Rally interesting word play that you have going on here. I didn't really get the 'binds' ,(maybe that's me just being true to my blonde hair color), but I understood what was going on later on in the poem. Mainly, at the end. What I really love about poetry is that you can use small, simple, weak words to really pack some deep, deep stuff into a small space. I know that you're trying to keep your rhyme streak going here, but I (personally, but this is your style and piece) would rather get what I'm reading like immediately rather than recognizing a really cool rhyme.
Overall, though, I thoroughly enjoyed your poem. It was super uplifting and inspirational, and has an interesting play on opposites. Keep up the good work, and I can't wait to read more from you!
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
Thank you Firebelle! Your kind review is encouraging! I will try n see what can I do about the issue.. read moreThank you Firebelle! Your kind review is encouraging! I will try n see what can I do about the issue you pointed out.
Thank you.
my friend! ... i like your new moniker .. "Jyoti_Abalze" ..and this poem is so full of the joy and excitement of a young and cathartic moment ... a revelation ... an understanding that lets loose the fetters of things as doubt and guilt (among many others i am sure) ... your poem makes me feel happy for the speaker ... my own feet lift off the ground a bit in the wake of the soaring ;)))
E.
ps. fine use and exploration of contradictions .. and cliche's ... in my humble opinion :)
Hey Einstein! So glad you visited. N FYI I have used some fun while making my moniker as well; jyoti.. read moreHey Einstein! So glad you visited. N FYI I have used some fun while making my moniker as well; jyoti means light n ablaze, u know that. :)
Thank you for your kind review. It is usually much awaited. :D
8 Years Ago
no ..i did not know that ... you are a kind and intelligent soul ... on fire it seems :)
I like the poetry.
"As a free spirit, she rises
Rises so assured that nothing defies."
Good thoughts and description led to above good ending. Thank you Jyoti for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote
Hey! I am Jyoti, have seen 21 winters pass without a trace of snow; (it never snows in the west region of INDIA).
Hope to see it someday..!
Believe in living and loving every moment of life.. Of cou.. more..