Chapter 3

Kai's feelings for Collin have never been clear, but as they grow, the line between friends and something more begins to blur...

Chapter 3 (Kai)

 

The bell rang for second period and as usual the response to its harsh clanging was ironic. Immediately upon hearing the first sound waves hit the air students jumped up and scattered about, not nearly as excited about their next class as their quick reactions made it appear. The teacher at the front of the room only just managed to yell out a few last minute instructions about the night’s assignment at his pupils’ backs.

 

                Kai’s next period consisted of forty five minutes of torture. Grammar would never be her forte so she was content to take her time.

 

                “Kai I’ll see you in PE! Make sure we get a locker next to each other!”

 

                “No problem. I’ll see you later!”

 

                She waved to Jessica Matthews and continued to shuffle her things until the classroom was nearly empty.

 

                “Kit, we’re gonna be late.”

 

                “Alright, alright already.” 

 

                She swallowed and juggled her books so she would have a free hand. Rummaging through her jean pocket, past her money and cell phone Kai found the note she had written at the beginning of class folded into a sloppy little square. She sped up and walked in sync with her best friend, smiling when he looked at her with his goofy grin. The grin that crinkled his eyes, and sometimes made her think that maybe Collin wasn’t the little boy she once or twice kissed on an impulse so many years ago.

 

                “I have AP Calc now, you’re going to English?” He raised his eyebrow like he was questioning her schedule, even though Kai knew he had memorized her classes before school had even started. Collin was like that. He, seemingly without effort, was her support whenever she needed him.

 

                Kai nodded, “Yeah…are you feeling ok now? I mean after first period…”

 

                Collin shook his head and laughed, Kai watched his eyes, “I told you I didn’t eat this morning. My sugar must have bottomed out…besides it’s not like it’s all that weird for me to fall asleep in class.”

 

                Kai bit her lip and looked down at her books, “I know…but when you woke up you looked like you were crying...that‘s not…”

 

                She looked at him and was surprised to find his face strained, “Kai…” He scratched the back of his head and smiled again, just like the last time it didn’t quite reach his eyes, “Don’t make me less of a man than I already am…I had a bad dream, I don’t remember it but it must have bothered me or something. I’m sure it involved Hawk Eye hunting me down like human prey while she consulted her flying monkeys for my location.”

 

                She looked at him skeptically.

 

He shifted his books under one arm and draped the other over her shoulders, “I’m fine…late for Calc, but fine. Woefully unathletic and I’d rather read Shakespeare than watch football, but I’m fine.” He winked, and squeezed his arm tighter around her. The warmth from his body melted into hers and Kai felt herself learning towards it. The thought of a moth’s attraction to a flame slid across her mind and she shook the metaphor. It was nothing like that. Collin would never burn her, never hurt her.

 

                Kai slanted her head and looked at him intently, “Fine?” She dropped her head again and tried to take a deep breath in, the weight of her books were heavy on her chest. She could feel her shoulders lift with the intake of air and press her arm tighter against Collin.

 

                He tilted her chin up, fingers gentle on her skin, “Yes fine. I’m fine Kit…I promise.”

 

                Which meant case closed, I’m not talking about this anymore, Kai. I’m using a nickname to butter you up and let you know to drop it.

 

                “Alright…you’re fine.”

 

                Collin punched her lightly on the shoulder, “I knew you were a quick one…I’ve got to get going…do you want me to walk with you to Minsky’s?”

 

                Kai frowned at him, “I’m capable of finding my classroom thank you very much.”

 

                Collin laughed, this time Kai didn’t fail to see happiness crinkle the corners of his eyes.

 

                ‘So glad I can amuse you…’

 

                Collin shook his head, “I know you can.”

 

                Kai began walking towards the hall, pretending to be mad at him, knowing he would stop her before she got too far. This was how the game went. Kai pushed and Collin pulled her right back to where she belonged.

 

                 She was pleased when his hand rested on her shoulder and he turned her around, “Maybe I just wanted an excuse to play big man on campus and carry the prettiest girl’s books to English.”

 

                Kai stuck out her tongue and giggled in spite of herself, “Sure. You’re obviously unathletic and blind.”

 

                Collin’s hand still rested on her shoulder, and she could swear he pulled her closer. Told herself he didn‘t pull her closer.

