," I turned off the car in time to hear a scream and see Marie run out the front door. Mikey squealed in return. I jumped out of the car. She stopped suddenly and glared at me, "What are you doing here?"

"Dropping off Mikey. Are you okay?"

John walked out of the house. He put an arm over Marie's shoulders.

Marie shrugged, "Yeah, just having trouble with Mom. She slept with my cheer captain. I bet you heard that already. Everyone knows Marie's mom is a s**t!"

"I hadn't heard," I looked her in the eyes. They were so blue and beautiful, "Well, I guess I can go now."

Mikey hopped out of the car and stared not very menacingly at John.

I watched them all walk back into the yard. John whispered in Marie's ear and she slapped him. She took a few steps back. Mikey ran into the house quickly. Marie and John were both in shock. John pulled back his fist and all the sudden I was between them. I caught his fist. It didn't sting but I could tell there was a lot of force in it. Someone who wasn't used to getting hit would get hurt.

            Marie and John were both stunned a second. He let his fist drop out of my hand, "What do you think you’re doing? This has nothing to do with you, so get lost."

I took a step closer. He was a few inches taller than me and had over fifty pounds on me. Through his mind he had a huge advantage. I could see it in his eyes. We were nearly chest to chest, "Touch her again and I will make you sorry."

He grabbed her arm roughly. I grabbed his arm and twisted. He moved with it so his arm was contorted behind his back. I pushed his arm up so it hurt like hell, "Now apologize," My voice was calm.

            "No."

I pushed his arm up more so I knew it was an almost unbearable pain, "I have broken an arm exactly like this before. From what I hear, your football career is all you have, so think hard about your next words."

He was whimpering and sniffling. Finally he spit it out like a curse word, "Sorry!"

"For?" I took a little pressure off.

            "I'm sorry I hurt you, Marie. I won't do it again, I promise."

I held him longer. Marie's eyes were wide, "It's fine. Kacey, let him go."

            I let him up. He took a step towards her. She turned away, "Just go, John."

"Fine. Whatever." He wiped the tears from his eyes to glare at me then left. Marie’s knees buckled and she cried in her lawn.

            I just stood there awkwardly, "Uh. I guess I'll go. I'm uh sorry if you really liked him."

She jumped up and threw her arms around me. She smelled of fruit shampoo, "No. Thank you. No one has ever stood up for me like that."

            I had my hands in the air careful not to touch her, "No problem."

"You could have been really hurt. Are you stupid?" She let go to look me in the eyes. Her eyes were still misty.

            "He wasn't going to hurt me. I've dealt with way worse," I shrugged it off.

"Wait, what?" Her eyes were squinting as if I said something weird.

            I backtracked quickly, "I got in a lot of fights in my old school."

"Why?" Her eyes were dry but curious which was even worse.

I scratched the back of my head and snickered, "You ask too many questions. You got a pen?"

She looked confused then put her finger up to tell me to stay put for a moment. She ran into the house. I could tell she was athletic. The muscles in her long legs flexed as she ran. Her shorts left a lot to the imagination. As she was inside I put my hands in my pockets and took in my surroundings. Her grass was green even after the dry summer. Her parents watered it. Or gardeners did. I heard her walking out but didn't look at her. I didn't want her thinking I was interested.

            She waved the pen in my face, "Here, what's it for?" Her eyes kept flickering to my shirt and jeans.

I grabbed her wrist lightly. She sighed lightly then bit her lip. I smiled and uncapped the pen. I wrote my number on her wrist, "Don't call unless it's an emergency, and a damn good one at that. Got it?" My smile was gone.

She nodded a bit stunned at the harsh tone.

I nodded back and went to my car. As I opened the door, she slammed it shut again, "What are you hiding?"

I stayed calm. Only my heartbeat picked up. No emotion was shown on my face, "Why would you ask that?"

            "You stick to the back, the basics. No one knows you. You showed up out of nowhere," She was putting pieces together.

I raised an eyebrow, "Careful, Marie. You don't want to get mixed in with me."

"Oh, Yeah? Why not?" She was trying to get me all flustered. It wasn't working

"You don't even know me. I am trouble. That's all you need to know," I touched her nose. I opened my car door and drove off before she could find her voice again.

When I got home Mom was pacing, "What took you so long?"

"There was a situation," I started to explain.

"I bet you slept with her! Kacanyal! Marie is an innocent girl. Her mom is my best friend and I will not let you take advantage of her!”

            "Whoa! Whoa! What are you talking about? I helped her out. I didn't bang her. Geez. I think she's a little too smart for that."

            Mom's eyes were slits, "Kacanyal, Swear to me you didn't touch her in any way that could end with another grand-baby."

I grabbed her face and looked her dead in the eye, "Mom, I have not done a single thing to mess with Marie's innocence. I swear."

Mom measured the truth in my eyes, "Then why is Sy running around saying you are doing her?"

"I don't know. He started that in the parking lot. I don't know where he heard that."

            "Probably from your dirty minded friends," Mom muttered then yelled, "Sy!"

He came in with his head down, ashamed of what he said before.

            "Where did you hear about doing it?" Mom asked nicely.

