Chapter 4

Collin wants to tell Kai about his feelings, but as usual Kai's plans might not match with his...

Chapter 4 (Kai)

 

Kai trudged through the woods after school, obviously not happy her new sneakers were getting muddy.

“Did it really have to rain today?” She questioned the air, holding her arms out and looking to the sky. “Really? This path gets so swamped with even the slightest drop of water,” she sighed and twisted to look into her bag.

 

                “I know I have a tissue here somewhere.”

 

                Locating a tissue with a piece of gum incased in the middle she bent and valiantly tried to wipe the clumps of mud off the white and grey sneakers Caylee had gotten her for her birthday. Succeeding only in smearing the muck across the toes she let out a huff of air and gave up.

 

                “Next time we’re picking a spot somewhere dry.” She scowled, “Like the Mohave Desert…or a living room.”

 

                She started running perhaps in an attempt to be too quick for the mud from sticking to her shoes, however, she soon began walking again, scowling in disgust at the sludge that had not surprisingly splashed up and onto her legs. The sky was bright above the canopy of trees, yet water continued to playfully trickle and run down the branches and off the leaves. A misstep into a nearby puddle sent another wave of mucky water splashing onto Kai’s already mud drenched legs.

 

                Kai tried to use the crumpled tissue again, nearly screaming in frustration when it began shredding and sticking to the mess covering her calves.

 

                “Collin!”

 

                She listened for a reply and kicked a tree root. Her only response was silence. “Little t**d must be there already.”

 

                Ahead of her the tree cover grew thicker, leaving the light filtering through the tree tops softer and the path drier. As she approached the last bend in the dirt trail, she heard the sound of water rushing down rocks. Anticipation got the best of her and she started to run again, forgetting the consequences of the last time.

 

                In view was her and Collin’s favorite place in the whole world " Panner’s Bluff. It was like a panoramic snapshot from some fairy world unknown. Kai stopped to take it in, gulping deep breaths of air and letting memories crash down upon her.

 

                 Collin had stumbled upon the falls when he was running away from home at nine. To this day he insisted he had been heading towards Kai‘s house, but something had drawn him to the woods behind her family‘s home instead. When they were nine and still hunting for fairies in the trees and sleeping princesses under the falls he had sworn that it had been a spell that sent him stumbling through the trees and straight in the direction of the bluff.

 

                Years and years earlier Kai’s grandfather had rented the land to the county, allowing them to build upon the land a section of the railroad that ran all the way out of the state and into the foothills of New York.

 

This was partly how her mother’s father had made his money and why Kai secretly though her father had bothered marrying Vivian Murphy. Their union came with Vivian’s sizable inheritance and the comfortable home that Walter Murphy had built on the land not occupied by the railroad.

 

After the railroad company had folded the tracks had been ripped from the mountain, leaving a path that cut violently through the trees. Over time the forest began to reclaim the old railroad bed as its own and the path became more and more untamed, the testimony of the old locomotives becoming simply a recollection from the past. Though Collin and Kai still occasionally found old ties and Kai’s mother told her that there was a hunting shack still back there where her grandfather had stayed on overnight trips.

 

                As the years passed and Kai’s family had slowly disintegrated leaving only her father, mother, and her sister the path had lain unused. Kai’s mother and sister had never been ones to explore the outdoors and her father spared no love for the land he felt his father in law had thrust upon them. Kevin Anderson spent the minimal amount of time it took to post the land as private and without delay put it out of his mind.

 

                 It had taken Collin to find the forgotten waterfall.

 

                Through the eyes of a child the waterfall appeared huge. A magnificent slash on the side of the mountain that was graced with water tumbling down its face in foaming churning torrents, racing towards the pool that someone had built at its base.

 

                The old railroad that led nearly directly to the falls had long been torn away, leaving in its absence a shallow ditch filled with dirt and gravel and the occasional forgotten railway tie. The trees that balanced along the edges seemed to bow at the children as the raced each other through the sun that filtered through the trees like softly glowing spot lights leading the way.

               

                That first night Collin had stumbled into the clearing where the waterfall resided he was captivated by the beauty of the place and the magnificent force that drew him there. Astounded and already imagining all the mischief Kai and him could get into in such a fantastic place he had promptly quit running away and went back to tell Kai of his findings.

 

                That evening had not ended with the children playing at the falls. When Collin had run up to Kai’s door covered in dirt and appearing like he had just been told Christmas was coming early, Vivian Anderson had ushered both of her charges into her living room and called Collin’s mother to come and retrieve her runaway son.