 

                 “You’d be surprised how well I can see you…”

 

                It took her a second to recover, his unexpected seriousness catching her off guard. After only a moment she shrugged it off. Collin always said things that with any other boy she would be sure was flirting. He was like a yo-yo. One minute he could be treating her like one of the guys, the next like his little sister, and in the middle of a sentence snap everything back and talk to her like she was sure a boy in love would talk to his sweetheart.

 

                It was just the way he was. He knew how she needed encouragement; how sometimes her own self-doubt left her crippled with a hopelessness she had no control over. He knew she played with him from time to time just so he would tell her something sweet, and as her best friend he obliged her as much as he could. Kai laughed again, and pushed him away teasingly. Her deliberation of his words was only a runaway thought across her mind, and already vacated in place of lighter, not nearly confusing, thoughts.

 

                “Don’t be such a dork.”

 

                Collin grabbed her books and amazingly managed to balance them on top of his own, “Ah, but you make me this way my lady…come you must adjourn to English, while I have been exiled to Mr. Yetter’s Calculus class.”

 

                Kai snatched her books back and shook her head, “You really are a nerd. We’re both late.”

               

                He laughed and helped her balance her things before they tumbled to the floor, waving amusedly and turning to walk away. Remembering the piece of paper still in her hand Kai tossed it at Collin’s head and ran down the hall, pausing only to look over her shoulder and watch him bend to pick it up and read the words she had written.

 

                Words she had written countless times before.

 

                Words that had been harder to write than usual, that had tugged at her chest and tossed butterflies into her stomach, ‘Stop being such an idiot. This is just Collin, it’s not like you wrote him a love letter.’

 

                She chanced a second look and was relieved to see the smile that spread across his face as he read the small short note.

 

                Meet me at our spot after school. "Kai

 

                A short jumble of words strung together with one small word holding more meaning than even their author could understand. Our…

 

                “You better be there!”

               

                His head shot up, “Wouldn’t miss it.”

 

                That word had nearly pulsed with its own life. Kai had pressed the pen into the single sheet of notebook paper harder when she had gotten to the middle of her note. She had been surprised at the possessiveness that seemed to sprint from her chest and squeeze her hand tighter around the pen.

 

                Our spot…

 

                The paper had torn at the top of the arch in the “r”…would he notice?

 

                “Remember I know where to find you!”

 

                Our…

 

                He saluted her and began walking away while still facing her, nearly taking out a poor unsuspecting seventh grader in the process.

 

                Mine?

 

                He helped the shorter teen steady himself and said something that made him laugh. She shook her head and waved, running the rest of the way and entering her English class just as the warning bell rang. She spotted her friend Caylee sitting in the back and breathed a sigh of relief. She did not want to sit alone right now, not while her heart was racing and she was still trying to process the maze of emotions Collin sometimes got her lost within.

 

                “Pop a squat.“ Caylee moved her books off the seat of the desk next to her and continued to pick at the dark purple nail polish losing its grip on her nails.

 

                ‘Best friend…our spot…’

 

                Kai fell into the chair and dropped her forehead onto the desk, “I have no interest what so ever in being here today.”

 

                Caylee rolled her lip ring back and forth, “I know what you mean. I’m pretty much done with this game. I’d like to stop playing school now.”

 

                Kai pushed her head against the desk in what she hoped was interpreted as a nod, “Yeah…something like that.”

 

                She looked up and rubbed her eyes, resting her head on her palm, “I’m just…” She watched Caylee’s ring move again, “Will you stop that? It freaks me out.”

 

                “Oh, so touchy today.” Caylee replied, not at all offended. “So something is up or you wouldn’t have made such a big deal about something I‘m sure you‘ve seen me do…oh about a million times before.” Caylee wiggled her eyebrows and shifted the ring again for good measure.

 

                “It’s nothing.” Kai dropped her head again. It was much more pleasant near the wooden surface of the desk. It was nice and cool and she could almost pretend she was five again and believe that if she couldn’t see anyone, they couldn’t see her either.

 

                Caylee poked her friend’s cheek, and Kai swatted her hand in response, “Which means there is something, hence the “It’s.” So dish.” She demanded. “I’ll keep annoying you until you do. That’s what friends are for.” She poked her again, “Or so I’ve heard.”

 

                Kai squeezed her eyes shut until colors exploded and her eyelids throbbed with the rhythm of her pulse. “It’s just Collin…again.”

 

                Caylee nodded, seemingly unsurprised. “Is this another ‘I don’t like Collin, but sometimes he makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside,’ kind of thing?”

