Chapter 41

We chose a smaller airport and were smart in doing so. It was hardly crowded and with the help of hats and coats we remained almost completely unseen. I soon learned we were headed to Hawaii, The place where Phoenix and Justin fell in love. Gag me. The place where Jo left me so she could go to school and fall I love with Ryder. Gag me. It was the last place I wanted to be, but I ended up sitting in my plane seat anyways. I chose to buy two tickets right next to each other so that I had time all to myself. There was only one person that I wanted to see, and he was dead. The plane shot out on the runway and I watched as all the trees slowly disappeared. I had gotten my tickets in first class. The Oresons didn’t even imagine getting that many tickets in first class not anymore anyways. I wanted my alone time.

My body shoved the chair back and I reclined happily. A flight attendant walked up to me and immediately recognized me, “You’re Collin Hanks.” She whispered with a stupid smile on her face.  She was holding a handful of blankets.

                My arm extended and I took the blanket from the top, “Yes I am.” The warm fabric covered my body and I slid the window cover shut. When I turned she was sitting in the empty chair next to me. I sighed and leaned my head back.

                “You are the luckiest human on the face of this earth.”

                I looked at her, “I’m not human...Anymore, anyways.”

                Her eyes got huge. They were a light brown like maple syrup. I’m sure that most people would’ve found her attractive but she did nothing for me. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a neat bun and she wore the usually blue cardigan and tight A-line skirt.  Her face held a little too much lipstick for my taste and not enough eye makeup. “You aren’t human?”

                I shook my head and my powers flick on and looked straight at her. I hadn’t fully developed mind reading, but on weak minds it was like taking candy from a baby. “You think your boyfriend is cheating on you.” I paused and looked into him, “He is.”

An O shape filled her lips and she leaned back in the chair, “I knew it.” The pillows spilled onto her lap. “Would you cheat on me?” Her brown eyes poured out pain and she was looking for acceptance from someone.

                “I wouldn’t date you.” I wasn’t the one to give it to her. She sniffed away some tears. I wasn’t this person. Quickly I changed, “I’m gay.”

                She smiled, “so is everyone else.”

                “You’re a flight attendant. What do you expect?”

                She tried to bring her spirits back up, but I saw they couldn’t get far enough. “Do you believe that there is a special someone out there�"even for me?”

                I nodded, “I do.” This was true. I always believed that. I never thought that I had more than one in my life, “You’ll find him.”

                “But what if I don’t?” She turned and looked at me. She realized what she was doing. “I’m so sorry I keep bothering you with this, I should go.”

I grabbed onto her wrist and she sat back into the chair, “someday when you don’t expect it you will find the one you are meant to be with. When you find him, don’t ever make a promise to let him go.”

My hand left her wrist and I was overcome with emotion. I pinched the bridge of my nose and tried to get a hold of myself. I kicked at the seat in front of me pissing of the man sitting in it. He looked back with a glare. My chest tightened, my breathing hardened, and tears were again appearing in my eyes. The woman took my hand and wrapped her fingers around it. Nothing came out of her mouth, no words of advice, nothing to try and cheer me up. She just sat with me silently. No one had ever done that with me before. Everyone felt that they needed to somehow keep my mind off the situation, but what I needed was to think about it. Everything bad that had happened in my life was just pushed to the back of my mind. It was never really dealt with, and now I had the opportunity.

All the images again appeared across my mind once more. I dissected each situation with my mind. The first I needed to deal with was the breakup of my parents. I tried to convince myself that it wasn’t my fault. But I couldn’t seem to find that conclusion, so I stuck with the fact that we all played a part. Next was when my father left. Why he felt that he needed to leave us? I don’t know. He could’ve stayed and fixed all the problems. Instead, he just ran? I knew that it was his choice and I had nothing to do with it.

The flight attendant went back to her job and I continued to focus on everything that had gone wrong in my life. After my father left everything seemed to get a little more complicated for me to handle. The image of Phoenix trying to say goodbye to me was still fresh in my mind. I remembered the way his eyes seemed to show the torture that he was going through, but he still had the choice. I didn’t know Rylan yet. I didn’t know the love I had for him. I loved Phoenix and he left me. He left me alone without explaining a single thing and leaving me to find it all out on my own. His body flew straight into the air that night leaving me to face the world on my own. I had no explanation for it, none whatsoever. There was no reason for him to leave. He could’ve fought for me. Rylan would’ve understood and then he could’ve gone back home to complete his duties. Now where was I? I am alone, depressed, and heartbroken.

                I didn’t want to fix anything else for now. Instead I curled my knees up and placed my feet on the seat next to me. I put a pillow behind my head and closed my eyes. Pain blasted from my chest and I coiled tighter and kicked at the seat where my feet were resting. The whole first class was beginning to get worried about me. They probably thought that I was some convicted killer and I was about to go crazy. People sat as far away from me as they could. I tried as hard as I could to calm myself down but nothing seemed to be working.

