Chapter 25

I tried to remember where I was those last three days, and how I hurt Jerry? He was fine, and really just avoided me. The insurance money came in for my mom. Most of it went to the medical bills for the hospital. I was left with about five thousand, but within two days it was gone. Alcohol bottles, as many as I could get, were now piled up around my bed. I was turning into my parents. I didn’t eat, just drank, and got high off my mother’s prescription drugs.  I began to lose weight quickly, but I didn’t care.

Jo came over multiple times, I never talked. In fact the last person I talked to was me, telling me to put Jerry down. I just stared out the window hoping that somehow Phoenix would jump through and hold me until all the pain went away. Day after day my hope was shot down. Sleep soon lost importance for me. Jo came over almost every day, usually with Ryder. Next her parents came, followed by Veronica and Jackson, and finally Eileen. I didn’t talk to anyone�"not once. I never made eye contact. I avoided any contact with other human beings. Tears just swelled in my eyes and ran down my cheeks, you would think that by now I’d dry up�"but no�"somehow the tears just kept coming.

Now a Thursday night, the first Thursday night after the death of my mother, and Saturday was the funeral. It’d been six days since I held her body one last time. I didn’t know what I was going to wear, probably the same clothes I’d worn for weeks now. It was sad to think that the only thing running through my mind was the question of what to wear at my mother’s funeral.

 A bottle of Vodka had warmed in my hand and I stared at the swishing liquid inside the clear glass.

What was I doing to myself? This wasn’t me. I wasn’t like this. This vodka was not who I was. So why was I letting it control me. My mind shot to my mother, “I killed her,” I whispered once more to myself. I did. I was gone for three days, making her search for me like a good mother would and I didn’t call her. I didn’t tell her where I was. Well, I didn’t actually know where I was. I don’t even remember those three days. Phoenix, He left me. He left me here and didn’t come to comfort me. I’ve never been in so much pain and yet, he can’t help me. I breathed in deep and my broken ribs burned with pain. Without the healing powers of the Oresons I was still a broken skeleton under bruised skin.

Who can live like this? ‘I hate myself and I don’t want to be here anymore,’ I thought loudly inside my head. So that was my decision; I didn’t want to be here for my mother’s funeral, and I didn’t want to be here when Phoenix came back. This would teach him. This would teach him to leave. Now he’d feel the pain that comes from loss. Everyone would feel my pain and realize that they couldn’t do anything about it.

I leapt up off the bed with the vodka still in hand. I chugged the rest of the sour liquid as I stood and grabbed a full bottle of whiskey. I needed help but I couldn’t get it.

There was one call that I needed to make before I did what I was headed to. I have to say goodbye to Jo. She didn’t deserve this, but I didn’t either. I flipped open my phone and dialed her number�"one last time. It rang five times before going to the voicemail. “Hey this is Jo, I’m sorry that I missed your call. I’m probably with Ryder (insert giddy laugh here). Please leave a message and I’ll call you back as soon as I can.” A high pitched tone came over the ear piece.

I breathed in deep before starting the message, “Jo, its Collin. I’m scared. I’m about to do something I don’t want to. I love you Jo, Help me.” I cried out, what was going on two things were coming from my mouth. I was turning slowly into two different people. “Jo, Help me, please come find me, 35^th and Main St., Please? Good bye Jo, it’s been a wonderful time knowing you. I have to go now. HELP ME!” My hand pressed the end button.

I tried to plant my feet to the ground but couldn’t. The bottle of whiskey opened up and swigged into my mouth. The whiskey numbed my lips and tongue. I ran out of my house, completely ignoring a drunken and passed out Jerry on the couch, and the pain piercing my limbs. I ran and ran until I finally hit the alley. This was it, the place where Phoenix saved me�"the alley. The alley was dark and muggy again. The moon’s light put an eerie feel in it. I walked around the building to find a ladder leading up to the top of the building. I put the whiskey bottle in the pocket of my black jacket and climbed up the ladder. The roof had gravel on it. Most likely because the people didn’t want to constantly retile the roof.

My feet crunched over the gravel as I walked to the edge. When I got there I looked into the alley where I was once been held captive. The memories flooded through my mind. The way Phoenix looked at me, the way he wanted me to be alright, the way he wanted to help me, the way he loved me. Now he was the reason I was leaping to my death into the alley he tried so hard to protect me in. The building was about four stories high. As long as I landed on my head my job would be done.

The bottles lid popped off and I drank away at the whiskey while dangling my feet over the edge. Usually someone would get a good case of vertigo looking down, but after flying around with Phoenix I had none of that. I picked at the bricks under me. I think finally my tears had run out because I felt nothing. Maybe this was what death was like�"nothing. I strived for that.

The last drops of the alcohol slid nicely down my throat. I took the bottle by the spout and threw it across the roof. It skidded across the tiny rocks below in an annoying screeching manner. I sniffed and wiped my lips with my sleeve. ‘I guess it’s now or never’ I thought once again to myself. I looked over the edge one last time there was no sign of Jo or anyone. My heart sank. She couldn’t leave Ryder for a second to come save me; me, her best friend since elementary school? I was there for her first heartbreak. I was there when her parents would yell at her. I had been reduced to nothing now. I was just some memory from her past. She had even left me.