 

                Kai laughed, and opened her eyes, waiting for the black to fade away from her vision. “No…yes…not exactly.”

 

                Caylee flicked the last dot of purple polish away from her pointer finger, “Ok?” She held the word in her mouth, drawing it out. “And…?”

 

                “At this point in time I really don’t think exploring my feelings for Collin is a good idea.” She sat up and ran her fingers through her hair, “I feel like…I don’t know, burnt out or something.”

 

                Caylee examined her friend, “You look a little burnt out.” She tilted her head and considered her closer, “Or at least a little fried around the edges.” She wrinkled her nose, “Like burnt toast…”

 

                Kai shook her head and Caylee decided to play along. Odds were in favor of Kai forgetting whatever was bothering her by the time class started, but she still rested a hand on her arm and asked, “What is it? Just the same usual mixed up twenty pages worth of diary angst Collin usually inspires?”

 

                Kai smiled sardonically. “No. Well…a little. That’s always confusing, but…” Kai opened one of her notebooks and began coloring in the top corner of a page. Her next words came out in a rush. “Collin passed out in class today. Well he said he fell asleep, but it didn’t seem like-- it just scared me. We were talking about five minutes before that and he was fine. Then, all of a sudden, he started dozing off and the next thing I know, he’s practically shaking and foaming from the mouth.”

 

                Caylee looked disbelievingly thoughtful, “Foaming from the mouth?”

 

                Kai turned away, “Well maybe not quite that bad.” Her pen broke through the paper.

 

                The top of the “r”…our spot…

 

                “But he was crying Cay.” She shook her head again and pushed the ink soaked edges of the paper around with her pen. “He said he wasn’t, but his eyes were all puffy and I saw him wipe his face off before Ms. Price started making him read aloud from Hamlet. The last time Collin cried was when his dad died…not even at the funeral, just that night.”

 

She dropped the pen and glanced at the front of the room, amazed to see a mere three minutes had passed since she had found her way to the back of the room. It seemed simultaneously a lifetime and a second ago, like time had stretched slowly to the breaking point of a rubber band and then snapped quickly back to reality before she could catch her bearings.

 

                Caylee glanced at the clock, their teacher was late. She looked back to Kai and decided this wasn’t Kai dragging them all through the sludge of drama she normally wadded through; she seemed legitimately concerned about Collin. Kai tended to over sensationalize most things that happened to her, but Caylee’s gut told her more was going on here than that.

 

She took a deep breath and reached over to hug Kai. She carefully picked her words, stepping around them like she was looking for a safe place to rest her foot. Kai was like a powder keg. One wrong step and she had a tendency to blow up and create enough fall out for all of them to be buried. 

 

“Awh, sweetie, I know you’re worried, but he’s okay now, right?”

 

                Kai rested into the hug, and smiled at Rachael Patricks when she looked sympathetically over her shoulder. “Yeah, I guess so. But what bothers me even more is he just shrugged it off. Something was obviously wrong,” 

 

                “What did he say it was?” Caylee questioned, rested back into her own seat. Collin and she had dated a few years ago, and while it had not worked out she was fond of him. Her interest was genuine.

 

                “He said it was because he hasn’t been eating much lately and missed breakfast today so he felt a little shaky and he dozed off. But that doesn‘t explain why he was crying. Cay…he‘s supposed to tell me everything…” Kai chewed her lip, puzzling over Collin’s mysterious behavior. Her uneasiness had settled into her stomach, heavy and acidic, making it ache. She continued leaning toward Caylee and propped her elbows on her knees, letting her head rest in her hands.

 

                “Kai, darling, he tells you everything. Don’t worry about it too much. Either he really meant that he just fell asleep or he’s going to tell you later. You know him,” Caylee smiled, and nodded towards the front of the room. Mrs. Mensky had finally entered, and was running through the roster marking people off as she saw them.

 

                Kai quieted and moved back into her seat, ‘She’s probably right, which is why I told him to meet me at our spot in the woods later…he’ll have to tell me there.’

 

                “Yeah, you’re right,” she said aloud, already brightening up. Collin could never keep secrets from her.

 

                The final bell rang signaling the beginning of the period and Mrs. Mensky got up to close the door. A few students ran into the room just as the English teacher’s hand made contact with the worn wood.

 

                Kai gave them all a nonchalant glance, she was already contentedly doodling a heart with her initials centered within it, until one particular student managed to snare her attention.