                Finally the attendant from before came up. Her slender hand touched my bent knee, “Are you alright?” There was no answer from me. I could hardly breathe let alone talk. She knelt down at the end of my row and scooted a little closer. “You’re scaring the passengers.”

                “I’m sorry.” I blubbered away like an idiot. She crawled in the aisle to the top of my body. Her hands caressed the top of my head. My hair, that was still wet from the earlier episode, was now accompanied by sweat and tears. She didn’t seem to mind as she cradled my head in her arms. With her help she ended up sitting under me with my head resting on her lap. My hair sprawled across her wrinkle free skirt. I can bet she’d never dealt with this before.

Her fingers brushed through my hair softening it. The passengers soon realized that I wasn’t going to kill them, if anything I’d just take myself. Now they were just annoyed by my constant sobs. In the back of my mind I felt someone trying to get in. I blocked even harder against the irritation. It could only be one person and he was the last person in the world that I wanted to see or hear.

***

The sobs never really went away, but the tears stopped. Periodically my lungs would gasp in for some air that never seemed to come. My hands clenched the woman’s knees that were holding me up, “My name’s Emma, by the way.” She was leaned back and rubbing my shoulders.

                “I’m Shiloh Khtulu or Collin Hanks, whichever you prefer.”

                “Which do you prefer?” I began to realize how sweet her voice was. It was the high pitched musical tone that relaxed me.

                “Shiloh, that’s what Rylan called me.”

                She inhaled fully, “Tell me about him.”

                “What?” I turned over in her lap and looked up at her pale face. She had let her long blonde hair down and it sprawled out across her shoulders.

                Her bright smile lit up my face when she looked down, “Tell me about him. All I’ve ever seen is news coverage.”

                “Well,” I’d never been asked to talk about him, “He was amazing.”

                She laughed and closed her eyes, “He was the love of your life and all you can say is he’s amazing.”

                “No,” I defended myself as best I could. “He was so kind and treated me so gently, like I was breakable.”

                “You obviously are.”

                I sat up, “Am not!” I barked.

                She opened her eyes and turned to me. “Look at yourself Shiloh, you’re broken.”

My face tilted downward and I looked at myself. I had lost a lot of muscle mass again along with weight. I thought for a moment, I hadn’t eaten in about a week. The throbbing returned to my torso but it moved lower into my stomach. My emaciated skeletal hands wrapped around my stomach and I looked up at Emma. Her golden eyes were watching me suspiciously. A brilliant grin emerged on her face. The button lit up as she pressed it. I leaned back in my chair and waited for the food that was being brought to my seat.

                “I’m very fragile, aren’t I?”

                “Probably more fra-gee-lee than that leg in, A Christmas Story.”

                We both laughed, Rylan and I spent most of our Christmases every year watching that movie. My mind went to us sitting on the couch together wrapped in a giant blanket. His arms were around me holding me close like he never wanted to let me go. “He was my best friend and that’s something I can never forget. I could tell him everything and he wouldn’t care. If I told him I didn’t love him anymore he would continue to love me and be there for me.” A man stepped to our aisle with a tray and started dishing out my food. I thanked him and he left.  “He was always looking out for me, wondering if I was alright. He would die for me.”

                “He did.” My head shot to her. “If he hadn’t pushed you down would you be alive today?”

                I thought about it. That discus was right where my body would’ve been. At the time I didn’t have my powers on. It would’ve crushed me.  “No,” I answered truthfully.

                “He obviously cared enough to take his own life for you.”

                I sighed, “He shouldn’t have had to. It’s all Phoenix’s fault.”

                “Don’t blame it on anyone else,” She snapped quickly catching me off guard. “That’s something I’ve learned through my whole life. Even though it was someone else’s fault you need to just take it in and accept it for what it is.”

                I stared at her. My brain couldn’t actually process her information, “What?”

                “I know it’s a little crazy, but if you focus on what someone else did you aren’t looking out for yourself.”

She was one hundred percent correct I cared way too much about what Phoenix was doing then I was about myself. I wanted to get revenge from the Oresons so badly I had completely forgotten to eat. The pilot came over the sound system, “If you look to your right you will see that we have reached Hawaii. We should be landing in Honolulu in about ten minutes.”

                Emma looked over at me and grinned. The seat belt held me tight into the seat, “Has it really been five hours?” I asked between bites of my dinner.

                “Five almost Six.” She folded the blanket that she pulled off of my lap.

                I pushed my tray away. My stomach gurgled uncomfortably. My body shifted in the chair as the plane began to touch down. Emma also turned toward me, “It was very good to meet you.” I whispered so that no one else would hear.

                “It was good to meet you too, Shiloh.”

                My hand took hers and put them on my knees, “Thank you so much for this talk. It’s really helped me realize a lot.”

                “You talk like I’ll never see you again.”