My jacket slid off my shoulders and I dropped it into the gravel behind me. I looked at myself. When they find me I hope they don’t notice how dirty I am. My hands wiped down on my pants making the sweat disappear. My feet stepped forward and inside of me I was screaming for help, I didn’t want this, but this strange alter ego was forcing me to the side of the building. I dragged my feet but somehow I still ended up standing next to the brick ledge.

I stepped up the ledge and stood over the alley. My heart pumped loudly outside my chest. Sweat beaded up above my eye brow and my mouth went dry. Two people ran around the corner, “Collin, Don’t Jump,” Screamed Jo from beneath me.

It was too late. I had already stepped off the ledge with one foot when she called out. Gravity pulled me down falling face first to the ground. Jo screamed at the top of her lungs. Ryder jumped for me with his eyes illuminated but passed me. ‘What?’ I asked. Suddenly something grabbed my shirt. I was now flying the other way back up to the building. My legs and arms kicked wildly mid-air. My feet landed on the gravel and I fell straight backwards. A black figure appeared over me and his warm hands grabbed my back inches from the ground. It was almost like a dance and this was the dramatic dip. I could hear the gravel crunching by his bent knee that was bent uncomfortably low to the ground.

I gasped and breathed loudly. I knew this chest. It was the one who caught me when Phoenix left. My legs started kicking and my arms started punching. He dropped me softly on my back to the gravel. He strattled me and tried to get control. “Let go!” I screeched with a cracked voice. Not speaking had done a number on my voice. I brought my knee up and kneed him in the stomach. Ryder and Jo landed behind my head. The Hero rolled over in pain, coughing, and grabbing his stomach. I jumped up and ran straight for the ledge.

“Collin!” Jo screamed from behind me and I leapt again for the edge with my arms spread out like a bird. I flew over the space between the buildings freely and began to fall. The nothingness was so peaceful just floating there�"waiting to die.

The Hero returned�"jerk. He caught me face down and flipped me over into his arms. “Stop it.” He hissed at me with a demanding tone. ‘Wow, he really isn’t nice’. I continued to fight him with all the strength in my beaten up body. I wanted to fall, I wanted to die, I didn’t want to be here�"I think. 

He wrapped me tight into his chest and planted his feet back onto the gravel ceiling. Ryder looked at him, “I’ve never seen you around before.”

“I’m new.” The Hero hissed, “I need to take him, thanks to your careless brother.”

“What did you say?” I knew Ryder squared up; not by seeing him, but by knowing him.

The Hero sighed, “Phoenix has a virus in him that he knew about. It’s much like an AIDs virus. It’s very complicated and I’ve been working on it for years. Anyways, he passed it on to Collin here and I’m the only one that can help him. So I need to take him.”

“You aren’t touching him. My family can do just fine with him.”

The new Hero laughed, “Because they’ve done so much already.”

Jo jumped in “Take him.”

Everyone looked at her�"including me. “What?” asked Ryder.

“Take him. Something’s telling me that you need to take him.” She whispered. Jo always had a sixth sense. When she got a good feeling about something you should always go with it.

All the silver eyes on this small roof were on her now. I looked up at this chin that was holding me so close. My hand reached up and touched the tan skin. I couldn’t fight anymore. It was so new�"so different. I couldn’t fight anything anymore I was just finally so exhausted I couldn’t move. Ryder looked at her, “Can I talk to you alone?”

“No Ryder. He’s my best friend I know what’s best for him. He needs to be away from your family, away from everything that reminds him of Phoenix. Just let him go. If I can, so can you.” She stroked his hand that was holding her arm. “It’s okay Ryder.”

The man holding me stroked the side of my face with his thumb lightly like a boyfriend would. His eyes looked down on me. That’s when I noticed that they weren’t silver. His eyes were a dark grey. About the color of asphalt a tiny bit lighter. With the new color they had beautiful specks and streaks of black and silver. They were magical. His beautiful gaze looked up from me back to Ryder and Jo. “He’s giving up. We need to move this along.”

Ryder nodded at the man. “Let me say good bye.” Jo walked up to this Hero and put her arms on his. She leaned into me and whispered into my ear. “I love you Collin, trust this guy, he looks trustable.”

I smiled and stroked her cheek, “I love you.” I whispered back. “I’ll miss you.” My voice cracked once more.

“I’ll miss you too.” She kissed my sweaty cheek like she did many months ago�"it wasn’t the same anymore.

“We have to go.” The Hero holding me said.

“Bye Collin.” I looked at Ryder as he spoke. His head sunk in defeat. I think he hated not being in control of the situation.

“Bye Ryder.”  I looked up at the man whose eyes had moved to me, “I’m ready.” This felt as if it was the last time I’d ever see them. Perhaps I wouldn’t, but would I mind? Something inside of me was changing and I couldn’t stop it. The new man’s feet lifted off the ground and I watched as we flew over the city, so peacefully and weightless.

Author's Note

Hope you enjoy it.