White Lines and Eyes

White lines divide the room

Segmenting my vision

 

The powder hangs in the air

While things scurry in the shadows

Fibrous fingers brushing skin

Leaving a line of welts red and swollen

Along their faint trail

 

A home dissected

A sanctuary destroyed

Segmented bagged and parted out

 

Needles pierce

Addicted to crimson

Insectiod thoughts

Swarm behind my weary eyes

 

I tire of these tracks

I tire of this distraction

I want freedom again

And not the depression of living as a refugee

 

So the powder was replaced

Changing from a fine white substance

To something black

Something flammable

 

Like a mad man I smoke

As this new thing is applied

Not caring for health or safety

I need this calming act while I work

 

Inhale the light blue smoke

Exhale hatred for this circumstance

 

This feels like an old western

I cant help but thinking

As I set the barrel down

 

Kind of cheesy

But entirely necessary

 

So I lit the trail of gunpowder

Running out of my apartment door

Because I tire of track marks

Insectiod eyes

And the gentle caress of fibrous

Fingertips

06/24/2012

0638 am

Reviews

[Mockingbird]

sounds like someone who is an addict that wants desperately to kick the habit. the imagery captures the effects of each substance, the negative ones anyway. there is a feeling of self-hate and despair. stark and clean but holds much meaning and accurately depicts the actual experience of doing these drugs.. excellent work.

[...]

Wow! There's a seething desperation in the tone of the narrator and yet a controlled inner power and resilience too. It's as if the narrator wants to break the shackles of circumstance and somehow just change everything. I'd say this was a song of freedom -- even if it's freedom from one substance to be replaced by a dependence on (hopefully) a milder one. I knew someone who went from cocaine to marijuana. Sometimes progress happens in stages. That's how I relate to this super piece of writing.

[_mal]

An interesting read, I can relate to a point but with different drugs. You've captured something here

[Laura Maidah]

"Along a faint trail" has a less harsh sound, otherwise in your edition, it has total dissonance. This is very precise and neat. SPaG is great. You repeated the word "fibrous" which I thought was unnecessary. Overall, nice work.