Chapter 11

The door shut behind us and I walked to the glass door that led out to the street. I knew Phoenix was upset�"it wasn’t hard to tell. He tore the door open and huffed as I went through to the steps. I froze and my mouth gaped open. A bright red mustang was parked on the curb. My head tilted and tried to take it all in. This old vehicle had been restored beautifully. The red illuminated in the sunlight. As people passed they stared into the car wishing they could be the owner of such a nice vehicle. As you walked closer you could see the shiny black leather that covered the seats. Phoenix’s hand slid under the metallic handle. With a swift pull the door opened for me. As I was gaping Phoenix’s hand slid under mine to help me into the car.

The leather scrunched and I sunk in comfortably. Phoenix didn’t even cross around the car he just appeared next to me. My body jumped as he came out of nowhere. The top of my head hit the window behind me. I rubbed the top of my head where it had been hit. He shot a look at me and my body sunk in to the seat in embarrassment. He started the car in silence. I looked around the car. In the refurbishing of the vehicle, a brand new stereo was put in with many new silver accessories.

As the car quickly pulled out I fastened my seat belt. Cars whizzed past us as we sped down the street. Phoenix’s knuckles were white as he clenched the wheel. His fierce eyes stayed on the road. Anyone could see the rage radiating off him. So I spoke softly, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” he snarled, not taking his eyes off the road for a second.

                I shrugged and looked out the window. “Whatever made you mad?”

                His foot went to the brake and the Mustang screeched around a corner. The car was completely stopped on an empty road. He shoved the car into park and turned the key so that the car was off. After a deep sigh from his chest, he turned to me.

                My hand held tightly to the seat below me and car door’s arm rest. The quick turn had frozen me to the seat with my eyes wide open. I could hear my heart pounding in my chest. Pain ran through my hands as I clenched my two safety handles. “Do you think I’m mad at you?” Phoenix snapped at me.

                I stayed frozen but managed to nod. He exhaled loudly and leaned back into his seat. His eyelids shut. I managed to loosen up slightly. “Aren’t you?” I asked quickly with all the breath I could get to escape from my lungs.

                “No.” was all he said.

                I bit my cheek, baffled. “Okay.” was all I was able to get out.

“I’m mad at myself.” His head lifted slightly from the head rest behind him and turned toward me. His eyebrows burrowed furiously. “I was so happy for tonight that I didn’t even take time to listen. If I had put my thoughts on more important matters I would’ve been able to stop him.”   

                Phoenix’s fingertips went to my neck. I wrenched away quickly hitting my head on the window once more. Pain ruptured though my neck and head. With my hand I rubbed the top of my head and with the other I grabbed my throat. “It’s alright,” I answered Phoenix through the pain.

                “What?!”  He yelled making me jump again. This time I made sure not to hit the window. “It’s not alright�"you could’ve died.” He yelled. His usually pale face turned red and I thought maybe he’d explode. 

“But I didn’t, so�"”

                “So nothing,” He shouted finishing the words of my sentence in his own way. In one quick move he gently took my face in his palms. “I could’ve lost you.”

                My hand covered his and shoved it away from my face. “You didn’t” He sighed and looked fiercely at me. I wasn’t seeing his point and, well, he wasn’t seeing mine either.

                His body returned to his chair. “I hate men like him.” He laughed an angered laugh. “Those are my favorite to bust. I should take him to jail now.” His hand instantly went to the keys in the ignition.

                “No.” I snapped. I couldn’t image my mom’s next boyfriend. At least with Jerry I knew I didn’t have much to worry about anymore. “It’s okay.”

“Don’t you ever say that’s okay! That is not okay, and its people like you who keep it going.”

                “People like me?” I yelped this time despite the fire in my throat.

                “’He’ll never do it again he really does love me. ‘ No he doesn’t! He doesn’t love you and that won’t change.” Phoenix was becoming belligerent and so was I.

                My heart sank. Pain raged through my whole body now. My eyes pierced into him. My nostrils flared and my chest heaved. Could I really compete? Could I even disagree? No, but it was the last thing I ever wanted to hear�"especially from Phoenix.

 My father beat me when I was younger�"before he no longer cared. I knew when he hit me it was to help me and make me stronger. When it stopped it was as if he no longer cared what happened to me�"then he left. So now ‘big shot’ here was telling me the only time my father did care he actually never did.

                “What’d I say?” His tone was calmer�"as if that’d help him out.

                “For someone who can read minds you really don’t understand me at all.” I hissed. From the corner of my eye I saw his eyes light up.

I tried to calm myself as he tried to figure my mind out. My breathing soon found its usual rhythm. “Collin.” Phoenix spoke softer, in almost a whisper. “You can’t think that’s true.” I huffed my response at him. “Collin listen to me, him leaving you was one of the most selfless things he’s done.” I shot a glare to him. “You may not see it now, but I swear to you it will get better.” His hand glided over to me and rested on my thigh. Embarrassment filled me as his fingers touched me. I really should’ve worked out more over the summer.

“Collin, you don’t hit someone because you care for them.” My eyes along with my heart hit the floor of the perfect car I was sitting in. Somehow I knew that. I just didn’t’ want to face it. “Collin, look at me.” My eyes rolled up and I turned to Phoenix’s sympathetic face. I leaned into the warm support. “If I hit you to show you my affection�"you’d be dead. “ A smile twitched on his face tentatively. “I’m sorry. I guess I don’t fully understand your situation. Can you forgive me?” I nodded and he leaned closer into me. “Coll, you’re safe now. I can promise you that. There is no more need to worry. I’ll take care of you.” A feeling of joy filled my body expelling out the sorrow. Our foreheads touched as his face closed in on mine. Phoenix’s silver eyes slowly closed. “I’m so sorry that you’ve had to go through all this.”

                One of my hands went up behind his head and set on the back of his head. “Thank you.” I whispered so low I barely heard. Our lips once again found each others. The kiss released all the tension and pain in the air.

As the kiss became more heated and passionate my body let go. Tears welled under my closed lids. Before they could take over I felt something strange. A sob broke from Phoenix’s chest. He pulled back as my hand went to either side of his face. He couldn’t get control.  Sobs rang from his throat as his chest heaved.

I had been the selfish one. Here, between my hands, was the one person who knew exactly my confusion and frustration. But he’d dealt with it years longer than I had. Even with his pain he continued to save others and make the world a better place to live in. Now his world was falling out from underneath him and the only person who should care for him was being a selfish prick.

He spoke through the sobs, “I don’t want to lose you Collin. Not tomorrow, not the next day, not ever.”

                Phoenix breathed harder trying to get control. Instead of pulling away I scooted across the leather closer to him. My arms wrapped around him and all I said was, “I know.”

Author's Note

Eh.. <3 you