Chapter 4

The weekend played out normally. There were no near death experiences, no men flying around, nothing. Monday grudgingly rolled around again. It began as any normal Monday. I sat next to Jo in our homeroom English class. She was writing away like she usually was. Jo had better grades than I could’ve dreamed of. In front of us sat Nicky Hammers she was the most popular girl in school. Long blonde hair curled all the way down her back. She fake-baked almost three times a week�"even though the sun was out in Miami. I guess you could say she was your typical popular girl. She and Jo never really got along. This fact was reiterated when Nicky turned around. “Hanks,” Jo was really the only one who called me by my first name�"including my teachers.

I lifted my eyes up and looked at Nicky. Her brown eyes were covered in pink eye shadow and dark black eye liner. My gaze stayed on her as she continued talking. “Did you do homework?” Jo looked up at Nicky and then back to me. Quietly I nodded and slid the sheet of homework towards her. She grabbed the paper and turned around to copy it.

Jo huffed and looked down at her paper. “What?” I hissed as I watched her scribble even faster.

She shook her head making her hair fall on the paper in front of her. “You’re such a push over Collin. How can you do all that work that took you hours to do and just hand it over?” Her blue eyes shot up to me and she leaned back in her chair. “You really need to start standing up for yourself.”

I sunk my head thinking of the revelation I had, had a few days before�"that idea really didn’t work out to well. I had to face the fact that I would never be good enough for Jo Lee. Still I had to try though. Inside my mind was telling me to yell at Nicky and get my paper back. The words never seemed to come out of my mouth. Instead I put my hands in my lap and looked at the table in front of me.

The teacher walked in and Nicky slid the paper back on my desk. She gave me a quick smile and turned around to chat with her friends. Jo looked at the paper then huffed once more. “You’re better than that Collin.”

“No�"I’m not.” I hissed below my breath. Jo raised one of her eye brows as she noticed my tone of voice. “Sorry,” I whispered again. “I shouldn’t have snapped.” Her tan hand reached out and touched my wrist sitting on my leg.

“Collin, you’re who you are. I understand.” I didn’t understand why I could be more of a man. I didn’t know why I couldn’t muster up enough courage to just stand up for myself. My whole life was spent inside this shell�"never busting out�"nothing. I pursed my lips together and dropped my chin to my chest. Mr. Ashbee our teacher started the class.

After about five minutes the door opened and Phoenix walked in. A world of trouble seemed to be resting on his shoulders. Mr. Ashbee stopped the class and waited for Phoenix to slink into his seat in the back of the classroom. When Mr. Ashbee started the class again I tilted my head to see Phoenix starting at the chalkboard. His mind was obviously in a completely different place and it looked almost as if he was on the verge of tears.

Jo cleared her throat next to me and I returned my gaze to the front of the room. I went to my next two classes in silence. I had nothing that I wanted to say and there was nothing that could be said to make me feel better about myself. I really was a pushover. I don’t know any girl that would ever want to be with me. A man is here to provide for a family and protect them. I couldn’t even protect myself�"no I needed a conceited Hero to do that.

These thoughts filled my mind until lunch. In a daze, I walked over to Jo and sat down in front of her. This time she looked up from one of her science books. “Are you alright?” she asked and snapped a carrot between her teeth. It was easy to read the mood on my face. I nodded and looked past her. Her gaze returned to the book in front of her. She chewed loudly on the orange carrot. She was so beautiful. She pulled her long hair behind her shoulder and tipped her head slightly enough so that I could see the point of her jaw bone next to her ear. I so wanted to reach my hand out and caress that bone.

I sighed, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to. As I sighed I looked up over her head to see Phoenix staring at me. His usual group was surrounded at his feet. They laughed and cheered at whatever story they were talking about. Phoenix was looking up from his sandwich and starting straight at me. He didn’t smile when I caught his gaze, I didn’t smile either. We just stared at each other for a moment.