 

                Collin had merely broken away first thing the next morning and dragged Kai to the base of the fall. His pleasure at seeing her face light up buoyed his confidence through the roof and he had kissed her underneath the mist of the fall and giggled when they both concluded kissing wasn’t anything like what they saw in the movies. They decided then and there that kissing wouldn’t distract them from the obvious mission before them: protecting the bluff and all the magical creatures sure to live in its shade.

 

                Kai smiled and shook her head as she reminisced about that first quick kiss. Collin’s lips had been soft upon her own and they had both leaned back and stared at each other for a flash in time, until neither could contain themselves and Collin had crossed his eyes at her and danced away up the rocks. She had kissed him years later a second time, but it never compared to her first kiss. There is that quick hesitance and uncontainable excitement that one is lent during something so new.

 

It was that day they had also managed to name their stolen place. ‘Panner’s’ was the name Collin gave it when he thought he saw a panther up on the cliff. It was only a black cat; a stray most likely, terribly lost and yowling its frustration, but Collin, being young and a creative soul, decided it was a panther. He had gotten so excited that when he’d turned to Kai with his finger pointing at the ruffled creature he couldn’t pronounce ‘Panther’ right, and Panner spilled from his lips. It had just stuck. Hence, ‘Panner’s Bluff’ was born.

 

                The falls themselves were beautiful. The main fall was a decent size of thirty or so feet that ran down moss covered rocks and landed in a mist covered pool. At the bottom, a wall spread out across the little river. A pipe was built on the bottom to let the water run through, but since there was so much run off from the mountains above, it collected in the pool creating the perfect swimming hole. Since it was not publicly known, Kai and Collin got away with swimming in the water hole on countless hot summer days.

 

                But the best discovery that day was not the waterfall. The best part was what lied across the river.

 

                Hidden behind what Kai still asserted was a weeping willow, was small window right on the side of the mountain. Shallow and just tall enough for a grown man to stand in, the cave was the perfect hiding place. When they’d noticed the minute opening behind the gigantic tree they immediately made it into their safe haven. Collin had even fashioned a makeshift door out of some leftover wood he had found near the lumber yard.

 

                After failed math tests or unfortunate break ups, they would meet and just talk. It was really the perfect place " out in the woods and out of earshot from the nosy small community. Who would have known small town Pennsylvania could be so beautiful?

 

                Kai stepped out of the railroad bed and headed off to the right towards the sound of rushing water. She snapped a twig on her approach. Immediately a warm face shot out from behind the willow.

 

                “Hey!” Kai yelled running towards her friend and hugging him.

 

                “Hello, Kailan.” He smirked.

 

                “Hey Mister, I haven’t been Kailan since third grade. Now back in the cave, boy. We have talking to do.”

 

                “Ha-ha. Okay boss.” Collin disappeared into the shade of the cave once again. “This thing never ceases to amaze me,” he spoke from the black depths.

 

                Kai scurried behind him, nearly tripping over her own feet and colliding into Collin‘s back.

 

                “So graceful,” Collin murmured, trying to hold back a laugh.

 

                “Huh?” She said, only hearing a muffled sound.

 

                “Oh, nothing,” he replied.

 

                Collin shuffled into a corner of the cave and dropped wearily; Kai bolted to the opposite side and was immediately on the attack.

 

                “Alright, tell me. What the hell happened in English today? Don’t give me some nonsense about being hungry. Right now I’m hungry enough to gnaw on your arm if someone cooks it properly and I’m not going to start shaking on the floor anytime soon.”

 

                Collin fiddled with the corner of the blanket he was sprawled upon, “Did I miss the part where I was shaking on the floor?”

 

She didn’t answer.

 

Collin quirked an eyebrow

 

Kai glared.

 

 “I told you Kit, I’m fine.”

 

                Kai threw a pillow at him and catapulted across the small space, landing at his side and pinning his arms over his head. She leaned close to his face and whispered. “Collin Price I have known you since we were practically still in diapers and I am aware of exactly where to tickle you until you’ll beg for mercy. Now spill.”

 

                Collin squirmed under her grasp and laughed, “Don’t…I’m fine.”

 

                Kai leaned closer, “I know when you’re lying to me.”

 

                Collin stopped struggling and stilled perfectly, looking her straight in the eyes. Kai began to inch back as her breathing slowed and Collin’s eyes seemed to darken. She scrambled towards the other side of the cave and shakily raised a hand to her chest. She chanced looking at him again, “Please Collin…”

               

                “Kai…I,” Collin began picking at a spot on the knees of his jeans, “Promise to hear me out?”