                I looked up to her curiously, “You won’t.”

                “Who’s to say I won’t see you again?”

                My fingers played with hers on my knees. “Um, well then…” I didn’t know what to say.

She took her hands from mine and rubbed my wrists, “I’ll see you again so don’t worry about goodbyes here.”

                Was that a promise? The plane touched down and we jostled in our seat. “I better get going so I can help clean up.” She unbuckled the silver fabric around her. My hand wrapped around her wrist tighter. I didn’t want her to go. She’s the only one that understood me. I didn’t want her to be gone. A burst of heat shot through my whole body and I got a sick feeling. As I looked up to her body I could’ve sworn I saw a glimmer of red and black in her eyes. My hands pulled away in fear as I looked up to Emma. “Are you alright?” She asked questioningly. A different kind of darkness took over me and I felt a feeling I had never felt before.

                Emma didn’t seem to notice the terror running through me, I smiled as best I could and answered her with a crack in my voice. “I’m fine, I’ll just miss this.” I lied carefully.

                “You’ll be alright.” She spun around and I was now looking at her in a different way. I think she was something more than what I saw before. Her hips swung in my direction as if she was flirting. My body sunk back into the seat, I felt uneasy. What had I been exposed to? I looked over my hands to make sure I hadn’t been stuck with anything.                

                The time came for us to leave the plane. I followed the train of people out of the aircraft. We walked off into the terminal. All the Oresons were standing around waiting. They all looked like they had a horrible flight in coach. Tex looked at me and saw the worry in my face. His eyes shut and I felt him tugging at my mind. I opened it up as I walked up to them. By the time I reached them Tex had all that he needed. I felt a strange connection with Tex. He felt the same pain that I felt. Different people hugged me and asked how my trip was. I answered them all, but continued to speak to Tex in my mind. The group started to walk out of the airport. So I asked, “Where are we going?”

They all looked at each other again and then back to me, Phoenix spoke “We’re not done travelling yet.”

                I nodded and Jazz appeared under my arm, “So are we going to like another Island.”

                “Something like that,” Phoenix mumbled and grabbed Justin’s hand.

                I stopped dead in my tracks. Jazz kept walking straight out from under me. Everyone turned and formed a big mass together, it was them against me. I asked again this time a little more forceful, “Where are we going?” My chest heaved and my shoulders squared. Each pair of silver eyes stared back at me, “Where are we going?” I hissed again under my breath.

                “It’s an island off the mainland.” Eileen tried to pitch in to make me feel more comfortable.

                My body began to back up from the crowd. In my mind I knew exactly where we were going, Khtulu. “No, I won’t go there.”  As I walked backward the whole crowd walked forward toward me, “No.” I said over and over again. I couldn’t handle that, knowing that Rylan was there once. I could hardly stay in my house how could I be where he grew up? Plus would his family be there? Of course they would be. They would want to meet me. My chest tightened and I began to panic. The room spun under me but I kept my head in control. Sweat beaded up on my forehead but didn’t cool me at all.

Most of the Oreson’s wouldn’t have approached me. They all knew what I was capable of, but Tex didn’t even care. He stepped forward and put both his hands on my shoulders. His eyes pierced straight into me and instantly he was in control of me. Our connection became just me and him, this wasn’t normal it had to be a power. “Shiloh, you have to go. His family needs to meet you. You were the last one to hold their son and brother. You were married to him. You heard his last words. They need you.” His square jaw became a little more pronounced and I looked over his whole face. He had really grown up. He was now a man, and as I looked at him I noticed he was more of a man than Phoenix could ever dream to be. Tex had seen things, things that made him the way he is now and gave him great wisdom. His chest squared and lifted his and my posture. We stared at each other for a moment and his eyes began to shift around. It was like a glitter mixture rolling around in a clear bowl. The silver was actually a pool of water rippling around. His pupil was the still rock in the ocean of glitter.

                My face came inches away from his and he let me stare at the moving spheres. Phoenix walked up behind Tex and with a forceful pull Phoenix had Tex away from me. The feeling of calm vanished as if it never existed. Pain again was twirling along with the blood through my veins. My feet stepped backward and Phoenix hand grabbed at my bicep. He squeezed tightly around my flabby mess. I jerked my arm away and rubbed the pain away. A deep sadness filled where the pain was sitting. I didn’t really have a choice in this matter. If I didn’t go on my own free will I would be forcefully warped to Khtulu.

                My shoulder smashed into Phoenix chest, making him cough. I kept my momentum moving. I knew that if I stopped it wouldn’t happen. I wouldn’t be able to do it. My feet picked up speed and everyone was running to keep up with me. Tex ran up beside me, “What’re you doing?” he asked casually as if we were running partners.

                “I have to go now or I won’t be able to make it.” I was out of breath as I ran.

                “Alright,” he looked behind him towards Jazz. She ran up and put her hands on both of our backs, “here we go.”