Ruptured

The day it shattered
I knew it mattered
More than I had let myself believe

The life went on
But I just mourned
The jolting loss of the obscure dream

Shimmering light
I see, twinkling bright
In the creeping darkness and space

Cuckoo had called
The birds all gone
Leaving me in the oblivion forever

The shattered pieces
Tease me with creases
In the memories of life I once knew

Grief and shame
Sleep in open grave
To keep an eye on the chameleon sky

Goodnight to you
Dreams that come true
Are smashed by wishes reared in malice


-©jyoti_ablaze

Author's Note

When the pen bleeds...

Read/Review/Rate/Share
Thank you for your time!

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem bleed sadness and disappointment.
"The shattered pieces
Tease me with creases
In the memories of life I once knew "
The above lines are true. We can shatter like glass when heart is broken. Thank you my friend for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you so much for the kind words. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Always my pleasure and you are welcome.

[T.S. Sky]

Very nice and passion fire filled.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for your kind words! :)

[T.S. Sky]

You're welcome

[...]

A bleeding pen is the best kind the pen of a poets heart! Thought provoking. Starz x

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for your kind words!

[Neville]

Hey when the pen bleeds, ya just gotta go with the flow What a pleasure it has been to bend my mental muscle around your well chosen words.....N

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Neville, thank you again. You are very kind. :)

[.]

Your pen is certainly bleeding in this piece, but with a lovely eloquence that is not usually used to write about the subject of death.

The poem has not an ounce of morbidity, yet deals with the shattered remnants of a life scarred by death.

Very nice work.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you Doodley for your kind review. Hope you are having a good day.
Glad you visited! :D

[siddhi]

very deep ,thoughtful peom
agree when pen bleeds

your frnd
siddhi

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you very much, Siddhi! Glad you visited!

[siddhi]

welcome it is my pleasure

[Adam Adams]

review: nice pattern! never read in this matrix before. very good & absorbing. along with proper choice of words, i like, how creatively you even keep the balance of wordy-qualities in it. captivating work here!

rate: 99.9/100
ps. half % was actually consumed in "review" so don't mind 99.9 %. lol xoxo

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Adams, thank you very much for your kind words! Made me really happy. :)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

"Goodnight to you
Dreams that come true
Are smashed by wishes reared in malice"
I have just one word to say about this composition: "wow!!"
Loved the flow☺

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

YumnaKay, thank you for your kind words. Much appreciated!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

You are welcome! The pleasure was mine ☺

[Ben Noah Suri]

Deep and meaningful as always...

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you Ben. Glad you visited!

[Hanah Gotski]

To me this poem portrays the pain and emotion when u lose an important person in your life. "Grief and shame/ Sleep in over grave" reflects death to me.
I really liked the rhyme pattern of the poem. Thankyou for this beautiful piece of work!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for your kind commentary, Hanah! You are the first who deciphered that it's death, I am talking about. Glad you did.

[Hanah Gotski]

The poem is deep and can be interpreted in a number of ways. This fact shows the beauty of your poetry. Really honored to review such a poem!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for your kindness, I am humbled. :)