 

                “Yeah, yeah.” Kai stopped, and looked at him, the impatience departing from her voice, “Just tell me. I’ve been worried about you,” Kai’s voice was low and her smile soft, “Please just tell me, whatever it is.”

 

                Collin’s eyes reflected his affection and she knew she had won. “Okay, well, I’ve been having this weird feeling lately.” He picked up the pillow Kai had thrown at him and hugged it tightly to his body. He seemed to be thinking of how to explain what he was about to say and the words came out slowly.

 

                 ”I think something bad is going to happen. Something terrible…so terrible that when I think about it…if kind of just sweeps me up into it.”

 

                Collin looked up at his friend and grinned self-consciously. “Bet you think I’m crazy, right?”

 

                Kai shook her head, “Oh, Collin,” she sighed. “It’s probably just--”

 

                “Don’t!” Collin yelled, cutting her off. Kai looked hurt, and Collin nearly hit himself for losing his control. He stood, “I’m sorry.” He pushed his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath, “But I’m serious. I think that one of us might be in danger.”

 

                “And how do you know that?”

 

                Kai’s voice had lost its concern and Collin could feel his stomach flip, he had hoped she would understand, hoped that if she understood he could finally tell her about the visions; let go of his secret at last. Finally loosen the coiling feeling that his secret left heavy and tight in his chest. “Well… I just do. It’s a feeling.”

 

                Kai began stacking the pillows and blankets they left in the cave neatly next to her. She avoided looking at Collin, “And feelings could be wrong. Feelings aren’t always right.” She fluffed the pillows and swallowed. “You’re just too stressed. It’s senior year, you’ve got a lot going on. “

 

She finally turned to him, “Let it go. We’ll be fine,” Kai spoke softly, placing her hand delicately on his shoulder. She looked more concerned about his mental well-being than what he had told her.

 

                Collin’s stomach clenched at the easy way she brushed everything aside.

 

                Silence pressed on them as their eyes adjusted to the new faint lighting that had settled in the cave. Outside the sun began peeking behind the side of the mountain, sliding slowly from view. Finally, Collin pulled out a flashlight and set it on the floor between them.

 

                Kai looked at Collin. Collin stared at Kai. And the silence remained, an almost palpable third person observing them, waiting for one of them to act.

 

                Kai pressed her back against the wall of the cave and slid down until she was seated again. Collin breathed out and stared out the opening of the cavern into the low hanging branches of the tree.

 

                Kai’s mind was a whirl. No wonder he seemed so strange lately. He was imagining terrible things happening. It was normally her that veered headlong into the dramatics, but stress could do strange things to people. She just needed to change the tension…tell him something happy. Everything would go back to normal. She should just tell him…

 

                Collin’s chest felt like a lump had settled on top of it. He needed to get this out. Needed to tell her. Surely the suffocating feeling in the horrifying vision alluded to this. He could barely breathe, “Kai…”

 

                “I’ve got news!”

 

                Kai’s voice seemed almost forcibly cheerful and Collin’s words died on his lips and he smiled instead, “What news?”

 

                Kai’s face nearly glowed and she leaned over to hug Collin, “Everything is going to be fine, I promise.”

 

                Collin hugged her tightly, she felt soft and small in his arms, “That’s your news?”

 

                Kai giggled into his shoulder and scooted over so she was seated next to him. She snuggled into the crook of his arm and sighed. “No, that’s not my news.”

 

                Collin’s fingers trailed down her arm, and he felt her relax into him. This would be perfect. He should tell her here, in this place, in this moment. Butterflies danced what seemed like a merry jig in his stomach. He could almost forget that terrible place…that terrible laugh…

 

                “Tyler Daniels asked me to homecoming.” Kai whispered. Collin could hear the smile that flavored her words.

 

                Brake check.

 

                Collin stared at the top of her head. The scent of her hair filled his nose, her weight was comforting and supple in his arms. He swallowed and his face remained emotionless. The butterflies in his stomach abruptly died.

 

                “Really?” Collin choked out. “Are you going with him?”

 

                Kai sat up and twisted so she was facing him. Her eyes shined, and Collin schooled his expression into one of calm indifference. Indifference, he was sure, was all that he could manage. The thought of having to smile while she glowed about another guy seemed about as fun as tap dancing on porcupines.

 

                Kai rested her hand on his leg and nearly bounced with pleasure, “Yes! Of course. Oh, Collin, I’m so excited!” Kai fiddled with her hair and stared off, clearly already imagining how the night of Homecoming would play out.