"You were talking about it with Roxy. You said you wanted to do it with someone. I asked you what you meant and you said it meant bed-wrestling when two people love each other," He said all this without looking at me.

Mom blushed, "Oh, uh, well. Go back to your room."

I grabbed his shoulder and pulled him into a hug. He tensed then sobbed hard, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."

I looked towards the kitchen table. Seth was pretending not to watch. His mouth was covered in icing.

I rubbed Sy's back and nodded lightly, "I know. Now go get ready for bed."

"Can we watch a movie?"

Seth crawled off his chair and ran to us, "We'll go to bed right after!"

"Please!" They begged together. Neither was looking at Mom. They were both focused on me saying yes. I finally gave in, "Fine. What movie?"

They chose a movie and I put it in. Seth cuddled close to my side and Sy leaned on Mom. Not even half way through the movie they were all sleeping. I turned it off and carried Seth then Sy to our room. Mom was sleeping hard. I shook her lightly and she started crying in her sleep. She kept mumbling, "Stop hitting me. Stop. Please."

I pulled her into a sitting position by her shoulders. She opened her eyes, they were still teary, "Oh sorry. Must have fallen asleep," She laughed, having no idea she just dreamed about being hit over and over. That night my dreams weren't much different.

            On Friday, Mom picked up the boys after school so I went to Tyler's. The guys were laughing about Mom freaking out about me "sleeping" with Marie. I didn't tell them the whole truth. I had said that I had talked to her. I didn't mention John. Tyler had definitely sensed the new found hatred he had for me though.

Jason's cigarette was bouncing in his mouth. I told him not to light it because I had to go home and Seth's asthma would act up. Rose didn't think the story was funny, "What's wrong with you and Marie?"

"She's not quiet my type," I smiled.

"Oh, you mean you could actually, maybe, get serious with her?" She pretended to be super frightened.

"I don’t want to and I’m not going to do anything with her anyways."

"She's too good for you," Rose stated.

            "Exactly, so we agree."

"Why do you say that?"

I grabbed my head, "Rose, stop. I am not in the mood. I've had a long week."

Jason had a cigarette in his palm, "You need this more than me."

            I put it behind my ear.

Tyler was watching Rose reach into the top cabinet, "So what does your mom think about you going to this party?"

            "Oh, s**t!"

Every one of their heads snapped towards me, "You didn't tell her? You have to go! This is at Molly's house. This is the biggest and best party. You remember last month?"

"Yeah. Well most of it."

Tyler started shoving me out the door, "Go! Get home so your mom doesn't freak out!"

"Okay. Okay. Come get me at five. I'll get her to let me go."

"You better. Molly is going to be mad if she doesn't get her Kacey time," Rose winked.

Molly was an ex-girlfriend. I told her she could have a relationship with me or me in the bedroom. She chose the latter.

            When I got home there was a fancy, strange car in the driveway. I shut my car door softly and walked as quiet as possible to the front door. I heard Mom's laughter and two others. One was very familiar.

They were talking about Seth, "He is too cute," Marie's voice.

"Yeah. He is very shy though," Mom explained, "I wonder where his daddy is?"

Everything was quiet, "Wait! His dad comes to visit?"

Mom laughed, “You don't know?"

"Know what?"

I opened the door and Seth ran to me, "Daddy!"

I picked him up, "Hey, kid."

He buried his head in my neck. He pointed at Marie.

"What?" I tried not laughing,

Roxy's eyes were scanning me, catching on every piercing and scar. Her eyes kept darting to the cigarette I had behind my ear. I quickly put it in my pocket.

Marie's face was priceless. Her jaw looked unhinged, "Your his, his,"

"Dad," I finished.

"But you are only-"

"I'm seventeen."

            "So you were-"

"Fifteen when he was born."

"Wow! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Was it your business?" I said it in the way that didn't sound rude.

Mom caught it though, "Kacanyal!"

I held Seth with one arm and led her to the kitchen with the other, "Hey, can I go to the party tonight?"

            "No. We have guests."

"Please!"

"Fine! Be rude!" She turned on her heels and walked out of the kitchen. Seth wiggled and I put him down. He smiled, "Who is that?"

"Who?"

"The pretty girl out there?"

"Marie?"

"I like her. Do you like her?"

"She's a friend, I guess," I shrugged.

Seth made a show of thinking by tapping his forehead, “I have decided!" He pronounced.

"What did you decide?" I laughed thinking he would say something about him marrying her or something cute and funny.

            "She's my mommy," He stated as if that's all it took.

Not a lot made me freeze, but that did, "What?"

He ran out of the kitchen to the living room. He called out, "Mommy!"

I wasn't running but I caught him in the doorway. Marie, Mom, and Roxy were all staring. I smiled apologetically, "Sorry, he's just a little over excited."

"Mommy!" Seth was stretching out as far as he could out of my arms towards Marie. She was wide eyed and shaking her head.

            "Seth! Stop! That's not your mom." I whispered in his ear but he still struggled.

