Chapter 34

Oh look who it is

Rylan Khtulu

 

There was something in his eyes when he said goodbye. It wasn’t him, and I had to find out where he was. Shiloh would never say that to me. I would’ve seen it coming, I would’ve felt it.

I pulled the wall back in our room to expose the giant map of the world. My powers flipped on lighting the whole wall in front of me. I wasn’t going to lie. Having an empty house was helping me focus. My hand ran over the canvas lying in front of me. My mind searched through each tiny city trying to find him. The first place I looked, Lincoln city. We still had the house there, if he were to go anywhere that’s where he would be.

When I found nothing I sunk my head low into my chest. A deep exhaustion was coming up from behind my eyes. I wouldn’t quit I would keep trying until I found him. “That’s interesting.” A voice said loudly behind me. I didn’t move instead I continued to search east to west. “Do you think that will actually work?”

“What would you suggest?”

Phoenix walked up next to me with his arms crossed over his chest. “Calling him,” his voice was filled with a demeaning tone.

“You don’t think I’ve tried that? You must really be an idiot then.”

“Go to hell Rylan.” He snarled under his breath.

My chest heaved and I spun to glare down on his sickening face. “Is there something you want Oreson?”

His arms split open and rested on his hips. “I want to find him just as much as you do.”

My eyes poured down on him with as much hatred as I could muster. “Then do it your own damn way. You know what Phoenix, why don’t you just stop interfering in our lives. I think that you have done just enough for a lifetime.”

“Is that why your kids are staying at my house?”

I breathed in deep before I shoved my hand across his face. Every time I was in the same room as him anger filled every inch of my body. He was everything I despised, everything I hated. “Phoenix, have you just come to torment me? If so I will be forced to remove you from my home.” 

He took a deep breath and softened his face. “I’ve come to offer my services.”

“And those are what exactly? Everything you can do I do ten times better.”

His lips pursed together and his brow furrowed. “If you don’t want my help then I won’t give it to you.” A smirk spread on my face and I turned back to my business. “Listen Rylan-”

“Are you still here Oreson?”

His hand grabbed my shoulder and he spun me to look at him. With a serious scowl on his face he spoke through his teeth, “Listen Rylan I admit it. I love Collin and we both know it. Have I really ever had to say it? But I’m not a complete a*s I would never do anything to sabotage your happiness. If I wanted to wreck your life I could’ve done it years ago. I have my own family and my own life now. Sure Justin and I don’t get a long all the time, but we make do. Collin is my best friend and I will help you find him whether you accept the help or not.”

My hand went to the side of his bicep and squeezed as tight as I could. “Phoenix, when are you going to get it through your thick skull that he isn’t Collin anymore? He hasn’t been Collin since you changed him. You ruined that for yourself. If you wanted to love Collin for the rest of your life perhaps you should’ve thought about your actions beforehand. Then maybe when he started to transform you could’ve been there.”

He snapped back and got inches from my face, “You gave me no other option.”

“You had every option in the world. I didn’t make you leave the first time Phoenix. You chose that yourself. You wanted to get away from your father at all costs. You knew exactly what you had done to Collin. You ran away Phoenix. You got too close to him and you ran. Then the second you realized you actually did love him you tried to come back. It was too late then, he wasn’t Collin. Then he was mine, my Shiloh.” My face was burning up with rage. I felt my heart pounding painfully in my chest. Deep breaths were breaking away at my lungs. Phoenix’s face became almost pained. A deep grimace filled the lines as he looked at me with careful eyes. “You left him and you know it.”

His lips were slammed shut. Nothing was going to come out of them for awhile. He took a deep breath and started pacing in the room. He walked past me time and time again. I just stood there with my hips slightly bent trying to keep my body awake. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I screwed up. I made a mistake.”  

“You almost killed him, you’re lucky I pay enough attention to my visions. I could’ve stayed in Khtulu you know. I could’ve married Fiona and lived a happy life. I didn’t need to come here and have all this. Now I love Shiloh, he is mine and I’ll be damned if you’re ever going to get him.”

Phoenix had stopped and was facing the wall away from me. His shoulders slumped heavily as if he was about to drop to the ground that instant. “Justin loves you Phoenix. He’s given up everything to be with you, just like I have for Shiloh. He deserves more than you give him. We’ve been telling you this for years.”

“It’s not the same.”

I turned around and looked at the back of his head. “I understand Phoenix. Collin was your first, I had a first also you know. But when I left I knew there was nothing that could ever happen between me and them again. I was engaged Phoenix, Engaged! I can’t even imagine going back and asking for her heart again. That’s complete insanity.”

I walked closer and grabbed his shoulders. Tears were filling the bottom rim of his eyes. “You’re scared to love Justin because you’re afraid you’ll leave him too. You don’t see that you already have.” His head slumped lower toward the ground. “You still haven’t lost him you know. Not like I’ve lost Shiloh.”

Phoenix laughed slightly. “You know I came here to tell you off and really I got it back in return.”

“What do you need to say to me then?”

He took a deep breath, “You need to look at this like Collin is never coming back. Your kids need you. I saw the way they looked. They need someone to look out for them. They hurt Rylan, and I can’t do much more than I’m doing.” His hand touched the wall and shoved the map closed. “You need to have faith that everything will work out. Be human.”

“Be human?”

His silver eyes poured deep down into me as he looked for comfort to give. “It’s okay to have emotions sometimes. It’s alright to mourn the death of someone. You can’t be in denial your whole life.”

“I have to be strong.”

“Be strong for who Rylan, the kids? Rylan they’re feeling the exact same things as you are. They know what you’re going through. They know you’re strong, but what they need to know is that you care.”

“They know-”

His hands again went to my shoulders but this time they were comforting hands. “If they did, would they really be seeking safety at my house?” Is this it, is this where the mighty titan falls? Only once or twice in my life have I let my emotions get a hold of me. Those times were only with Shiloh. Maybe a few times here and there a tear would slip from my lids but never a complete meltdown. Perhaps it was all catching up with me.

Phoenix’s hand spread on the side of my face. He pulled my head into the center of his chest and embraced me. His strong grip held me tight until finally it was time. Tears started to stream down my cheeks. My body began to shake and the sobs began. There wasn’t much from here. I didn’t know what would happen now. Life was falling apart and I couldn’t handle it... I couldn’t handle it.