Before this weekend I didn’t even think Phoenix knew that I existed on this planet. I doubt that he did even know me but, he found me this weekend. I pursed my lips together then he broke our stare. Someone talked to him and he turned his gaze on them. I took the opportunity to look at Jo again. She caught me looking and we both smiled. Sometimes I think that she also has feelings for me. I mean she puts up with my weak self. I didn’t really have much to offer as a boyfriend or a friend but somehow she just stayed around.

The day played out like it normally did. I went to class I learned useless things that I would never actually use for the rest of my life and then Jo took me home. She pulled up to my house and I could see that my father’s car was not there. Instead a beaten up blue Chevy truck sat in the parking spot for my apartment. I sighed and grabbed my bag off the floor of Jo’s car. “I’m sorry about your mom and dad you know.” Jo whispered softly as took off my seat belt.

“Yeah I know.”

“You’re welcome to stay at my house.”

“Yeah I know that too.” We weren’t looking at each other. She and I were both ashamed of my parents. It also wasn’t one of our favorite topics to discuss. “It’s just so sudden, you know?” I turned my head and looked at her. Her blue gems were filled with sympathy as she looked at me. I shrugged my shoulders and returned my gaze to my shoes. There was so much pain built up inside of me. It wasn’t something I could show people either. Pain wasn’t a very mainly thing to have. “I better get going.” I whispered and grabbed the door handle. “Thanks,” I said and stepped out of the car. I shut the door loudly and walked up to my house.

As I walked in I saw Jerry laying on the couch with a beer in one hand and the remote in the other. Muddy boots were lying on top of the fine leather couches that my father had purchased for my mother. I shut the door and woke him from his sleeping daze. He mumbled something and looked up at me. “Where’s my mom?” I asked. I looked down at him. His unshaven face showed that he had stayed the weekend over here. He scratched at the dirty mess and then looked back at the TV.

I hated this man. He thought that he could come into my home and ruin my family. He didn’t even treat my mother right. He was always telling her what to do�"with everything. He told her how to eat her food, how to walk, how to talk. It was sickening and I didn’t want him in my life anymore.

A disgusted feeling sizzled into my guy and I felt the anger rise all the way to my eyeballs. I clenched my fists together and walked off toward my room. My mother was in the kitchen. She caught my arm as I walked up. Her hair had been pulled back for work. She wore a nice pencil line skirt and she smiled�"almost like she used to.

When mom got ready for work she really didn’t look half bad. She worked as a receptionist in some massage therapy/spa joint.  It was the same job she’d had since I was a baby. Her employers never really seemed to take notice of her radical behavior change.

“How was school?” she asked with a slight smile spread on her red lips. I could already smell the alcohol on her breath.

“Good,” I answered trying to get the conversation moving. The sooner it started the sooner I could hide away in my room. She noticed that I was trying to hurry.

She shifted her weight, “you have time to talk to your mother.” Her hand slapped my shoulder and she started walking away. That was a strange sentence to end with. She walked off and left me standing on the stairs all alone. Inside I was ready to burst. I wanted to shout at her and tell her that I hated her for what she was doing to this family�"and where was my father?

The hands at my side began to shake and the anger was again rising in my chest. I knew then that I had to calm myself down. I ran up the stairs and threw my bag on the ground. My two windows were open and a light breeze blew in through them. I sat on the window seal and looked out. Across the street were some more apartments. Miami was full of apartments. I just wished that I had a view of something else. There had to be something beautiful in Miami. There had to be something worth looking at.

I sighed and stepped back in my room. I couldn’t stay here�"I wouldn’t stay here�"until my father came back. I slid my phone out of my pocket and Jo was back in less than five minutes.

Author's Note

Anything you can tell me to help out (Rude or not) will be greatly appreciated.

Reviews

[Shayne Plunk]

Its so sad, but so, so good. XD You're gonna be getting a lot of reviews from me, because I am going to spend all day reading this.

I noticed a few typos and whatnot, but I know you are editing it, so unless you say otherwise, I'll keep 'em to myself. ^^