 

                Collin cleared his throat, “Right,” he mumbled. “I…”

 

                “Hmm?” Kai stared at him, confusion layering over her happy appearance.

 

                “Nothing.“ He forced a smile, and felt the muscles in his face war against the action. “I’m happy that you found a date.”

 

                “Oh, thank you!” She hugged him again. Collin did not hug back like the last time and Kai didn‘t seem to notice. She barely held on, already she was standing on the other side of the cave, nearly dancing. He felt everything he had planned begin to slowly disintegrate before his eyes.

 

                “Maybe I’ll see if Caylee wants to go with me.”

 

                Kai stopped dancing. “Oh. She has a boyfriend. You know Josh.”

               

                Collin rubbed his fingers through his hair again. “Oh yeah. Right. The one with the eyebrows.”

 

                “Besides you already dated Caylee. It didn’t work, remember?”

 

                A mean little part of Collin enjoyed that she looked almost rejected over his mentioning Caylee and though he internally berated himself he continued. “Yeah, but I was young and naïve then.” He grinned wickedly. “Besides she’s hot now.”

 

                “Since when do you--?” Kai sputtered, “She’s not your type.”

 

                “Jealous?”

 

                That was too close to asking her if she had feelings for him. He wished he could snatch the words back and stuff them into his mouth and deep down his throat. Kai looked shocked and then snorted. “Of course not. You can go after her all you want. Just don’t come crying to me when your delicate sensibilities are offended after one week.”

 

                “Delicate sensibilities?”

 

                “I just think that Caylee is a little…” Kai pretended to fluff the already fluffed pillows.

 

                “A little?”

 

                She looked at Collin with all the concern that a mother duck would bestow upon a young duckling about to swim for the first time. “Wild for you.”

 

                Collin threw his head back to laugh and smacked it off the rock of the cave. Rubbing his head and trying not to scowl in pain he forced an anemic chuckle out and raised an eyebrow. “I can be wild.”

 

                “Wild?” Kai looked at him disbelievingly. “You threw up at Connor’s party last weekend.”

               

                Collin planted a smug look on his face. “Yeah. It was a wild party.”

 

                Kai imitated his eyebrow raise and smirked. “It was because you ate bad shrimp.”

 

                “Wild shrimp.”

 

                “As opposed to boring shrimp?”

 

                Collin waved her comment away. “This coming from the girl that didn’t know I was throwing up because she was too busy trying to teach Connor’s plant to dance.”

 

                Kai squealed. “I was not! I only had a few drinks and I had lost track of Caylee and you were single handedly making sure no one could use the bathroom for the rest of the night so I was sarcastically telling the ficus that I would be forced to dance with it.”

 

                Collin rolled his eyes.

 

                Kai threw another pillow at him. “It’s true!”

 

                Her pile of pillows and blankets went tumbling to the ground and she huffed at it and glared at her best friend.

 

                Collin stood and pulled her into a hug. “What’s true is that neither of us is nearly as wild as we think we are.”

 

                Kai leaned into him and nodded. Her nose was squished against his chest and when she spoke it was muffled and quite a bit nasally. “I am wilder than you.”

                Collin patted her on the top of the head. “Of course you are.”

               

“And Collin?” Kai started.

 

                “Yes?” His chest felt tight and his stomach clenched until his felt nausea threaten to well up his throat. Holding her was bitter sweet.

 

                “Everything will be fine.” She leaned back and tousled his hair. “I really think you’ve just been stressed lately. I have been too.“

 

                “You’re probably right.“

 

                Kai nodded just as her phone rang. She pulled away and looked at the screen and drew a scowl onto her face. “Mom wants me home for supper. You want to come over?” She questioned hopefully.

 

                “No, I’ll pass tonight. Thanks,” Collin responded looking at the ground.

 

                “Alright. I‘ll call you later. I may call Caylee and see if she‘ll meet me for supper…Dad‘s out of town and Lindsay is good at buffering, but I think she had something at school tonight. I don‘t feel like sitting alone with Vivian through a whole meal.”

 

She got up and wrinkled her nose at the prospect of eating with her mother. She headed towards the entrance but turned after a few steps and bent back down and hugged him, once more, in a vice-like embrace. “I love you Collin. You are my best friend and I don’t know what I’d do without you.“

 

                Collin hugged her back. “I love you too Kit.“

 

                Bye!” She yelled jumping out of the cave and out of sight.

 

                “I love you, Kailan. I wish I could tell you how much…” He rested against the stone wall. He tore his fingers through his hair, and he rested his head against his knees. “I love you, but why do you have to keep screwing it up?”

Author's Note

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