 

                “Tyler, the only reason I am allowing you into this classroom today is because you smell like Aquavelva. Do know what Aquavelva is?”  

 

Mrs. Mensky had rested her hand upon above mentioned boy’s arm and was looking at him expectedly. Tyler nodded and looked down at the shorter woman, an entertained smile beginning to form on his lips. At his affirmative answer Mrs. Mensky clapped her hands together. “Are you wearing it? You know, my first boyfriend always used to wear it. I still have a bottle in my desk!”

 

                “Uh, no, Mrs. Mensky. Sorry,” Tyler apologized. He ran his fingers over his lips to hide the grin that amusement had forced there. The class laughed while Mrs. Mensky good naturedly chased him to a seat.

 

                Kai giggled, watching the way Tyler’s shirt stretched across his broad shoulders when he sat down. She sighed. Teenage Gods didn’t talk to girls that danced to show tunes alone in their rooms and watched Disney movies on the weekends.

 

                ‘I’m not even a blip on the radar.’

 

                She turned to watch her friend Mallory hurry back to the empty seat beside her. It was best not to drool in public, and Kai was sure if she kept watching him roll up his sleeves, exposing forearms that could make a girl weak in the knees, she’d have a puddle on her desk.

 

                “Close call, she almost shut the door on you.”

 

                Mallory waved her hand as though she could physically block the comment from reaching her ears, “No matter. I know some good news,” She said to Kai with a wink and nod to the back of Tyler‘s perfect head.

 

                Kai’s eyebrows were nearly lost under her hair as they rose in surprise, “Tyler?”

 

                Mallory nodded and wiggled her own eyebrows, “The one and only. “

 

                Kai looked up to the boy sitting a few rows up. He turned around in his chair slightly, cocking his head to the side and giving Kai a megawatt smile that left currents of electricity coursing through her all the way to her toes.

 

                Mallory nudged her and smirked smugly. Kai’s face lit up. ‘Something good just may be around the corner… or just three rows in front of me…‘

 

                She ignored Caylee’s wrinkled nose and snort. She also managed to disregard what sounded like a comment containing the words “pretty boy” and “airhead,” and turned her back slightly so that she faced Mallory more. “What do you know? “

 

                Mallory held her fingers up to her lips and tilted her head towards the front of the room; Mrs. Minsky had paused when she had heard the whispering near the back of the class.

 

                Kai’s impatience lifted her hand and urged her pen to dash across the paper. Class seemed to fly by. Kai was so distracted with her many thoughts and the scribbled notes that Mallory and her passed for the whole forty five minutes, she barely heard the bell rang.

 

Her teacher’s voice stole away into a daydream involving a tropical paradise that amazingly seemed deserted without any means of transportation to and from the island, “Dear, you can’t stay in my room! I might have to set the mice on you! They protect it, you know.“

 

                Kai stared into the woman’s eyes for a second, mentally still tearing her suddenly svelte and bikini clad body away from Tyler’s tan and beautifully toned chest. She had tripped and somehow landed there…

 

                She tossed her head from side to side and pushed her hand to her forehead, “Sorry, Mrs. Mensky.” She managed, trying to ignore the comment about the mice. “I’m just leaving.”

               

                She scooped her things into her bag and stood up while looking down into her backpack and making sure everything was accounted for. She began walking, fumbling through a mass of paper and pens that had seemed to multiply already since the first week of school. “Jeeze, we’ve only been here a week and already I can’t see the bottom of this stupid thing…” She mumbled.

 

                “I could help you clean it out.”

 

                Kai knew that voice. It was husky and slightly amused, attached to what was probably a beautiful set of lungs and an equally adorable voice box.

 

                She swallowed and stared resolutely at her feet, “I said that out loud didn’t I?”

 

                Kai could feel the heat radiating off her cheeks. She was sure if they felt this hot to her they were certainly burning a bright embarrassingly vibrant red. A furious, homing beacon, I can see that you’re embarrassed far beyond normal social stipulations therefore you must like me: red. Fair complexions and embarrassing moments have never walked hand in hand, rather they seem to battle each other quite heatedly, the complexion always on the losing end.

 

                She chanced looking up and became snared in his eyes. She smiled and stuttered out a noncommittal noise that sounded as though it was somewhere between a laugh and a trapped rabbit‘s panicked scream.

 

                “Would you like that?”

 

                She nodded.

 

                 He smirked in return.

 

                “Well we should set some time aside…”

Author's Note

Thanks for your time and any input!