three

He had broken something. The car was smoking and squalling, spewing a thick burnt sweet smell that rolled out of the vents in the car in a cloud, a noxious smell burning his eyes and nose. But Kyle couldn’t let the car slow, he had to keep going. He swerved past yet another car on the median constantly thanking God that he hadn’t ran across any state troopers or regular pigs.

Horns blared and drivers shot him the bird as he imitated all of the a*****e drivers he had ever encountered in his brief time on this end of town. Before this he was a small town boy with bad habits, bad company, and the best smile in town. If you needed anything from drugs to guns his company could help and he was privy to all of the benefits as a middleman.

Kyle never handled the drugs or guns of what the f**k ever was passed through the hands of those around them. He was just scenery, threatening scenery with a safe place to conduct business. The rest of the time was spent drinking in the fields and abandon building surrounding the town. Bon fires and drugs filled the night but that’s not what Kyle was thinking about right now.

It was about the opportunities he turned down to escape the group. He was somehow slotted to move up in the ranks. He was the one with the least ambition to be a seller in a buyers’ market but apparently had the most potential. He was able to keep his head down, look innocent enough, and avoid all unnecessary contact with the authorities. Plus he had the knack to escape the stupid situations, hell to see the stupid situations.

But now he was running back to the place he left. He was running to the one place where the black leather glove of the law was going to have a hard time throwing him in a ten finger bracelet. He was pushing this as far as it would go; pushing his luck, pushing the car, and praying that there was still some fondness for the one who wandered off.

“It wasn’t like I told them to f**k off.” Kyle muttered as he swerved around a primer grey Chevy panel van, truly resembling the chosen conveyance of serial rapist, and cut in front of a semi just entering the highway.

He had made good time, so far, and he felt as if he may be in the clear. Kyle let a smile creep onto his face as he topped the hill just outside the city and took in the view of the flat expanse, those amber waves of grain that separated the city from the town. The void between civilization and the less civilized that last stretch between hell and home free.

 

“So how long has this been home, Kyle?” the agent asked as he sipped water from the glass.

“Please, call me Mr. Zygote.” He replied around the cigarette as he watched the suit inspect his house.

“How long has this been home, Mr. Zygote? Does that make you feel older? I was never very fond of the formal titles. Reminded me of my training, everyone was Mr. this or Ms. that, they reduced it to the point where we couldn’t even tell who was single. You couldn’t tell who a person was. Have you ever felt like that Kyle?”

But he didn’t feel like responding so he tapped the cigarette ash into the tray on the table and shot him a dead eyed stare instead. The agent noticed the lack of response and casually shot a curious look over his shoulder; one eyebrow cocked on his polished head, and then let out a heavy sigh. He grabbed one of the steel folding chairs stacked against the wall and set it in the center of the living room.

“I hate it when people are impersonal.  It makes this very repetitive, and I was hoping you were going to be different, unique perhaps.”

“What the hell do you want? This isn’t an art gallery, and I have things I need to do, so quit looking around and let’s get to the point.”

The man in the suit clasped his hands behind his back as he turned to face Kyle; the smile seemed to grow like mold as he shifted, saying, “The hard way it is. We believe that you are a subversive personality.”

“Excuse me?”

“We believe that you have the potential to destroy a lot of hard work, the work of patriots and politicians alike with your sheer presence. Because of this we need to conduct an analysis, a battery of tests to confirm or deny this designation, although the algorithm has yet to fail, before we determine our course from here.” He then bent down and retrieved the briefcase resting against his leg.

Kyle could feel the sweat building along his hairline, could feel his hands shaking ever so slightly, as the man used the edge of the black leather case to knock the picture of his parents off the short bookshelf against the wall converting it into a counter top. He then snapped the silver clasps simultaneously, while saying, “Why don’t you have a seat while we get started. Hopefully this will only take a moment.”

“Wait a minute; I thought this was about my credit.”

“Oh it is. We have erased you from the records, all of them. You have no credit, no identification, no voting record, and no birthplace. If you pass this I will make a phone call and you can be a person again. If you fail, well, you end. “

“What because some God damned equation said so?”

“It’s a little more complicated than that, but yes. You are a threat until determined otherwise, and honestly we’re off to a bad start,” he said as he reached into the briefcase, casually adding, “Now sit down.”

Author's Note

01/03/2013 0520

Reviews

[Mockingbird]

'a subversive personality' all from his credit history. they had to have been following him for some time now. i like the going back and forth from the present to the past which seems like it's the present. this is very film noir, where some regular guy gets sucked into something big that he can't control but now has control of him. the scene is very ominous. great job.

[K.C. Zbryk]

I read a few articles about how they may have found a formula to predict criminal nature in individuals, a tool to try nd predict who was more likely to commit a crime, and i have always been fascinated by the big brother conspiricies so i decided to work those theories to gether.. And i always loved the film noir genra.. Im glad that you are enjoying this so far.

[.]

-- “We believe that you have the potential to destroy a lot of hard work, the work of patriots and politicians alike with your sheer presence. Because of this we need to conduct an analysis, a battery of tests to confirm or deny this designation, although the algorithm has yet to fail, before we determine our course from here.” He then bent down and retrieved the briefcase resting against his leg. --

Your intelligence and creativity astounds me, my friend! The brilliance you exude is awe-inspiring. I am reminded of the power of subliminal messages as well as the way the state tries to control its citizens. Since I have been thrown out of the system, I identify with this character a lot. This books continues to be riveting. The detailing is amazing. The length of the chapters and the pace of narration seems just right. Excellent work!

[K.C. Zbryk]

I'm thrilled that you are enjoying the story so far! This is my second attempt at a short story, the first was in highschool, and i though the short segments would make it easy for the reader to take a break. Other than that i just kinda spew on a keyboard. And i am always fascinated by the manipulative actions of governments and individuals alike. So im pulling inspiration from everywhere. Hopefully this wont be much more than nine or ten chapters...

[.]

I think the length you're planning would be great. I think this is the era of brevity and I don't mind that. I wish this site would allow us to upload e-books as msword files or pdf files in a sort of virtual bookshop. I find this feature a logical extension of the features on this site.

[K.C. Zbryk]

I would publish this as a "short story" in the initial selection but then its one huge lump. Just seems like it would chase readers away.And i would be nice if we could upload works like it was a book shop. I think that would make this a very unique site. More so than it allready is i mean...

[.]

I disagree vehemently with the description "one huge lump" even if you're just kidding! :P But I won't disagree about the sheer amount of text on one page being intimidating. I'm too hooked to reading poetry. I've noticed that I've started reading fiction as attentively as I'd read poetry. I read each and every word carefully. So, if there's too much text, I'm not able to handle it. I guess it's a course of these times and of reading on the computer.

[.]

*curse (and not course)

[K.C. Zbryk]

But this would be ten pages from MS word to the WC. I have a hard time bringing myself to read the loooong pieces. This is why i broke this up. So now instead of the never ending post its ten reasonable posts. People can take a break when they need, and its easier to keep a place. Im nt saying theres anything wrong with the long pieces. It's just a matter of dividng time. but thank you for not considering this a "lump" :p

[.]

No, no. You don't need to fill each page with text. The same text could be distributed over 20 or even 30 pages--making this particular "short story" of yours a very interesting and riveting novella. :) Oh, and I'm also not saying there's something wrong with the long pieces. I can read any number of pages as long as there isn't too much text on one page. :P