Chapter Nine

I'm as free as a bird now. Or something like that.

“Mom, Dad some of my friends want to go out tonight. Is that alright with you?” Both of my parents looked up from their happy conversation.

My dad was the one who answered, “My boy this is your night you go out and do whatever you please.” There was a slight knock on the door and I practically ran. My younger brother Blake reached the door first. He opened the large doors and looked up at Parker.

“What?”

“Blake,” I gasped and pushed him out of the way. “Sorry about that, he doesn’t have manners.”

“Shut up Russ,” Blake punched me in the hip and ran off. I smiled at Parker who laughed.

“Get a jacket.” He said my face twisted, “Trust me you’ll need it.” I left the door and opened the coat closet. I grabbed out a dress jacket and walked back to the door. I stepped out onto the porch and closed the door behind me. Parker looked around then stuck his elbow out. Without question I took it this time. We walked down the stone path to his dark truck.

“It’s not that cold out why’d I need a jacket?”

He laughed, “Can’t you just trust me?” My arm slid out from his and I started to walk around the truck, “What do you think you’re doing?” He caught my arm and pulled me back behind him. He ran over to the other side of the truck and opened my door. So chivalrous. He took my hand and lifted it into the truck.

When he ran around his side and got in he looked at me, “I’m glad I got you out of this place, so small and suffocating right?” He was being incredibly sarcastic.

“What’re the plans for tonight?”

He started to back out of my driveway, “everything is a surprise. You just have to learn to trust me.” I sat back in the comfortable seat and just relaxed. “You played a good game tonight.”

“Thanks to you.”

“Oh really? I am so fabulous.”

“No really thank you, I’m sure I would’ve passed out if you weren’t there.” He smiled, “You sang wonderfully.”

“I forgot to mention that I was singing didn’t I?” I nodded.

“You also forgot to mention that it was with Hayden.” He bit his lip and looked sideways at me, “what’s with that?”

He laughed, “Hayden and I were in the same singing class when we were seven. We were the top two singers. They asked us to open up the high school football season so we did. They loved us so much it just became tradition.”

“So at one point you actually like Hayden?”

Again he laughed, “Not one bit. There was never a time that I didn’t despise her.” We both shared a laugh and then I went silent. It was a good silent. It was comfortable I loved being with him. There were no expectations. Tentatively he reached over and grabbed my hand. He snapped his head back and forth from the road to me to try and gauge my reaction. I didn’t protest a tiny bit. My fingers laced with his like somehow they were sculpted to fit that way. His thumb ran up and down the side of my finger.

He drove the truck into town along the main road. Finally he pulled into a drive through restaurant. He drove around the building and pulled up to the sign, “How may I help you?”

Parker answered, “Ya we’ll take four coffees, four double cheeseburgers, four large fries, and two ice cream cups.”

“Hungry?” a full tone of humor sounded in the one word.

He fake punched me in the chin, “You’re so funny.”

We pulled up to the next window. We paid and got the food. Parker put everything on the back seat and started to drive. “So, humor me.” I turned my body so that I could better see him when he spoke. My free hand wrapped around the top of ours that were intertwined in my lap. I pursed my lips together and waited for his question. “What would your dad do if he found out you were gay?”

“I’m not gay.” I said as stern as I could.

Parker’s head snapped to me. His gaze lowered to our hands. My hands pulled from his and sat them all alone in my lap. “You aren’t?”

I sighed, “I don’t know.”

“That’s more like it.” His hand returned to my side. He opened his palm and waited for me to return my hand to his. “I understand being confused, trust me I do.” His hand ran over my knuckles soothingly. “I know that I am just so irresistible that I confuse people.”

I slugged him in the arm and he laughed. “I don’t like to associate myself with any group.”

“Love is love,” The truck slowed and he looked over at me, “as long as you have feelings for me I could really care less.” I smiled and nuzzled up to his shoulder. He slid his hand out from mine and wrapped it around my shoulder. With a soft touch his lips caressed the skin on my forehead. He took a deep breath and moved his head forward, “we’re here.”

My eyes followed his gaze out the front of the truck. The vehicle was parked on a deserted ledge overlooking the whole valley. Bright lights shone up proudly to us. I looked down onto the building and streets as if I was a giant looking down. Inevitably a smile  spread across my face. “It’s beautiful,” words barely came out of my mouth. “I’ve never actually seen anything so beautiful.”

My neck twisted and I looked up at Parker who was staring at me. His face froze in a serious look, “me either.” His hand stroked a strand of brown hair out of my eye. My breathing seemed to completely stop as he got closer to me. His chest rubbed up again my shoulder and he and I pulled together like magnets. Right before our lips pressed together Parker froze, “not yet.”

Quickly he pulled away and jumped back over onto his side of the truck. My eyebrows twisted, confused. He flashed me a bright smile and pulled the door handle. Before the door was shut he grabbed the food and walked to the back of his truck. I also pulled the black handle at my side and leapt out of the cab. As I walked around I watched as Parker lowered his tailgate. My feet carried me to the back of the truck and I saw his plan slowly unfolding. A mattress covered in sleeping bags and blankets lay in the bed of the truck. My hands went to my waist and I looked up at him, “What is this, a plan to seduce me?”

A laugh chortled from him and he hopped up onto the back of truck. There was never really an answer. Instead he stuck out his hand for me. Our hands held onto each others as he lifted me up into the back of the truck. “Get comfortable.” Was I really going to refuse? My knees bent and I lowered myself onto the mattress. I crawled until my head got to the pillows that were piled up next to the cab. With each breath my body became more tense. Parker set out the food and started to unravel blankets.

“What exactly are we doing?” I finally asked him.

His body lowered onto the mattress “obviously you’re learning patience.” I sighed and he scooted closer to me. “I’m teaching you how to relax, let go for a little while. You don’t have to be perfect you know.”

Tentatively his arm slid underneath my neck pulling me closer into him. I didn’t protest a tiny bit. My hand spread across his chest between his Pecs. He pulled me in tighter and with his other arm pulled the blankets up over us. “I have to be perfect.” I whispered into him.

“Why is that?” His second arm wrapped around my body and hugged me tighter into his torso.

A shrug moved my shoulders up, “my father expects it.”

There was a calm silence for a moment as Parker chose his next words wisely, “Well I don’t.”

He was right. My father wasn’t anywhere to be seen or heard. His presence was always with me though. Every second of every day I felt him watching over me. Making sure that everything I was doing was what he wanted. Suddenly I felt a calm rush over me. With Parker I could be my true self. I didn’t have to pretend anymore. I took a deep breath and spoke without wavering in my voice, “I’m gay.”

I heard the smile in Parker’s voice as he spoke, “I know Russ.” Slowly he sat us both up onto our elbows. His bright eyes looked deep into mine. My eyes grazed across his beautiful face. “And that’s okay, because I am too.”

We both laughed and his hand went to the side of my face. Slowly and carefully he pulled his face close into mine. Again before our lips touched words came, “I’ve never done this.”

His eyes looked up to me. His thumb grazed across my cheek bone and his eye lids closed. Without anymore talking he pressed his lips into mine. I was expecting something but not what I got. Fireworks shot off in my head as I ran my lips together with the first man I’d ever gotten this close to. A bubbling feeling rose up into my chest. With no force at all Parker rolled his body on top of mine and I completely relaxed finally letting him take over

Author's Note

I just moved.. sorry these are all sorts of jumbled.