"Mommy!" I could feel his tears hit my arm. I pulled him back into the kitchen. He gave up and leaned against my shoulder and cried. Through every sob I heard him say it again. I felt bad and I wished I could give him more when Marie walked in. She put her hand on his back, "What's wrong?" The question was more directed towards me.

            I covered his ears and whispered, "I'll tell you later."

She nodded and got behind me so he could see her. He wiped his eyes, "Mommy?"

"I don't think I'm who you think I am," She tried sweetly.

Seth nodded though, "Yes huh! You are Marie and are very nice. I want you to be my mommy. Please!"

My chest was tight with hurt. I wasn't hurt that he needed her but that I had messed up by even being with his mom. For a second I wished Marie was his mom. She didn't seem the kind to leave a two year old alone for eight hours. I mentally slapped myself in the face.

            She grabbed him under the arms and pulled him out of my arms. She cuddled him close to her almost the exact same way I had him. I could hear him breathing in her scent. I shook my head, "Marie, you don't have to do anything."

She looked into my eyes a second then ran a hand through Seth's blonde hair, "Baby, if it makes you feel better, I'll let you call me mommy."

He nodded, "Thanks."

I watched them a moment. I put my hand on Seth's back. It was almost as big as my hand spread out. Marie nearly read my mind, "I've got him for now. You don't have to worry."

            His breathing was heavy and I knew he was sleeping.

I went to my room and shut my door. I pulled off my shirt. It was only four twenty. I pulled two shirts out of my drawer. One was a button up; the other was a normal T-shirt. Molly hated my button up but I liked to wear it just to make her mad. I left them both on my bed. I changed my lip ring and eyebrow ring to silver ones. I heard my door squeak lightly as someone came in. She was quiet but her breath caught when she saw my back.

I turned around, "Well, hi there."

Marie was trying to take in my tattoos. Her eyes kept flickering from my torso to my eyes and back again. I took a careful step towards her and she completely composed herself, "I didn't know you had so many tattoos."

            "Well, Yeah."

"What do your arms say?"

I showed her the one with Seth's name on it. She stepped closer to examine it. Her finger traced it and I hoped she couldn't feel my pulse quicken.

            "What's your other one say?"

"Nothing," I quickly lied.

            She tried looking but I put it behind my back. She turned away from me and I had the urge to grab her and kiss her. I bit my lip ring quickly. I couldn't think of anything to say. I felt jumbled up.

She was taking in the small room with three beds, "So where's Seth's mom?" She quickly back tracked, "I'm sorry, that's none of my business."     

            "No, it's fine. She is in rehab. She was into hardcore drugs. We just messed around a few times and that's how Seth came along."

"So she was a druggie and that's how you got him?"

"I didn't know I had a kid until I moved in with my mom. She had had him for a few weeks before I got here. Shana had left him alone for eight hours in her house. Her mom called it in and got my mom's number because Shana had told her it was definitely my kid."

            "Oh. He for sure looks like you. You want to know something?" She was facing me again, taking slow deliberate steps towards me. I backed away from her, right into a dresser.

            "Uh," I stammered.

"This tattoo is my favorite," She put her arms over my shoulders so her fingers lightly brushed my back with the wings tattooed on. I was forcing myself not to shiver. She moved her finger in a small circle. I finally shivered. She smiled. She knew what she was doing.

"Stop," I mumbled.

"What did you say?" She whispered real close to my ear.

            "Marie," I smiled. I had never wanted someone so bad and so fast.

"Kacey," She whispered again.

I went weak kneed. Neither of us was moving. I put one hand on the small of her back and the other on her face. No girl had ever fit more perfectly. I just wanted to close the gap between us. Her eyes were closed. All her weight was on me. I closed my eyes and leaned in to kiss her.

A car honked from outside. Mom yelled from the living room, "Kacanyal! Marie! What are you guys doing in there?"

We both snapped out of it. Marie shouted back, "I'm helping him pick out a shirt."

Neither of us could look away, "I'm sorry."

Marie picked up my button up and held it against my chest, "I like this one. This was too fast. We need to slow down."

"We shouldn't be moving at all. I'm sorry, Marie. I was out of line," I was buttoning my shirt.

She looked confused, "Wait what?"

            I looked down at my shoes. I flattened my collar, "This can't happen again."

"Okay?" She left my room ahead of me, her hips swinging wider than necessary. I swear it was just to make me suffer. Tyler laid on his horn again. I kissed Seth's forehead before leaving. Mom grabbed my face right as I opened the door, "No drugs or drinking."

"Okay, Mom. I'll be home by midnight."

"You better Kacanyal Martin Jones or I'll be hunting you down."

"Whatever," I laughed as I jogged to Tyler's car. I sat in the front seat. Rose leaned forward from the backseat, "She looks like she's gonna miss you."

            I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, Mom is a little protective."

Rose grabbed my shoulder, "I was talking about Marie."

            I watched out the window as Marie sighed. Her elbows were in her arms. She looked really upset. I felt bad but it was better to not get involved with her.

Author's Note

Please don't just be nice (sugarcoating is okay) but honest feedback won't hurt my feelings. I'm not a softy. Too cliche? Too choppy? Grammar errors? HELP ME! Thank you!